Dear Dr. Romance: His mother was an alcoholic and a toxic bitch
Dear Dr. Romance:
Primary topic: Relationship Advice
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Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: What causes one to constantly sabotage oneself? Why would someone constantly put up their own roadblocks? Dear Reader:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a single mother suffering in depression and stress.
I have written in this column recently about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can "wash" your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?
Why do relationship counselors, speakers and authors say repeatedly that your relationship depends on how well you communicate with each other? Because marriage is a partnership and to create teamwork, you need to keep each other informed, and keep yourself aware of your partner’s ideas, wants and reactions. We all know a lot these days about the techniques of communication, but I find that many of my clients don’t understand the necessary attitudes to create domestic happiness. The following guidelines are adapted from my two newest books, coming out in 2008. The Sweetness Factorr
"Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path," writes oncologist Dr. Be ie Siegel in Peace, Love and Healing, your 'job on earth.' This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, that says, 'This is your path, this is how you can be the best human being possible.' If you follow it, you will achieve your full growth and full potential as a human being before you let go of the Tree of Life..."
Dr. Romance’s 3 tips to finding true love:
Dr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or your pet did) or talking about the funny scene in the latest hit movie will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse and generally help you release a lot of stress.
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm hoping you can offer some advice. I recently fell in love with a guy going through a divorce. We weren't together for ages but I feel like it was. He was separated About 10 months when we started dating and he had confessed to having a crush on me for a really long time.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance I am mindful that I am allowing my soon to be controlling, narcissist ex ( civil law atto ey) to run circles around me, just as we did when we were married. After attending a divorce group session at my local church, they recommend that I set up some specific boundaries and rules of engagement with him. He texts me hours a day, while I'm trying to work. Do you have anything in your arsenal to send me to get this jumpstarted?
Dear Dr. Romance
Dr Romance writes: Everyone is relieved when the holidays are over, and sometimes disappointed. If you're worn out, it's worth your while to take the time to recharge a little, and pamper yourself. Here are some hints:
Dear Dr. Romance: What suggestions can you offer for guests at funerals in regards to comforting families in morning? Thanks! Dear Reader: Your presence at the memorial or funeral, honoring their loved one who passed, is the most comfort, so go if you can.
Dear Dr. Romance I really admire how you advise people, please help me too. I'm married and I love my husband very much, but I love somebody else so much I don't know why although people say you can't love 2 people at the same time but I do. coz I love him very much and am jealous with him. He is a married man also and he loves me too.more than his wife. Please tell me what to do coz am confused. Dear Reader:
There are some common mistakes couples make when asking for what they want in a relationship. Here are some things that may be keeping you from achieving success with your spouse. They are the most common mistakes you can make when trying to ask for what you want when you're struggling to make your marriage work. 1. Exaggerate your want.
Dr. Romance writes: As a parade went by, one of the horses pulling a float entry left a memento in the middle of the road right in front of where we were watching from the sidewalk. From that point on, every band or group that came marching down the road marched bravely on, right through the pile of horse manure. The image struck a chord in me, one that the band was not intentionally playing.
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation, or infrastructure, of clear thinking, problem solving, and mutual support. Any willing couple can learn to build a happy relationship, if they stop reacting and learn to respond thoughtfully. As an individual you have ideas and beliefs about how certain things in life should be handled, and so does your partner; and we all tend to assume everyone, especially a person who loves us, will see it our way.
In my counseling practice, couples are often surprised to learn they can communicate and solve problems effectively without fighting; but sometimes you may find it's not so easy to give up your struggles. You may have trouble letting go of the fighting habit because of two factors: social expectations (expectations the people around you have about marriage) and myths (common beliefs not based on fact.) Myths and Expectations about Fighting
Dear Dr. Romance: My wife and I have been married for 5 years. We got married quickly - after only 9 months due to a couple of reasons. We have been fighting fairly regularly for several years -- and I think it comes down to us not having much in common - which I ultimately resent her for, me losing my job and career, some health problems I have had, and the fact that she is foreign and we seem to have different sensibilities.
Dr Romance’s Happiness Tips Alone on Valentine’s Day? There's no need to mope around. Having a plan that makes you happy is the best way to fend off the blues. Gather your best friends around you and make some special plans to have a wonderful day. Send valentines or personal notes to everyone who means a lot to you. Or, create and celebrate Volunteer Day and use your energy and resources on behalf of people who need your help.
One of the most powerful ways I found to stop being a doormat in relationships was to learn emotional self-control. When you're too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem.
Number 7 Might Shock You
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
4 Real Ways To Make It Work Are you a stepparent? Are you struggling to make the right decisions for your newly created family? If so, here are four tips to help. 1. Give your blended family a chance to bond. Don’t worry if everyone doesn’t settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each other before you moved in together, but the transition to living comfortably together can take time. 2. Have family meetings weekly.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Thirty years of marriage counseling and twenty-five years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to disagree, but they don't need to squabble, argue, bicker or fight. Fights are dramatic, which is not helpful to a discussion. If you have enough energy to create drama, you have more than enough to tone it down into a discussion.
At the end of a client-packed day, the trash can in my office is often overflowing with used tissues. Richard, seeing this, usually comments; "Good day, huh?" and we both laugh. He knows that, when clients cry, they're usually breaking through and healing something. I've been known to joke with clients that I'd like to create a "crying spa:" a gorgeous resort with boxes of the finest tissues everywhere, even towels, which are great for a really good cry.
You're divorced and ready to look for a new love. Here are three tips to help you as you search for a new partner in life. 1. Know the difference between fooling around and building a real relationship.
A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.
If you're thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. • If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably not survive. • If you've done it before, and you know you can keep your feelings in check, you might be successful, but what about your friend? Are you sure he or she is aware of his or her own feelings and motives?
Dear Dr. Romance: Nine months ago, I met a girl on Facebook. my words about many subject attract her , then she add me as her friends, and I discovered that she is lesbian. Before that, I didn'tknow there was lesbian world but when we chat I get to know her very well, many walls fell, and I am only one who sees thru this wall. She fell in love with me and she joined the school because of me and her life change.
Number Seven May Be A Little Shocking Dr. Romance’s three tips to maintaining sanity during divorce. According to results from a recent GfK Roper poll, more than 80 percent of divorced Americans still believe in marriage, but we all know more than half of marriages don’t make it, for various reasons.
Dr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?
Dear Dr. Romance:
Dear Dr. Romance:
Oprah Winfrey opened her school in South Africa in January, and was both praised and criticized. The criticism was that she was spending too much money on too few girls, because her school was lavish, free, and could only accommodate less than 200 girls. Aside from the fact that Oprah is entitled to spend her money any way she sees fit, I think it is a worthwhile enterprise, and that the people who criticize her are short-sighted.
Dear Dr. Romance:
Happy New Year, everyone! This is the time when a lot of energy is spent on making resolutions, most of which we don’t manage to keep. So, this year, I propose a different kind of resolution. Will you join me in resolving to create a year of peace?
Ah, love! What rapturous, torturous words have been set down to try and capture the essence of love. Those clever Greeks, who invented the Olympics, also invented many names for love—Cupid, Eros, Venus, Aphrodite—and each name represented an aspect of love. The ancient Greeks had several words for several categories of love—they did not attempt to squeeze all of it into four little letters! Eros was erotic, or sexual love; Philos was brotherly love; Agape was altruistic, spiritual love. The Latin poet Ovid spoke of amor ludens, or playful love—love as a game.
Dr. Romance on spreading kindness Spreading kindness is the best way I know to be happy. If you want to spread kindness around, here are some ideas: *Kindness begins on the inside – learn to be as kind in talking to yourself as you are to others – then, keep improving. Self-talk sets the bar for the happiness in your life.
Dear Dr. Romance: What Is The Grieving Process? What are the stages of the grieving process? How long does it take to go through each stage? Can one stage be relived over and over again? Is there a way to help someone through each stage? Dear Reader:
Once upon a time, In high school, I memorized a poem that has been a constant source of help and direction in my life and relationships. It's simple and much more sentimental than today's cynical age can handle, but the very simplicity of it made it a great navigational tool for me in relationships. "He drew a circle that shut me out; Heretic, Rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the Wit to Win. We drew a circle that took him in" Edwin Markham
In Peace, Love and Healing, Dr. Be ie Siegel says: “Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path... your ‘job on earth.’ This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, that says, ‘This is your path, this is how you can be the best human being possible.’ If you follow it, you will achieve your full growth and full potential as a human being before you let go of the Tree of Life...”
The most frequent problem I hear from single clients is that of how and where to search for a partner. Many of them have been searching for a long time, without success; others have been afraid to go out and search at all. Most of the horror stories you have heard about dating occur when daters rush the process. Getting intimately involved with someone you don’t know, allowing strangers into your home, or being all alone with someone you just met is just asking for trouble.
Infidelity: 3 Tips on Finances after your Spouse's Girlfriend Has a Child It’s not the first thing everyone thinks of, but the existence of an out-of-wedlock child will have a big economic impact, and the financial responsibility will grow with the child. 1. Unless you can settle with the child’s other parent out of court, court costs can be very expensive.