Browse published articles attributed to Ronald Ross, with full-archive search.
Learn the Laws of the Farmer By Dr. Ron Ross Over one hundred years ago my grandfather homesteaded on a quarter section of land near Deer Trail, Colorado. On his treeless high-prairie land about 50 miles east of Denver he built a sod hut for him and his horse, then planted a crop of pinto beans and awaited his first harvest.
By Ron Ross jack-s-drive-i Jack’s Drive-Inn in Council Bluffs, Iowa in 1958 was not anything like the fancy diners and ice cream stores we now have. It was a large added on section of a house that stuck out into a parking lot that could hold not more than four or five cars. Jack made hamburgers, French fries and perhaps the world’s best malted milk. On a hot, muggy afte oon not far from the Missouri River there was nothing better than a malted milk at Jack’s Drive-Inn.
A New Series Begins! By Dr. Ron Ross My mother nearly killed me during the summer before I entered the first grade. I really hadn’t done anything terribly wrong except to play in the back yard. Well maybe I did a little wrong – I played in the part of the back yard that Dad had just tilled so Mom could plant a garden. The problem was not that the area was tilled; it was that it had rained all morning and the tilled section was a large area of some really gooey mud that looked to this little boy like a great place to play.
Would you like a simple definition of priorities? Here it is: The things that matter most. That may be far too simple a definition for a time management expert, but many books, blogs, songs and poems use that definition.
The troubled marriage, parents who want their child to change, good people who want a good job, middle-class families who have too much month left at the end of their money, and seniors who worry about outliving their welcome and/or suffering some debilitating disease—they all want something to change. A couple of thousand years ago, a few people had their lives changed by a little baby born in an obscure village called Bethlehem. When they encountered that baby boy, it changed their lives in ways they could never have imagined. He can change your life, too.
“I’m just the bastard son of an L.A. whore.” The comment startled me as I conversed with a handsome gentleman before church began. His definition of himself makes clear my assertion that how you define yourself makes a difference. The easiest way adults define themselves is by their profession or trade. “I’m a truck driver,” or “I’m a dentist,” or “I’m a housewife,” or “I’m just a lowly clerk.” Another way people define themselves is by their physical characteristics: color of skin, height, weight, hair color, age, etc.
“Everyone in your family is a _________.” Cultural/social differences “Ron, would you like to knock me up?” a rather shy single female British schoolteacher asked me one afte oon. I was puzzled by her request but sat quietly for a few moments until I figured out what she meant, and it wasn’t what you thought it was.
Question 1: Which is easier to accomplish: to make the world adjust to my particular needs or for me to adjust to the world as it is today? Singer/songwriter Lauryn Hill wrote, “That strong mother doesn’t tell her cub, Son, stay weak so the wolves can get you. She says, Toughen up, this is reality we are living in.”* The very first question you need to ask yourself when thinking about your own personal success has to do with the reality you are living in.
Last week I began listing the Top Ten Most Common Excuses for NOT Talking to Your Mate. Here is a brief review of Excuses 10 – 6: Excuse # 10: The Smartphone. A text or phone call is allowed to interrupt anything. Excuse # 9: The job. For some, the dirty little secret is that one partner is happier at the office than at home so he or she seeks out projects to keep them at work. Excuse # 8: Exercise. Health is a good-enough excuse to avoid the difficult issues that arise between people who love each other.
By Ron Ross Anger can be expressed in six common ways. Five of them do not work well. Those five are BLOW OUT, STRIKE OUT, FAKE OUT, SNUFF OUT, and PULL OUT. Read about them at RonRossToday.com The best way to deal with anger is to learn how to effectively SPEAK OUT your anger without shouting, cursing, complaining, hiding, punching, seething, or running. Using S-P-E-A-K as an acrostic, here are my suggestions for the appropriate expression of anger. S - SUPERVISE. SUPERVISE YOURSELF FIRST.
Eliminate the Twin Killers of Success Part 1 By Dr. Ron Ross Many worthy goals, promising relationships, and terrific business ideas are ruined by the Twin Killers of Success: speed and greed. This week the focus is on speed (impatience), next week on greed. A cute little girl in “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” wanted a golden goose and she did not want to wait for it. She danced with gusto and sang with furor, “I want it now!” Her song and attitude represents the thoughts and feelings of many people in our world today.
There are an increasing number of people who think Washington DC has all the resources and all the wisdom necessary to solve their daily personal problems. This kind of thinking is music to the ears of professional politicians and government bureaucrats because they want as many people as possible to be dependent on them. It gives them power and assures their reelection.
Don’t Trust Dumb Luck By Dr. Ron Ross Are you lucky or unlucky? Do good things usually happen to you or are you a constant victim of trials and tribulations? Do you get the good breaks or are you always broke? If you want to be lucky then you might be interested to know that both lucky and unlucky people manifest certain characteristics. Lucky people pay attention to what is going on around them and stand ready to take advantage of situations as they happen. Unlucky people are narrowly focused and quickly lose concentration on anything really important.
Self-talk, whether positive or negative, is your inner voice that says things you seldom speak out loud. How you talk to yourself determines the kind of person you are becoming. The good news and the bad news about self-talk is that what you say is what you get. Speak critically to yourself and you will think badly about yourself. Speak graciously to yourself and you will think kindly about yourself. Your words will either bless or curse you and only you can control them. Here are your choices -r
Get Better At Something By Dr. Ron Ross A man who worked in a rock quarry for several years one day decided to become an atto ey. He talked to his wife and kids about his dream to get away from the dirty, backbreaking work in the quarry and get a college education. They got behind the idea and helped him with his schedule and studies so he could take night courses at a local university. A few years later he walked out of the rock quarry for the last time and entered the courtroom as a practicing atto ey.
Confidence does not come easy. Fear does, disappointment does, anger does, failure does; each with little or no effort. But confidence, courage, composure, or conquest does not. If it did, more people would display it in their daily lives. Because it takes effort, because it takes risk, because it takes guts to dig down deep within the soul to mine the very best you have to offer, very few ever feel or act poised and able to assert themselves.
Quitting seems to be a way of life for so many people. How many teenagers do you know who quit school a few months before graduation? Look up and down your street – how many divorced people live around you? Did you ever get so mad at your boss that you walked off the job? What’s with all the quitting? You’ve heard the old saw, “Quitters never win and winners never quit,” but does it always apply? Sometimes we MUST quit. Sometimes we have no choice.
Make a List of Ten By Dr. Ron Ross Getting something done usually starts with a list. Wives make “honey-do-lists” for their husbands and “to-do” lists are a staple on every busy person’s desktop. Before you leave on your vacation you make a list of everything you want to take with you and a list of all the things you want to do while you’re away. Several weeks before Christmas comes you will make a list of the gifts you need to buy.
By Ron Ross My neighbor came charging across the street. His eyes bulged out and his fists were clenched as he came screaming into my yard, “Why the ____ did you call the cops on me?” “Because you cannot keep you dogs from barking and the entire neighborhood is fed up with it,” I said in as quiet a voice as I could, hoping to calm him down. It did not work. He kept yelling at me and threatening my life. The guy had anger fever and the temperature was not going down.
Live With Purpose By Dr. Ron Ross Who am I and why am I here? Those are the two most important questions you can ask yourself. Question 1: Who am I? Some say you’re the product of a bit of slime that squirmed its way out of some prehistoric bog and evolved from this to that, then to something else until one day, some fifty-million years later, “YOU” appeared. That’s the good news. The bad news is that after fifty-million years of evolution, you are allowed only seven or eight wearying decades until someone sticks you back into the bog you allegedly came from. What a deal!
People without purpose are not living they are only existing. They are like a rudderless ship on a vast ocean driven hither and yon by the winds and tides. They wonder what the heck happened in the past while they wander aimlessly into the future. On the other hand, people with a purpose are established, focused and useful. Author and management expert Gary Hamel wrote, “A noble purpose inspires sacrifice, stimulates innovation and encourages perseverance.”
For weeks now I have been writing about anger and how it can destroy your relationships. To help you deal with your anger by speaking out using appropriate words and communication techniques I have developed an acrostic from the word S-P-E-A-K. The acrostic looks like this: S - Supervise yourself first. P – Ponder appropriate responses E – Explain how you feel A – Apply listening skills And last, K - KNOW HOW FAR TO GO AND WHEN TO STOP. This is a matter of wisdom and experience.
Now that you have discovered and refined your purpose for living it is time to prepare for action. This is an important step. Do not deceive yourself that just because you have defined your purpose for living that everything from now on will be downhill.
Think About What You Think About By Dr. Ron Ross The trip to Santa Monica (Califo ia) Beach was supposed to be fun; but for this six-year-old boy from Colorado, it was not. I had never seen an ocean, did not know how to swim, and after I waded a few steps into the gentle waves discovered I never wanted to go there again.
The first powered airplane took flight on December 17, 1903 on a wind-swept beach in North Carolina. Bicycle shop owner brothers Orville and Wilber Wright had long been testing theories of powered flight and on this day, their hard work paid off. Orville piloted the first flight that lasted only 12 seconds and covered a mere 130 feet, but their theory was proven. Powered flight was possible. Their success gave them the courage to take three more flights that day.
What makes one person confident and another one insecure? Money makes some people think they are invincible. The idea is, the more money they have the more secure their life is. Remember Be ard Madoff? He "managed" millions of dollars for thousands of people who put their trust in money. When his elaborate Ponzi scheme was uncovered in 2008, he, and all of his investors lost it all.
She: “You hang up first.” He: “No, you hang up first!” She: “No, YOU hang up first.” If you are over 50 years old you might remember that little game teenagers played back in the 50s, 60s and 70s. A boyfriend would call his girlfriend, then after 45 minutes or maybe a couple of hours on the phone, one of their mothers would chide them into hanging up, and the game would begin. Back then parents got upset about the unending phone conversations, but no parent worried that their teenager was lonely because he or she spent too much time on the phone.
Success is not an accident. It takes planning, effort and discipline. One way for you to seek your own personal success is to ask the right questions. When you ask the right questions you have a better chance to get the right answers. The kinds of questions I refer to are not mathematical equations or esoteric inquiries about the origin of the universe. I’m referring to questions about how you live your daily life. About what you think about, how you view your life, how you think and speak about yourself and your situation.
What is your definition of success? There is nothing more personal than the definition of success. Quite honestly, the dictionary definition is inadequate, and though your mother’s opinion is probably still important, only you can define success for you! And that definition can change literally from day to day and even moment to moment. If you’re broke, success equals wealth. If you’re sick, success equals health. If you’re lonely, success equals friendship. If you’re homeless, success equals a place to live. If you’re lost, success equals being found.
The innkeeper was changed from apathy to sympathy You probably know the story of the birth of Jesus, especially the part where “there was no place for them in the inn.” Though the Bible does not speak of an innkeeper, there must have been one. Someone had to tell Joseph the inn was full and then grant him permission to stay in the stable. The innkeeper had problems of his own and a business to run. His motel was full, the “no vacancy” sign was lit and he was tired. He was not conce ed with Joseph’s very pregnant wife.
Conversational Manners By Ron Ross Good conversations are fun to be a part of – unless someone is rude. Bad manners in conversation will stifle communication and short-circuit camaraderie. Here are a few simple guidelines for mutually satisfying conversations:
Impolite Children By Ron Ross The child sitting down the row from me in a dark movie theater needed to go to the bathroom. As he passed me in the darkness he stepped on my toe. He did the same thing on his way back. He never said, “Excuse me” or “I’m sorry!” He acted as if I was the problem because I was in his way. Why are so many children unruly and ill-mannered in public? I have the answer: Because the adults who are supposed to teach their children how to be polite have not taught them. Here are four possible reasons why parents fail to teach their children good manners.
“9 Self-assuring Affirmations for When You Need a Little Boost,” boasted the headline. I clicked on it hoping I might learn something new. I didn’t. It was a series of nine little pictures with clever sayings on them. The “writer” provided no content beyond a short introductory paragraph that ended with this: “If you’re looking for a little encouragement, check out the self-assuring affirmations below. Then take on the world with the knowledge that you’re capable of anything.”
Begin Now By Ron Ross The easiest thing you can do if you’re stuck in the mud is to PROCRASTINATE! Do nothing. Just sit there and wallow in the sticky, putrid, dreary muck you have been comfortable in for years. After I earned my 4-year bachelor’s degree I wanted to get a master’s degree. My excuse for not taking classes was that I had a wife and three kids, a full time job, a part time business, and I was active in several community organizations. Besides that I had no extra money for tuition and books. I had plenty of excuses to procrastinate.
Fail Forward By Dr. Ron Ross You may be stuck in the mud because of some kind of failure. Perhaps you bet the family farm on a business idea and lost. Or maybe you lost an important client or you were recently fired from a good job. Maybe you have failed in a relationship that has you feeling the blues. Well join the human race! We have all failed at something sometime in our lives. Many have failed frequently. The real question is: which way did you fail, backwards or forwards?
Futilism believes that life is meaningless, all religious beliefs are fantasies, and moral principles are pointless. Like nihilists, futilists allege that you have no particular purpose for living because life itself is empty, trivial, and spurious. It is literally a dead-end philosophy – life is futile, and death is the end. Your few decades on planet earth are unimportant, and your actions are inconsequential; therefore, it is useless to try anything significant because you are insignificant.
Twenty Tips for Lively Living By Dr. Ron Ross Tips 1 – 10 were previously printed; here are tips 11 – 20. Be sure to read the special offer at the end of the column. 11. Persevere. Difficulties are sure to come, some failure is likely, but anything worth having is worth working for. As you journey through life sing the song, “Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow ‘til you find your dream.”
Flipping through the channels the other day I stopped briefly to watch a tattoo-covered “artist” rap about abusing women and hating cops while he grabbed his genitals to the fast beat of loud noise pretending to be music. His appearance was disgusting, the lyrics depraved, and his music was awful, but that’s not what upset me. What activated my indignation was what was hanging around the guy’s neck – a great big gold cross. Nothing the so-called artist said or did had anything to do with the meaning of this most sacred symbol of Christianity.
Google "self-confidence" and you will get three-bazillion web pages that suggest a variety of ways for you to gain self-confidence. Some promise instant self-confidence if you do this or act like that.
Ingratitude By Ron Ross Kids are ungrateful because that is how they were raised. At birth, if they were hungry, all they had to do was scream until their mother fed them. The baby had no concept of what the mother just went through to bring the child to full term and give birth, then start caring for his/her every need even before her contractions ceased. The baby wasn’t grateful for the feeding even though a quiet sleep followed.
How would you like to have a 5000+ percent advantage over everyone else? Steven Covey in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People tells you how: “The difference between people who exercise initiative and those who don’t is literally the difference between night and day. I’m not talking about a 25 to 50 percent difference in effectiveness; I’m talking about a 5000-plus percent difference, particularly if they are smart, aware, and sensitive to others.”
The airport departure lounge was crowded with family and friends bidding us farewell for a 3+ year commitment in Central Africa. I was only 25-years-old and had a wife and two children, had never travelled internationally and had little idea of what to expect upon our arrival in Africa. In short, I was scared. Before we boarded our plane our parents and friends gathered in a circle to pray for us. As we walked toward our gate they formed a line so we could give them each a farewell hug. My father was the last person in line.
Who am I, and, why am I here? Those are the two most important questions you can ask yourself. Let’s answer question 1, “Who am I?” Some say you’re the product of a bit of slime that squirmed its way out of some prehistoric bog and evolved from this to that, then to something else until one day, some fifty-million years later, “YOU” appeared. That’s the good news. The bad news is that after fifty-million years of evolution you’re given only a stingy seven or eight wearisome decades until they stick you back into the bog you allegedly came from? What a deal!
“My gosh you guys are twins!” declared a young lady who entered a retail store as my brother and I walked out. To be honest, I had never thought my brother was that good looking, but who was I to argue with the absolutely unsolicited and unbiased opinion of a rather lovely young lady?
Cynicism is the presumption that no one or anything should ever be trusted. Cynics suffer a gloomy outlook and a sarcastic tongue; they are the opposite of cheerfulness and respect. A cynical person is filled with bitte ess, speaks with malice, and suspects even the most honorable people. It comes from a suspicion that the future is bleak and everyone around you acts only out of self-interest. In short, cynicism is a perpetually distrustful attitude.
To answer the question, “Who am I” requires you ask, “Where did I come from?” Many try to answer that question with a genealogical search. That only answers part of the question. A genealogical search may teach you about your ancestors but it does not tell you anything about your origin.
The wise men were changed from wanderers to worshippers. For the record, the wise men did not come to the manger, as is usually depicted in Christmas pageants, but the Bible does say that some time after the birth, they came to the home of Jesus. Their visit is a part of the birth of Jesus, so it is properly told and re-told during the Christmas season.
Barbra Streisand sang in her portrayal of Fanny Bryce in Funny Girl? “People who like people are the luckiest people in the world.” Notice she did not sing, “People who are liked by other people are the luckiest people in the world.” Yet that is what many lonely people think. Barbra’s lesson is: You must like people first then they will like you. There are five realities of loneliness that every lonely person must come to terms with, and there are five actions you can take to overcome it. The Five Realities of Loneliness
Loneliness ends when friendship begins, right? So, how do you go from all alone to all the friends you want and need? The solution, though not quick and easy, begins with you, within your own heart and mind. Here are five steps you must take to enter the friendship zone and create and maintain as many real friendships as you desire:
You pray, not because you are a wimpy, helpless, crybaby who is so insecure you think you must depend on some invisible power in the sky to get you through the day. No, you pray because you have, or at least you desire, a personal relationship with God. You believe God lives and he is interested in your life. But more than that, you are convinced God wants a close relationship with you because he created you and he loves you.