Dating Articles

Dating Games Men Play 16 Deadly Dating Patterns You Need to Know Now Excerpted from Love in 90 Days By Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. © 2010 Have you ever asked yourself about guys … How could he disappear after he was so totally into me? Why hasn’t he texted? Why does he pull away every time we get close? Was it just about the sex? How could he not be interested in me? Why doesn’t he make a move? Why did he put his profile back up? Will he ever commit? What the bleep is going on with him?

Love moderately: long love doth so; Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow. ~Shakespeare When it comes to dating, the Bard got it right. Moderation is key. It keeps you from moving too quickly or too slowly when you’re getting to know new men and what they bring to your table. And the most powerful way to achieve moderation is by using the Dating Program of Three. The Program of Three is exactly the opposite of the urban legend “three-date rule,” which dictates that you must decide by the third date if a guy is the potentially the One and have sex or lose him forever.

Okay, maybe not for all of you, but a surprisingly large number of people will fire off a “I hate my life! … Life sucks!” at the blink of an eye. nn“I hate my job.” nn“I hate not having a social life.” nn“I hate not being able to afford a car.”nn“I hate the way I look.”nn“I hate these gas prices.” nn“I hate not having someone in my life.”nnAny of these sound familiar? How ‘bout that last one? Many of you can relate to that one, right? You hate

When we are talking about making a man miss you, we're not simply talking about responding with behaviors that he may react to. Making a man miss you goes much deeper and as you read further, you will understand how to find and sustain the mental attitude that will make a man feel as though he is experiencing the actions of a woman who has an expansive mind. When asked, many women will give behaviors as signs that works to activate a man's mental switch.

Of course, some relationships are destructive, smothering or empty and they have to go. But these days breaking up and divorce have become so socially acceptable, that many couples who could work things out wind up dissolving their unions. And often there is a big price to pay for this. As a couples therapist and love expert, I’ve seen too many people regret ending their relationships. Usually the breakup itself is quite painful. They suffer with financial setbacks, emotional breakdowns and if they have kids, children's adjustment problems.

Okay, so you’ve begun spending time with a girl. Possibly you and her have gotten intimate already. Maybe not. But after some time you begin to question “Does she love me?” In other words, does she have her sights set on a more long-term relationship. Allow me to talk about a number of questions you will ask yourself to learn how strong a woman's feelings for you may be. First, does the girl talk about the long run? When people speak about the longer term with each othe

As a Relationship Confidant, women come to me frequently with this same perplexing question: What does it all mean when the man in my life is distancing himself from me? As a Guy Spy into the Male Mind let me help clarify this male phenomenon. Women as we know tend to be extremely relational and nurturing. Rarely do they pull away from chick chats and friendships, so it is understandably difficult for women to comprehend why someone would do such a thing!

“Don’t be a shnook. It’s not how you feel—it’s how you look.”rn~Fernando, aka Billy Crystal on SNL Fernando had a point. Kind of. Research shows that if you feel you look good, you do feel good or something about feeling and looking good. Or something like that. Anyway, Valentine’s Day is a great time to take a long look in the mirror, shoot yourself some love and think about how to give yourself a slight-to-majorly fabulous makeover. And oh, what dating and love adventures can open up from that! So here’s my dating advice.

Have you ever wondered if you were missing something when it comes to having a relationship with a man? Do you sometimes get the sense that all men are screwed up? That love is too difficult? That you will never find that terrific guy who can rock your world? Well, you're not alone. Many women have experienced these thoughts and feelings.

In the Sex & the City movie, Miranda functions as a friend-tu ed-Frenemy and helps derail her friend’s dream wedding. At a strategic point in the upcoming nuptials she opens her mouth and actually puts down the idea of marriage to the commitment-phobic groom! In this one act, Miranda puts a nail in the coffin of her best friend’s dream. We will not reveal how things do turn out, in case you have not seen the movie.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Anon This article is penned by my colleague and friend Jim Delpino. Jim is a highly gifted and experienced clinical social worker and marriage and family therapist. He’s also a senior professional Love Mentor in our relationship coaching program. This article is reprinted by permission from Icon Magazine.

For a while now I’ve been working on finding the essential elements that you must include in an online profile. After reading hundreds of books on psychology, philosophy and attraction, I’ve come up with these six fundamentals. I strongly believe they need to be conveyed properly if you’re going to get a date. You should be able to look at your profile and see if they’re there. They’re in no particular order. 1. Mystery/Mystiquer

I've been told that I'm scary. That's what my client, Liz, told me today. She says that several men have said she's intimidating and "too much for them." I was told that when I was single and dating. My response was: that's who I am—and if you can't take it, I don't want you! (I probably added a couple expletives, but I'll spare you.) After I finally got sick enough of being alone and having one dating failure after another, I took a good look at myself. What I saw was that my approach to men was somewhat cold, defensive and bordering on aggressive.

When it comes to dating and love relationships there are certain “love facts” that most everyone believes. But, surprisingly, if we look at the actual research about these “love facts” we may find that they are not facts at all. They are fictions, myths. This is key information for anyone who is interested in creating a great love relationship; separating love fiction from love fact makes you an informed “consumer” when it comes to your dating and love life.

Let me ask you a few questions. When you first open up your email inbox, do you instantly know which messages to delete? If so, how do you know which ones belong in the trash? Well, if you're like me, as soon as you go to your inbox you check each email's subject line, that is if you don't recognize who it's from right off the bat. The subject line will tell you right away whether or not it's junk mail. If I see anything having to do with Viagra, Cialis, Nigeria, Awards, Gi

Have you ever thought if that certain guy feels the same way about you as you do for him? Are you looking for some ways to determine if he likes you? Do you worry that you might miss out on the man of your dreams because you haven’t read his attraction signals correctly? Being able to detect if a guy likes you is a skill that only a handful of people seem to be able to accomplish because men and women communicate in different ways. What if you think that they like you and th

Courtship, traditionally the wooing of a female by a male, includes activities such as dating (dinner and a movie, a picnic, or general "hanging out"), along with other forms of activity, such as meeting online (also known as virtual dating), chatting on-line, sending text messages or picture messages, conversing over the phone, writing each other letters, and sending each other flowers, songs, and gifts. Courting usually involves getting to know the family (especially the pa

A common email request I receive daily is a question about how to make love last, specifically passionate love. Here’s one from Jo in Chicago: “I'm crazy about my live-in boyfriend but worried about making it last! Already, we don’t make love as often. Help--what do I do to keep the spark going?"

The great news is that I just started a dating and relationship coaching service based on my years of clinical work and supervision. How would you like lots of clients, free ongoing training and supervision plus a healthy fee? And no startup expenses whatsoever! But most important of all, to be involved in a heart-centered phenomenon that is bringing love into the lives of women all over the world? Interested? “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Anon

Respecting the well known fact that girls are emotional and easily fall for things that touch their hearts, it's not difficult to impress a girl without gifts. So, if you are on a tight budget or not willing to loosen your pocket for her, you still stand a chance to become her darling. Guys have such a hard time with giving gifts, and when you really want to impress a girl it becomes more complicated. Can you actually impress the girl of your dreams, without giving her gifts?

One of the most important things you can do to create the commitment you want in your relationship is to work with a straightforward, knowledgeable, and devoted Love Mentor™. This is the secret, the strategy that has totally transformed my life and the lives of thousands of others: Love Mentoring™ involves reeducating yourself and developing critical skills to build your most important and intimate relationship.

rnOne of the best qualities of a Taurus man is his down-to-earth reliability. He can be counted on always to be the anchor in the storm. This can be a wonderful trait in a long-term relationship, but it can create some difficulty in starting a fire at first. You will have to be the one to move things along with a Taurus man. He is more comfortable taking his time, weighing all of the evidence, sifting through the facts of the matter before making up his mind. This can be a pr

Thinking about the good days, love all around you, a stable and happy relationship, feeling sad that the nice dream ended in a break up? Not to worry, even though you may think you lost your love forever, getting your ex back is quite simple. Almost everyone is interested in giving another chance to a former good relationship. If you find yourself in this situation, and want to get back together with your ex-lover follow the 4 steps detailed below. 1. Be Patient. First of a

In order for you to increase your chances for a man to fall in love with you, you must spend time playing with him…a lot. This advanced technique will make you drip with so much sex appeal, your man may mistake you for ice crème. Women who win can turn anything into a laughing matter. They use humor as their weapon of mass construction.

Can you ever really know whether you’ve met “the one”? Unfortunately, there isn’t a foolproof dating litmus test, but you can be fairly confident in your relationship if you notice these nine signs that are characteristic of a really special connection between two people. 1) You’re Not Chasing the Relationship’s Potential Many people have romantic relationships fraught with obstacles. On a basic level, the relationship is satisfactory, but there always seems to be

If you’re wondering how to get a man, stop playing games. You heard me. Games are highly over-rated and only work to your advantage if you’re the actress in the movie! Generally, men and women play mind games because they think it will make the other more interested, or they are simply not in a mature place in life to carry on with an adult relationship. However, if you are in a relationship with a man who is playing mind games, figure out what the problem is before you up and end a relationship that could have been fixed with simple communication. The ‘phone game’:

No one wants to be lonely. Few people want to be single. Most of us are looking for a relationship where we can grow as a couple, have fun, and support each other. This includes emotionally unavailable people, commonly called commitment phobes. These people express a compulsive avoidance of intimacy while constantly hunting for an intimate relationship. They are never clear about being unavailable and can touch the heart of a woman far easier than a ‘normal’ man.

As a Relationship Confidant, I frequently get asked questions that could be issues of conce for many re-entering the dating scene. One gal was distraught over the lack of appreciation she felt from her man due to his memory loss when it came to special anniversary dates. She also felt he was not cutting it in the affection department during the day and seemed interested only at night.

Everyone has had that conversation, the one that drags on, stumbles all over itself, the discussion that seems like treading through molasses. Usually, tedious and boring conversations have less to do with the two people talking and more to do with the subject being discussed. A good, lively and interesting topic often does more than to keep a conversation rolling than an engaging, gregarious person discussing something dull and uninteresting. To help you, here are five popul

Single men and women are vulnerable to the risks of exploitation, deception, infidelity, stalking, and abuse, especially if they don’t know the early warning signs. With statistics that range from 20 to 60 percent of partner’s cheating during a relationship or marriage,** and reports stating that approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner, and 1,006,970 women and 370,990 men are stalked annually in the United States,*** singles need all the information they can get to increase their odds for recognizing manipulation and avoiding abuse.r

Hooking up, that is, no-strings-attached sex, can be hot, mind-blowing hot. And it has become the norm for many college students, 20-somethings and even many 30-somethings. But there are high costs for this brief steamy pleasure. Impulsive in-the-moment sex is often fueled by alcohol or ...

Meeting people online can be exciting, scary and even thrilling, especially when a virtual stranger is attracted to you and sends a personal email. Ongoing email exchanges and online chats may help bring you closer to each other but are far from the reality of what it takes to establish a serious, long-term relationship. To make the transition from ‘just online friends’ to ‘serious romance’ requires patience and time. Move too fast and you may come across as desperate, too slow and you may seem indifferent.

So, you're about to go on a First Date? With more Americans utilizing the internet to meet their match, what do you talk about on a first date? Haven't you already asked and answered all the questions on your profile and/or in email exchanges, chat sessions, texting, phone calls? Not even ...

Let's face it: Dating is daunting. And when you're a Boomer, it may seem next to impossible. You might be coming out of a long-term marriage, or emerging from a period of time where you were consumed with raising children or caring for elderly parents -- or, perhaps you still are responsible for children and/parents. Have your "dating muscles" atrophied? You might feel like you don't have the slightest idea how to go about flirting, meeting the opposite sex, much less handling issues of sexually transmitted diseases. You might feel like your body is old or unattractive.

“Intuition is truly a feminine quality, but women should not mistake rash conclusions for this gift.”~Minna Antrim The other day I was listening to my friend tell me about her 25 minute “date” with this guy “who had nothing going for him.” As she’s talking I’m thinking: WTF?! So I ask her how she could possibly conclude anything about someone in 25 minutes? Her response: I trust my intuition; it’s always right.

Love and hate go hand-in-hand. As much as a man wants to be with a woman, sometimes her behavior can make him tear his hair out… and tear out the front door. What are women doing that’s putting the kibosh on new love in their life? Women change. That old saying is true: “Women expect a man to change – he doesn’t. Men expect a woman not to change – she does.” As much as you may pride yourself on your consistency, your ability to stick to a routine, it’s those “little” personality switches that flat-line the electricity in your new relationship.

Dear Lisa, I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. I moved back with my parents temporarily because we were fighting a lot. While I was home, he was seeing this girl he works with. I was really upset about everything even though she said she never slept with him. She assured me that she would never talk to him, but lately she has been calling him again. I don’t want to put up with this, what can I do to get this girl to stop calling my boyfriend? Threesome Dear Threesome, What can you do to get her to stop calling your boyfriend? Get a new boyfriend.

Chances are, if you are going to date attractive women, then competition from other guys is going to become a part of your reality. It goes with the territory, kind of like celebrities and paparazzi. So, you have to accept that this is going to happen from time to time. Yes, if you enter into a club, a restaurant, a bar, with a good looking girl-- other guys are going to be checking her out and some of them are even going to try and hit on her. So, what do you do in this kind

This is the fifth and last in a series of articles sharing my 5 Keys to Finding Hope and Finding Him. The 5 Keys are: M - Me and Me first. A - Assess your list. S - Shed your stuff. T - Time to get out and Trail blaze. R - Real women find their man. The truth is that as we get older, the ratio of single men to women begins to favor men. That means there's a lot of competition, especially for the confident, healthy, relationship-minded man you want to meet. That good man has a lot of options – and I want You to be the one he chooses!

Are you a single woman over 40 who is smart, independent and thinking there are no good men out there? I hope you don’t mind my saying this: you are wrong. As a dating and relationship coach – and a woman who was a first-time bride at 47 – I’m quite aware of what we tell ourselves: Men can’t handle smart, powerful women. This is who I am and I'm not going to change for any man. I’m going to wait for the man who accepts me just the way I am and if he doesn't come along then I'll be just as happy. Sound familiar at all?

There are countless things that a man would never want to hear from a woman, especially the ones they love; however, women have the tendency to think of them as a fear developing from men; wherein such men become afraid of loving their women. Here are just a few of the things that make a woman ask the question "was he afraid to love me?"' when in fact, it is actually things that her man is afraid to hear. 1. Be A Man: These words will truly have a damaging impact on your man.

Happy Memorial Day weekend! How about a little trivia to start your day?

Do you know that you are special, that you count big time, and that you deserve to think of yourself first when dating and developing a love relationship? This is such a difficult concept for so many women. Think of myself first? That’s so selfish! I’ve never done that before…ever! I don’t want to become one of those bossy bitchy women!

Needy women attract good men. "Low-maintenance" women attract jerks…or no men at all. Is this counter to what you've always thought? Did you think that the less you expected from a man, the more he'd like you? Well, consider this: A Good Man – one who is confident, mature and relationship-minded – wants to give to a woman and make her happy. He needs to know that you need him and that he's enhancing your already-great life.

Have you heard this quote by Anthony Robbins: “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” I love this quote. What does it have to do with dating and your search for love? It may have everything to do with it…especially if you’ve been looking for a meaningful relationship for some time. Let me ask you: Do you want to find a good man to be your life partner? How long have you been looking or waiting for him?

Albert Einstein once said: “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” Al was so damn smart! Not only was he the king of quantum physics, he got right to the heart of one of the most troubling challenges in male/female relations. Okay…let’s break this down:

Happy Memorial Day weekend! How about a little trivia to start your day?

Rejection sucks. There’s no other way to say it. When he doesn’t show interest, doesn’t show up, or breaks it off after a relationship develops; it’s ugly and icky. No doubt about it. Thing is: rejection doesn’t have to strike a mortal blow. I know so many women who avoid connecting with men – by choice or unconsciously – because they don’t want to experience rejection. If you don’t accept – even welcome – rejection, your dream of meeting a life partner will most surely never materialize. It will keep you from getting out there and giving it your best.

Looking for a life partner but keep picking players, paupers, or just plain zeros? Finding a partner is like finding a good job: you only need one, but making a bad choice wastes your time and sticks you in an unpleasant situation. To avoid that, you need to make a grown-up decision about whether it’s good for you and how it will enhance your life. That means not letting yourself be taken in by the flashy exterior. It means asking the right questions and using that sharp brain of yours to answer.