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Articles by Margaret Paul

Browse published articles attributed to Margaret Paul, with full-archive search.

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Showing 351–400

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. April 25, 2016 ________________________________________ Healing from a relationship with a narcissist is a learned process. Learn it now! ________________________________________ Many of us have been there. You met the person of your dreams – charming, intelligent, romantic, attentive, incredible chemistry and great lover. You might have been told how wonderful you are, how this was the first time your love had ever felt this way and had this level of connection, and you felt truly seen for the first time.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,677 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Terror that Triggers Protective Behaviors

________________________________________ Do you know what triggers you and why? ________________________________________ Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling angry or scared or shut down when a moment ago you were feeling fine? People or situations can trigger us into rage, anger, blame, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal, numbness, dissociation, explaining, complaining, lecturing, righteousness and so on. These triggered feelings are generally attached to previous traumatic events, such as: • Abuse – emotional, physical and/or sexualr

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,674 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Healing Celebration Anxiety

________________________________________ Are the holidays a joy for you or do you dread them? Are you ready to heal your celebration anxiety? ________________________________________ What were celebrations like in your home? Were they fun, connected family times that you looked forward to, or was there something about these times that made you dread them? The holidays are upon us. How are you feeling about them? ___I'm feeling excited! Holidays were so much fun in my home when I was growing up. I love the rituals, the decorations, the love and the sharing of gifts.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,670 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Are You Addicted to Complaining As A Form of Control?

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. April 11, 2016 ________________________________________ Why do people complain? What is it they want or hope for when they complain? In this article, discover the answers to these questions, as well as what to do about it if you are addicted to complaining. ________________________________________

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,662 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Getting Out of The Negative Relationship Cycle

Should you leave a relationship that is stuck in a negative cycle? It is quite common for me to work with clients who are stuck in a dysfunctional relationship cycle. Sarah describes a common cycle that she wants to resolve:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,652 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***How Are You and Your Partner Doing Together?

How is your relationship with your partner? What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship? What are the positive and negative aspects of your relationship?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,648 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Power of Appreciating Yourself

________________________________________ Do you often feel unappreciated? ________________________________________ "I'm a very nice person. I'm a good guy and I do nice things for people, but they never seem to appreciate me, and I feel angry about that," said Martin in one of our first phone sessions. For me, this statement holds much information regarding how Martin was trying to control others and make them responsible for him, and how much he was abandoning himself. Let's analyze this statement.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,638 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"Why Didn't God Stop The Abuse?"

Have you ever wondered why God allows so much abuse, so much pain, so much war? "God has no hands but these." - Mother Theresa I am often asked by my clients, "If God is all powerful, why didn't he stop my father (or mother, or brother, or babysitter, or uncle or a stranger) from abusing me? Why does he allow all this abuse to go on?"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,635 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Superheroes vs. Underminers: Are You Supporting Your Personal Power?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. February 29, 2016 Are there people in your life and wounded parts of yourself who want to limit you from being in your personal power? How many of you had the experience growing up of being told in various ways to not claim your personal power and instead limit yourselves from being all you can be? Do you remember the cartoon movie "The Incredibles"? This older movie is a wonderful metaphor for this. In The Incredibles, the superheroes - those with extraordinary powers - are restricted from using their powers.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,627 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"How Do I Know When The Issue Is Mine?"

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. January 04, 2016 Do you sometimes get confused regarding whether a relationship issue is about you, about your partner, or about both of you? Alexa asked me the following question: "How do you know when you are self-abandoning and being needy versus setting off fear of engulfment in your partner that is about them and not about you having done something inappropriate?" One of the ways of dealing with this kind of situation is to assume that you are ALWAYS a part of it, and that there is ALWAYS something for you to lea

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,609 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"I Lose Myself Around Others"

Have you wondered why you are often able to take loving care of yourself when you are alone but you lose yourself in relationships? Discover the answer now! Do you find that you take loving care of yourself when you are alone, but that you lose yourself with someone you are attracted to, or around someone you want to connect with? This is a common issue. Val asks:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,609 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Healing Love Addiction Within a Relationship

Relationships can provide a wonderful arena for healing love addiction. Many relationships flounder due to the issue of love addiction. Since people come together at their common level of woundedness - i.e., their common level of self-abandonment - if one partner is love addicted, it is likely that the other partner is also love addicted or addicted to caretaking the love-addicted partner.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,609 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***What Does It Mean To Be Love Addicted?

________________________________________ How do you know if you are love addicted? Discover the answer in this article. ________________________________________ Our culture seems to promote love addiction to such an extent that it seems like a healthy way to relate. While it is very common, it is anything but healthy. Because it is so prevalent, many people don't realize they are love addicted. Henry asks:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,608 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Healing Attachment Wounds

Inner Bonding is a powerful process for healing attachment wounds. Did you have a secure, reliable loving bond with at least one parent or caregiver? Was one of your parents or caregivers consistently emotionally available and responsive to your needs? If not, then you likely have attachment wounds. Sadly, few people had parents or caregivers who were emotionally healthy enough to be loving parents with their children.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,606 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Are You Selling Your Soul?

You might not think you are selling your soul, but is this true? What have you given up for money and possessions? - Have you given up kindness to get ahead? - Have you given up family time for a bigger TV? - Have you given up fun for a new car? - Have you given up hobbies for a promotion? - Have you given up vacations for prestige?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,603 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Why Many Women Don't Think About Sex

Are you a woman who rarely or never thinks about sex? Have you believed that was something wrong with you? ________________________________________ Lave e wrote the following to me:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,601 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"Divorced and Reconciled – But It's Not Working"

________________________________________ After reconciling with your partner, do you find yourself back in the same pattern? ________________________________________ Nancy wrote to me asking the following question:r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,600 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Addiction to Convenience

________________________________________ Is convenience bringing you fulfillment and joy? ________________________________________ How did we get so deeply into instant gratification? How did we get so far away from receiving satisfaction from doing things that take some time? A good example of this is food. Fast food restaurants would never have flourished if people weren't addicted to convenience. What happened to the satisfaction of preparing delicious food from scratch?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,598 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Loving Yourself: A Path To Manifestation

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. January 03, 2017 Discover how loving yourself can not only lead to the manifestation of your dreams, it can also lead to manifesting kindness and caring on our planet. "Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces that incessantly draw great events." – Ralph Waldo Emersonr If great hearts draw great events, and therefore support our ability to manifest, then what creates a great heart?r

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,595 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Courage

___________________________________________________________________Do you have the courage to do the things you are afraid of, or do you allow fear to stop you? ___________________________________________________________________ "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it." ~Nelson Mandela "He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." ~Muhammad Ali

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,592 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***How Do I Know If I Have Abandonment Issues?

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. April 18, 2016 ____________________________________________________________ Have you wondered if you have an abandonment issue? Discover the answer to this question in this article – and what to do about it. ____________________________________________________________

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,586 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"Can We Be Friends After A Relationship Ends?”

Discover what you may need to address before deciding whether you can be friends with an ex partner. Elise writes: "My partner and I separated a year ago. My partner now wants to finalize the relationship but work on being 'friends'. I am having difficulty connecting as just 'friends', it seems to trigger all my old wounds of rejection and abandonment. Do you have any advice?"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,573 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***When You Love Yourself, You Love Others

Are you being selfish if you do what brings you joy, even if others don't like it? Do you feel trapped, believing you can't really take loving care of yourself without being unloving to others? One of the questions I often hear from my clients is, "If I take care of myself and do what brings me joy, aren't I being selfish?"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,573 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Greed

Greed is wreaking havoc on our planet. "We are in danger of destroying ourselves by our greed and stupidity." ~Stephen Hawking "In a country well-gove ed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of." ~ Confucius What Causes Greed? The Free Dictionary defines greed as "an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth."

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,564 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Self-Love vs. Selfless Love

Is there a difference between loving yourself and loving others, or are they one and the same? ________________________________________ Have you ever been confused about the boundary between loving yourself and also being loving to others?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,563 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***How to Talk about Sex

Are you stuck in your relationship not being able to talk about sex, or getting into power struggles about sex? Sean wrote in the following question on one of my free webinars about sexuality:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,559 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Healing the Mother Wound

________________________________________ Do you have a mother wound that plagues you in your life and your relationships? ________________________________________ Many of us have a deep and painful mother wound from not receiving the nurturing we needed. Without adequate healing, this wound can follow you around your whole life and affect all your relationships. Are you still trying to get the love from your mother that you did not receive as a child? This is the situation that Katie is in:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,557 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

Loving Yourself By Following Your Guidance

A major aspect of loving yourself is taking the loving action suggested by your spiritual guidance. I cannot even begin to tell you how much my life has changed since I’ve been following the advice of my guidance rather than my ego wounded self. Here are just a few of the changes that have occurred for me: I no longer feel anxious, fearful or depressed. I feel peaceful, joyful and excited about my life most of the time. Judgments of myself are a thing of the past. I feel a deep sense of self-worth instead of believing I’m not good enough.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,554 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Addiction to Spirituality: The Spiritual Bypass

By Dr. Margaret Paul May 16, 2016 Are you using your spirituality as a "spiritual bypass" to avoid feeling your feelings and taking responsibility for them? Lian had been meditating for many years before consulting with me for his depression. He had been part of a spiritual community that encouraged their members to turn to God through prayer and meditation whenever they were feeling any difficult or painful feelings such as anger, hurt, anxiety or depression. He had been taught that Spirit would transmute his feelings for him and bring him the inner peace he sought.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,552 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Change Your Life With This Simple Act

Do you understand the power of kindness to change your life? "Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." Og Mandino, 1923-1996, Author

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,551 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Overweight and Miserable

________________________________________ Are you tired of being overweight and food addicted? There is a way to heal. ________________________________________ Pamela writes this question for my webinar on food addiction:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,551 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Letting Go Of A Sugar Addiction

Have you tried unsuccessfully to heal a sugar addiction? Here's how! Are you sugar addicted? You are not alone!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,543 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** "What's The Point of a Relationship?"

________________________________________ Do you sometimes have confusion regarding the value of a relationship? ________________________________________ Jeanine asked me the following question at one of my free webinars:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,537 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Art of Conversation

________________________________________ Do you have mostly one-way or two-way conversations? What kind of conversationalist are you? ________________________________________ What happens in your conversations with people? The kind of conversation you have with someone says a lot about both you and them. There are mainly two kinds of conversations: one-way conversations and two-way conversations. One-Way Conversations

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,535 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Where Did The Passion Go?

Do you love your partner but find that the intensity and intimacy have become muted? Discover why. Patti asked the following question in one of my webinars on sexuality:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,535 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***I'm Not Appreciated

________________________________________ Learn what you can do when you don't feel appreciated by your partner. ________________________________________ Chris wrote this question for one of my relationship webinars: "What do you do when you feel you are not loved for who you are? How do you accept your relationship when you don't feel appreciated, or you think it's your fault for what happens in your life? How can you change your relationship? How can you make it better?" There are two ways of dealing with this issue. Explore Within

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,534 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Healing From Infidelity

Infidelity is a huge challenge, but relationships can heal from this and actually become stronger. Sheldon wrote this question to me during one of my free webinars:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,533 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

*** Why Relationships Fail

________________________________________ Discover the major cause of relationship failure and what to do about it. ________________________________________ Most people, when asked if they want a loving relationship, will say that having a loving relationship is one of the two most important things to them – along with having work they love. Why, then, do so many relationships fail? If we want to go deeply into why relationships fail, we need to go all the way back to the parental relationship.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,529 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Art of Setting Boundaries

Discover what a boundary is and what it isn't. Merilee wrote the following question to me in one of my relationship webinars: "Hi Dr. Paul -- One of my biggest struggles is being open to giving and receiving love, but also setting boundaries. I want to be loving, not controlling, but I don't want people to say or treat me in ways that I don't like. How to reconcile?"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,520 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"How Can I Let Love In?"

Do you want to share love, but find yourself pulling away or pushing others away? Do you find yourself wanting love but being afraid to really open to it? This is the situatio Marley finds herself in:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,519 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"I Don't Know How To Give Her What She Wants From Me."

________________________________________ Do you sometimes feel like you try to give your partner the connection he or she wants and can't figure out how? ________________________________________

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,519 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Longing For Connection

Are you longing for connection? Discover what you need to do to create loving connection with another. Deeply connecting with another is one of the great joys of life, and is something most of us long for. Deep connection takes away loneliness and gives us the experience of being deeply known. We feel safe and loved when our hearts connect. Research indicates that the happiest people in the world are those who live in communities where they feel connected with each other.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,519 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Why We Take Things Personally

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. January 18, 2016 __________________________________________________________________ When others are mean or rejecting, do you tend to take their behavior personally? __________________________________________________________________ One of the biggest issues that many people struggle with is taking other people's behavior personally. Why do we do this? Lila asked:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,518 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Do You Experience Life As A Burden Or As A Sacred Privilege?

Learn how to embrace life as the sacred privilege it is rather than be stuck just getting through. Peter experiences life as a burden - a sentence to get through that is filled with suffering. Peter trudges through his life, experiencing little joy. He works hard, makes enough money to feel financially secure enough to take care of his family, and spends little time in connection with others. To Peter, life has no real purpose other than to make money and do the best he can to feel safe.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,514 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"I'm Not Important Enough To Want To Love Myself

Discover what to do if you are stuck not being able to love yourself. When you were growing up, did you feel important to your parents? Did they attend to you in loving ways to show you how important you were to them? Or, did you often feel like a bother or a burden to them? Did either of your parents or caregivers role-model loving themselves? Did your caregivers think they were important enough to truly value themselves and take loving care of themselves?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,513 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Standing Strong In Your Own Truth

________________________________________ Are you able to stand in your truth, or do you let others talk you out of what you know is right for you? ________________________________________ When the biblical floods hit Colorado on September 12th, I texted my daughter to see if they were okay. "We’re Ok, the house isn't." I called immediately. "There's a six foot wall of water in our back yard. The creek is a huge raging river!" she shouted, panicked. Six weeks prior, we had moved from Durango, to Berthoud, Colorado, into a huge house.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,511 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***The Circle of Love: The Highest Experience in Life

A circle of love is the result of people being together with open hearts, and is the most wonderful experience in life. Have you ever experienced a circle of love?

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,510 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***"How Can I Not Get Hurt By Others' Judgments?"

________________________________________ Do you have a misconception about what it means to be a strong and emotionally healthy person? ________________________________________ Do you have an expectation that if you were emotionally healthy, you would not feel hurt in the face of others' judgments or uncaring behavior? This is not true! Let me explain.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,504 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Are You Hiding?

Do you hide from your feelings when you are challenged by life? Or do you allow your feelings to overwhelm you? You CAN learn to manage them and learn from them. "The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles." ~ Be ard M. Baruch "How can I get this pain to go away?"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,503 views

By Margaret PaulRecently published1 topic

***Do You See Your Essence and The Essences of Your Children?

Do you really see your children? If you operate from core shame and cannot see the beauty of your own essence, your children will not feel seen by you. Yet they need to be seen by you to truly value themselves.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,499 views

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