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LEE Baucom/
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Articles by LEE Baucom

Browse published articles attributed to LEE Baucom, with full-archive search.

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By LEE BaucomAug 30, 20121 topic

Save The Marriage Rule 3: Love Follows Action

It is an old story, retold several times a year in Hollywood, many times in books. Two people meet, fall in love, and feel the pitter-patter of their heartbeats forever. They always have that love-sick look in their eyes, even when they are apart. That is proof that they are the right people for each other. Or at least Hollywood --and novels-- would have us believe it! And that one myth is more destructive than almost any other about love and marriage in our culture. Myth.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,622 views

By LEE BaucomMar 4, 20091 topic

Top Ten Ways To NOT Save Your Marriage!

Here it is! My Top 10 Ways to NOT Save Your Marriage! These are the mistakes I see day-in and day-out. Avoid these mistakes if you want to save your marriage. Commit these mistakes at your own risk! 10) Do nothing! Don't worry, the crisis (problem, situation, incident, threat, etc.) will pass! Ah, the old "bury your head in the sand approach!" The reality is, it is very unlikely that the crisis will simply pass. Let's be honest: over time, this strategy builds up more and m

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,583 views

By LEE BaucomJul 24, 20131 topic

Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps

“So, how DO you save your marriage?” asked the frustrated voice on the other end of the call. “Eric” had been working to save his marriage for some time. And it seemed that no matter where he looked, all he saw was conflicting advice: “fix your communication,” “make her jealous,” “use reverse psychology,” and lots of other “gems” out there. But it left Eric no closer to saving his marriage than when he started. “Why is it so hard?,” wondered Eric. I had to agree. Since I crea

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,517 views

By LEE BaucomAug 20, 20121 topic

Rule 2 for Saving Your Marriage

However it happened, you find yourself in the middle of a marriage crisis. You may not have even seen it coming. Maybe you did, but you were pretending not to notice. Or maybe you saw it coming, but couldn't do anything about it. Your first reaction is likely shock. You feel that gut-wrenching grab in your stomach, the cold sweat of fear gripping you. That "punched in the stomach" feeling floods your body with adrenaline, pumping you into an all-out fear response. If you ar

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,443 views

By LEE BaucomApr 24, 20091 topic

What Feeds Extramarital Infatuations?

Yet another person sitting in my office, trying to explain why his marriage was doomed for failure, and his "new love" was right! "Greg" is a good guy. He is successful, nice, well spoken. . . by all exte al accounts, he's got it all. His wife of 18 years stays home and raises their two kids. Who would know that Greg is ready to "chuck it all," as he told me? You see, part of Greg's job requires him to travel internationally. He loves the new places he gets to see, and for

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,422 views

By LEE BaucomDec 7, 20091 topic

Is It REALLY Possible To Stop A Divorce?

Marriage is a relationship of balance. . . and a balance that is easily upset these days. Unfortunately, the solution many people choose to deal with the situation is to divorce. I say "unfortunate" because the vast majority of people enter into getting a divorce with a very optimistic view of the consequences. In fact, people underestimate the cost, the emotional toll, the length of time, the energy, and the consequences for children. So, they blindly head down the road to

Primary topic: Divorce

2,260 views

By LEE BaucomJul 24, 20131 topic

Save Your Marriage: End Limiting Beliefs

“What can I do?,” cried Sharon, “I can’t do anything! I don’t even know where to start! I want to save my marriage, but he refuses to even think about it.” And with that, Sharon launched into a discussion that lasted at least 25 minutes, telling me why nothing could be done, why her marriage was a lost cause, and how she was useless. After several attempts to slow down the avalanche of hopelessness, I finally got Sharon’s attention: “Okay, so there is nothing you can do. Thi

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,124 views

By LEE BaucomApr 14, 20101 topic

I Am Tired and Sore (And What That Has To Do With Saving Your Marriage!)

I admit it! I am tired. I am sore. I have discovered muscles I didn't know I had, and ones I didn't know could hurt! Here's the thing: for years, I have been a trail runner. I love being in the woods, seeing the changing seasons, and running with my Yellow Lab, Sunny. We have a blast! But then, winter hit. It was cold, but worse, it was wet -- very wet! And it never stayed cold enough to freeze the ground. And it seemed that on every running day, it rained. Well, as much as I

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,008 views

By LEE BaucomSep 6, 20131 topic

Can A Separation Save Your Marriage?

In the past few days, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones announced they are separating. Reportedly, the reason for the separation is to “take some time apart and work on themselves.” The 13 year marriage has endured Douglas’ throat cancer and Zeta-Jones’ diagnosis of suffering from Bi-Polar Disorder. The same report also notes that there has been no legal action. Which raises the question: can a separation save a marriage? That is a simple “yes, it can.” The more compl

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

2,003 views

By LEE BaucomNov 24, 20081 topic

A Thankful Attitude Can Save Your Marriage

In the United States, it is around Thanksgiving, a time set aside to be thankful. For far too many people, it really becomes an opportunity to eat a big meal, watch a little football, and take a few days off work. Too bad! What an opportunity to set aside a time to do what we should always do: focus on that for which we are thankful. In fact, the latest research on our health and our ability to thrive shows that those who are thankful and express gratitude live longer, have

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,723 views

By LEE BaucomAug 20, 20131 topic

Why Connection Is Easier To Heal Than You Think. . . And How To Do It!

Jill and Steve were similar to lots of other couples I have seen. Each was deeply hurt and angry with the other. Neither felt loved or cared for. Both felt deeply disconnected. But Jill still dragged Steve into my office, hoping for a change. Steve was sure that nothing could be done, telling me “it just isn’t meant to be. If it were, we would not always be so hurt and angry.” While Jill was hurt, she was still hopeful that something could change -- that there was some solut

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,723 views

By LEE BaucomNov 18, 20081 topic

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Marriage

Do I have your attention? Are you thinking I am blaming you for your marriage? That is not my intention. The reality is, though, that you are searching for help with your marriage. So, there is nothing I can do about your spouse, but there may be something I can do to help you change, or even save, your marriage. I constantly hear cries of "it's not my fault," or "there's nothing I can do." That misses the fact that in any situation, there are two sides contributing to the

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,504 views

By LEE BaucomNov 19, 20081 topic

A Marriage Saving Wager

There you are, trying to decide whether your marriage can be saved, or if you even want to save it! Many times, we find ourselves struggling and struggling, ready to just give up. We tell ourselves that it just isn't worth it, but then find ourselves looking for information. That usually means you aren't quite ready to "throw in your towel." So, why not take what I am calling "Baucom's Wager?" What is Baucom's wager? Glad you asked. But first, you get a short history/philos

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,462 views

By LEE BaucomJun 12, 20071 topic

Marriage: Learning to Love

My daughter was recently in her school's performance of Fiddler On The Roof. She was one of the daughters. If you don't know the story, it focuses on the changing culture of marriage, from one where the marriage is arrainged by family and community to one based on mutual attraction. In one of the songs, the main character asks his wife if she loves him. She replies that for 25 years, she has shared his bed, made his meals, tended his house, raised his children -- so what kin

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,399 views

By LEE BaucomJun 12, 20071 topic

A Myth Of Marriage

Part of the difficulty with marriage is that the only training we get is "on the job." Rarely do you say to someone, "I want you to go work with those tools in there. Have fun, get the job done, and don't kill yourself." But, essentially, that is the start of a marriage. We have some rudimentary skills from relating to others, but the real knowledge and skills are hard-ea ed. And the problem is, sometimes we learn lessons that are incorrect, or at least only partially true.

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,338 views

By LEE BaucomDec 11, 20081 topic

Seasons Of A Marriage: Change Happens!

I love to trail run. I love the exhiliration of running through the woods, feeling the ground beneath me. I'm usually just behind my yellow Lab. I don't live in what anyone would consider to be the Mecca of trail running. But there is this one trail. . . I figure I have run it over 600 times. It is my standby trail, about 7 miles long. After that many runs, I know what is coming, and exactly where I am. I don't have to think about it, I just go. My mind calms and I think of

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,325 views

By LEE BaucomJan 26, 20061 topic

A Thought Is A Thought: Your Mind and Depression

Science has bought the whole "depression is a result of a chemical imbalance." We have whole theories about how a low level of serotonin in the brain leads to depression. So, we have a whole medicine industry that is caught up in the pursuit of healing depression through a chemical intervention. Yet medication has failed to bring about healing. Why? We missed the boat. Depression is rooted in our thoughts. Our minds become our own worst enemy. And we even have a theory about

Primary topic: Depression

1,323 views

By LEE BaucomOct 15, 20081 topic

Watch Your Assumptions And Save Your Marriage

A marriage crisis makes it difficult to process information. If you are trying to save your marriage, I hope you will find this article to be helpful in taking a step back and thinking about your perceptions. Let's face it: we all go through every day, even every hour of the day making assumptions. We have to. Otherwise, we are constantly caught trying to check everything out. This morning, I got in my car, turned the key, put the car in gear, and off I drove. I didn't take

Primary topic: Marriage Coaching

Marriage Coaching

1,320 views

By LEE BaucomOct 22, 20071 topic

How To Save Your Marriage

Each year in America alone, nearly 1 million marriages end in divorce. This is an incredible number! That would be as if all the citizens of Houston Texas were divorced (each divorce leaves 2 people). The question is how many of those marriages could be saved. Unfortunately, that is an invisible number. If your marriage stays together, it is hard to find in the statistics. As Marian Wright Edelman wrote, statistics are stories with the tears washed off. Can your marriage be

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,237 views

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