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Browse published articles attributed to Noelle Nelson, with full-archive search.
You scrimp, you save. You wash dishes, mop floors, endlessly pick up dropped sweaters, backpacks, skateboards, CDs, dirty dishes. You help with homework, chauffeur regardless of how tired you are or how early/late/inconvenient it is. That’s on top of your 40-stretching-to-50 hour work week. Does ...
How do you see yourself? As a hero or a victim? In any given life circumstance, you can see yourself either way. I recently moved into my new home. As is often the case with a “new” home, that is to say new to me, although built in the mid 1960s, it has what is euphemistically referred to as a few “issues.” As in, I was scheduled to leave town for work first thing Friday morning, and Wednesday night, both toilets in my house ceased to function. This mattered greatly, as the
Ove ight you went from being a single rather cranky woman dateless for lo these many months to Miss Adored Sunshine of His Life in THE most amazing relationship you've every had. You've never felt so beautiful, so wanted, so loved. This is a fairy tale come true. He was wonderfully passionate, ...
The holidays can sometimes feel like one long list of obligations. You have to figure out which gifts to get for whom and how much you can afford to spend. You have to write holiday cards/notes/emails at least to some people, once again figuring out what to whom. You have to figure out which relatives/friends you have to entertain, spend time with, tolerate, try not to argue with. You have to travel at the worst possible time of year given weather, traffic jams and airport/t
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching--along with all the romance, roses and chocolate traditionally part of the day's celebration. But here’s the thing. Why should Valentine’s Day be reserved for romance alone? Why don't we celebrate love itself? A Canadian resident, Karri Carberry, 19, was introduced to a band called “Three Days Grace” by her Dad a number of years ago, a passion they happily shared. So when the band was scheduled to play in Edmonton, Alberta, she immediatel
You’ve had a rough day at work. You’re beat, all you want to do is go home and chill. You get to your car--only to see one of those horrible orange devices clamped to your rear wheel. You’re horrified! What’s this? Then you read the ticket neatly tucked under your windshield wiper. Your ...
Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men (well, everybody). It doesn’t matter what faith or denomination you espouse, Peace on Earth is the dominant theme of the season. Peace is a state of harmony among people, freedom from strife, a feeling of serenity and tranquility. Peace. How ...
“You’ve already asked me that, a hundred times!” your spouse snaps at you. “Well, you haven’t done it yet!” you retort. “Nag, nag, nag” your erstwhile beloved mutters under his breath. “What was that?” you demand. “Nothing, dear,” he says with heavy sarcasm on the dear, as he stomps out the door. You could scream. You know perfectly well that you nag at him, but what else can you do? You can’t get all the chores done yourself, and there are some things he’s in control of tha
It's been a miserable day. Nothing went right. You slept through your alarm because the neighbors kept you up half the night having either a wild argument or wild sex (hard to tell which), you were late to work on the one day when the client was showing up in person, your car sprang an oil leak, ...
How about if this Valentine’s Day you upped your game? What if, instead of--or in addition to-- focusing the intensity of your love on that one special person in your life, you turned the spotlight of your love onto your life! Your whole life, all of it, every aspect of it. If rather than complaining, dissing, blaming or criticizing your life, you embraced it wholeheartedly with all the love, hugs and kisses you lavish on that special someone? So granted, your work life isn’
Your new love is such a delight! What passion, what wonderful desire to be with you, only you, day and night, night and day! What a refreshing change from the last few men you’ve dated whose idea of commitment was dinner and a movie on Saturday night, maybe. Since that first blissful day you ...
You know exactly what you want for Valentine’s Day. You’ve dropped hints as in “Gosh, I’ve heard that new restaurant on Main is soooo romantic. I’d love to go there sometime” while batting your eyelashes. You’ve commented “Roses are so old-school. Tulips are my new fav – fantastic colors!” You’ve sighed over the designer bag in the window, squeezed his hand and said “Oh, that would go so well with my new outfit!” So where are you on Valentine’s Day? Freezing your tush off on
You're rooting through your closet for that perfect thing to wear. Maybe this, maybe that - no, not THAT! Your eye lights on a brand new pair of jeans - that you'd completely forgotten about. Perfect! Then you remember why they were bought and then forgotten. You purchased them when you were on ...
You just got used to the upgraded software your company insisted all departments use even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with the old software when--ding! New email, new directive--time to jettison the upgraded software in favor of a completely new system you have to learn from ...
We all know that just as there are words which uplift and enthrall us, there are words which can hurt and demean us. But did you know that there is one four-letter word that actually kills?! No, it’s not that four-letter word, it’s the word “can’t.” The word “can’t” kills dreams, hopes, aspirations, opportunities, love – the list goes on. “Can’t” puts a stop, a halt, an immediate end to all effort, to all forward movement. “I can’t do that.” “I can’t go there.” “I can’t attr
A friend of mine broke her upper arm recently. Considering she’s a massage therapist who’s been out of work on and off all year due to COVID, plus having a hastily re-organized virtual wedding as opposed to the long planned-for wedding of her dreams, along with the death of her beloved grandmother, this was just one more “yikes” she has had to deal with. She feels like she’s been tossed around like a rag doll by events. Nothing like the calm, ordered, happy life she’s experie
You love your family dearly, but right now, they are driving you positively buggy. You’re waging the battle of the belly-button/nose/tongue piercings with your teenage daughter, your husband is jammed with deadlines at work and can’t help out with chores; your five-year-old has a persistent case ...
You glare at the Toad-on-The-Couch your man has become. You’ve been subtle – “suggested” and hinted and sighed loudly - only to progress to complaining, nagging, fuming and yelling when subtlety doesn’t shove him off the couch and into doing what needs doing. Not that your complaining-nagging-fuming-yelling works all that well either. What, oh what, ever happened to the guy who used to pitch in willingly with whatever tasks were at hand, that Prince of a guy who couldn’t wai
LOVE THINE ENEMY (%^&*$?!!!) You hate your supervisor. There – you finally said it. You’ve been pussy-footing around it (and her) for long enough now. That’s it, you’ve had it! Let the truth be told – you hate your supervisor. Your reflection in the mirror scowls back at you. You sigh, ...
You look ahead to the New Year, and you’re scared. There, you’ve said it. It’s out in the open, you’re scared. Your situation has never looked this bleak. Sure, you still have your job, but in this economy, for how long? Raises and promotions are out of the question (forget about a bonus) and ...
Some of you may remember who Betty Crocker was. For those of you who don’t, Betty Crocker was a fictional character, created in the 1920s to give a friendly face to cooking and baking products. She was a cultural icon right through the mid-90s. To many over the decades, she represented kindness and goodness personified. A dear friend of mine’s dad was an exec with General Mills, which owned the Betty Crocker name and likeness. He had a company portrait of “Ms. Crocker” on hi
My resolution for the New Year is actually very simple: The 20 Minute Rule. It means I no longer allow myself to worry over anything for more tha 20 minutes. Anything. Not the state of my health, finances, relationships, the world – anything. Why should this rank as a valid resolution? Well, because too often whatever the worry is can all too easily morph into a perfectly awful, depressing, miserable whole day. I have done that more than once, and it never made the worrisome
Our world is riddled with fear and anxiety. Finances. Aargh! How will we pay the rent/mortgage or have money to pay for food when we're out of work? We're lonely and miss the times when we could be with our friends and family. If we have kids, we agonize over what kind of impact the lockdown is having on them, and if we’ll survive home-schooling and 24/7/365 childcare. And then there’s the very real possibility that we or our loved ones might come down with the virus. When o
You went on another job interview today. It went OK, you guess. Nothing really dramatic happened. Your qualifications were right for the job, you'd brushed up on the latest "What to say when they ask you what your greatest strength/weakness is" and you felt you answered appropriately. But you ...
A dear friend was lamenting the state of the world these days, and indeed, the wars, shootings, political and legal wrangles are disturbing to those who want peace and prosperity for all. In addition to the natural disasters which seem constant: fires, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes. And yet, and yet . . . For every negative media blast there is somewhere on the planet a positive situation or event. An Uber driver sacrificing his day’s work (which he dearly needed) to help
You had a great time over the holidays. Your favorite relatives came to town, your holiday dinner was a resounding success (even the roast was Rachael Ray perfect!), your boss gave you a really nice bonus and a couple of extra days off, you didn’t spill eggnog on your party outfit, not once, and ...
As you sit there in traffic, along with the gazillion other commuters all jammed together in motorized steel boxes grinding their way to work, you daydream. Wouldn’t it be nice, you think, if weekends were 5 days long and the work week was 2 days long. I mean, whoever came up with this ...
Ah, the holidays! Such a wonderful time of good cheer, peace among men, women, children and relatives--you wish! You planned ahead this year--none of that last second holiday rush for you. You requested Friday afte oon off months ago so you could attend your eight-year-old’s stellar debut as a ...
You’ve got your work down to a system. You’ve been doing it long enough so that you know what to do, how to do it, and get your assigned tasks and duties done well (for the most part) and on time (for the most part), regardless of whether you’re assigning your “to-dos” to yourself or you have a boss who does that. You get that cost-of-living increase most years, or your customer base grows a little every year, so all should be well. Yet you’re plagued by an undercurrent of d
In a recent interview, actress Candice Bergen spoke about how her beauty, and the way others react to it, challenged her self-development, as no one seemed to care much about what she thought or her opinions. They were too bedazzled by her face. I can relate. Candice was one year ahead of me at the all-girls high school we both attended, and believe me, even then her beauty “dazzled.” She was beautiful at an age where others were gawky, pimply, and graceless. She carried her
“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy. It was one thing to engage our patience and try to make the best of our altered way of life during the first months of the pandemic, but it’s another now that we realize that the end is not in sight and that we don’t know h
You throw the credit card bill in the middle of the kitchen table with a victorious flourish. Ta-da! You were right. He’s the one who maxed out the card. He’s the one who spent needless dollars on some foolish whats-it that wasn’t in the budget. He’s the one who puts his selfish needs above the good of the family. HE…well, HE walked out of the room. Fine, who cares. You gloat happily. Or She’s the one who drank all the OJ and didn’t replace it. She’s the one who can’t load a
You’ve had your eye on that promotion for some time now. You’re bound and determined to get out of your office worker status into a supervisory position you’re certain you’re well suited for-- but apparently no one else is convinced. You watch others from your work group move on, out and up, and ...
You stare at the digital read-out on your scale, unbelieving. 10 pounds?! How could you possibly have gained 10 pounds? You eat like a bird! Nothing but fruits and nuts and veggies. Of course there was that pasta dish the other night. And the irresistible danish at work. And the simply sublime butter sauce on the . . . OK, all right. So you’re eating more than just fruits and nuts and veggies. But 10 pounds?! You swear yourself into your too-tight gym clothes, force yourself
You’re going along hunky-dory through your day. You’ve had the occasional work-challenge: a co-worker who was late with their side of things, so you had to scramble. Your boss laid an unexpected deadline on you – yikes! - but you rose to the occasion and handled the situation with a good attitude. And you were quite forgiving when the dry-cleaners mixed up your clothes with someone else’s batch, and had to wait, twiddling your thumbs (cell battery dead, phooey),while they so
My best friend and I had a vigorous discussion recently about the relative merits of process versus results. She was extolling the virtues of process and processing, and I was nattering on about “results, results, results.” Yet the obvious conclusion at the end of our conversation, was that both are necessary and valuable. Without process/processing, there is no valid result. Without a result in mind, process/processing is so much mental-meandering. Which got me thinking in
“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy. It was one thing to engage our patience and try to make the best of our altered way of life during the first months of the pandemic, but it’s another now that we realize that the end is not in sight and that we don’t know h
Lunch at a restaurant! With a friend, live and in person! A restaurant with indoor seating, no masks required for the vaccinated. OMG, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. After the long year of home-cooking (not much variety there), take-out (fun from time to time, not all the time), and lusting in front of Food Network re-runs, the trip to the restaurant was more than a welcome event. It was Nirvana. As my friend and I lovingly perused the menu, comparison-shopping the p
Just when you thought things were going to get better, the pandemic surged, causing yet again a slew of restrictions right in time for the Holidays. No, really?! It feels like 2020 can’t find its joy, not even a tiny sparkle of happiness, nothing to light up the Holidays. No family get-togethers, endless Zoom encounters, restless/moody children and no weekend escapes somewhere maskless and free. Which leaves many of us depressed, lonely, getting crankier by the day, and wond
The ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound is hardly useful these days, given the wonders of CGI. And yes, invisibility might still be useful, but what if you forgot how to be visible again? Far better is to look inward for your superpower, not outward. To your truth, to what serves your life best, not to what others may think (or not think) of it. Mine is diligence. Dog with a bone. Tenacity. A commitment to doing the best I can, with what I’ve got, from where I a
My morning was supposed to be devoted to writing a report for one of the trial atto eys I consult for. The work takes concentration and focus, as my conclusions influence how the case is developed. It’s important, it matters, I need to do it well. But “life” was having none of it . . . The dogs barked at everything – leaves falling, squirrels romping, the neighbor’s construction project. My cell dinged repeatedly with texts that needed responses, emails marked “urgent” lande
It’s easy to wonder about the future of our nation, or even the world, when we observe younger people engaged with their devices 24/7, seemingly uninterested in anything but the latest “trending” or selfie. How will future generations thrive given what seems to many as their selfish attitude of entitlement, wanting all the perks and rewards without having to exert any particular effort, much less actual work? And yet . . .just this year, in the midst of the pandemic, a 26 ye
So often, it seems like the world presses against us, day in and day out. Work duties, family obligations, endless chores, finances, on and on. Who has time for anything as frivolous as deliberately “finding happiness”? Much less “living your joy.” Like, when? How? And why would it even matter when getting through the day in one piece seems like “joy” enough. It matters a lot. The science is unequivocal. Happy people are healthier. Happy people cope with stress better. Peopl
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the food, the few waiters, and how long it took to get their order. Meanwhile, the other person was saying: “Gosh, I don’t know. I liked the variety of the menu and the friendliness of the service. I didn’t pay attention to much of anything else.” Dang. Talk about a difference in perspective! It occurred to me that perspective is really what oft
Nobody likes to be told they are wrong. We all believe, in our hearts of hearts, that we are right, no matter how logically misguided we may be. So why do we so often voice an objection to something our partner, friend or co-worker says with an immediate: “You’re wrong!” Often followed up by, “So wrong.” And then wonder why they turn away in disgust or dismay, or launch into defensive mode that quickly degenerates into an argument. But what if, rather than assume they are wr
I came across a quote recently by Alan Cohen I think is pure genius: “When you reframe problems as projects, they will cease to bother you and begin to stimulate you.” Pure genius for me, anyway, as it put my recent experience with a badly strained hamstring in perfect perspective. There I was, on the ballroom dance competition floor, in full “Country two-step” mode (yes, Country is part of ballroom dancing!), when my right foot slipped on the very slick floor, my right leg
I was having a pity party the day before a Ballroom Dance Competition. It was hot, I was tired, my legs were sore, we hadn’t rehearsed enough, I’d never remember all my steps, and on and on. I was being such a grump even my dogs were avoiding me. Fine. I can take a hint. I settled on the couch and looked through some good-feel websites, hoping to get myself in a better place. I did more than that. I found a sensational source of positive inspiration, in the person of Dr. Jos
To say it’s been a strange year is an understatement. Even stranger than last year, because most of us expected that 2021 would see an end to the global pandemic and political unrest. Not! So here we are, still in the world-wide chaos of COVID and politics, wondering what new disaster will befall us in 2022. Yikes! But here’s the thing: what are we setting ourselves up for? If indeed, like attracts like, if what you think and feel brings more of the same to you, what are we
I learned an amazing new technique from my massage therapist Tammy recently. No, not yet another way of ironing out my body ‘kinks,’ although she is pure genius when it comes to that. On the contrary, this had nothing to do with massage, and everything to do with life. Ready? Here goes. Observing her dog one day, Tammy realized the profound significance of a singular command: “Drop it.” Her cute pooch immediately dropped whatever forbidden thing said puppy held tightly in it
The great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. The not-so-great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. Which we often abandon within a month or so. We then feel guilty or bad about ourselves for not being able to stick with whatever it was. But what if you took a different tack? What if, instead of – or in addition to – your usual New Year’s resolutions, you took a look at what of yourself you are bringing to this party called 2023? Not fo