Self Improvement Newsletter
Issue # 193, May 21-25, 2002

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Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter
Issue # 193, Week of May 21-25, 2002
Publishers: David and Michelle Riklan  -

In this issue:

-> Quotes of the Week
-> Personal Growth Products and Services
-> ARTICLE: EASE the HARD WAY  - written by  Diego Gonzalez
-> ARTICLE: COMPASSION, PART 1 and PART 2 - written by Rinatta Paries
-> BOOK REVIEW: Breaking the Pattern: The 5 Principles You Need to Remodel Your Life- written by Charles Stuart Platkin
-> How to subscribe and unsubscribe to this newsletter
-> How to recommend our newsletter to a Friend
-> How to Advertise in the Self Improvement Newsletter

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You cannot succeed by yourself.  It's hard to find a rich hermit. -Jim Rohn, American Businessman, Author, Speaker, Philosopher

Repeat anything often enough and it will start to become you. -Tom Hopkins, American Sales Trainer, Speaker, Author

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. -Carl Jung, 1875-1961, Swiss Psychiatrist

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** ARTICLE:  EASE the HARD WAY  - written by  Diego Gonzalez **

The purpose behind this article is to aid you in the optimal development of yourself.  What is written in this article works, It's how the winners do it, so use it.  These principles/steps are the foundation upon which staggering successes are built.  Question if you wish, but don't doubt.  Without further adieu, here are the steps:

1.  Intense Desire -
The first "Step" in doing anything, you must first desire intensely, remember that.  The harder the objective, the stronger your desire need be.  In order to gain a high level of desire, you must figure out your values and to do that, you must answer the following questions:  "What's really important to me?" and then ask, "What about this is important to me?"  and finally ask, "What does that give me emotionally?".  Repeat process until you have a list of emotions or "values".  I.e.: love, power, freedom, etc, etc.  The things you have achieved in the past, you have truly desired, so, you need to have urgency in your life and hunger for your objective. Remember, we all get what we truly want!  We need only to know what we want and want it badly.

2.  Definite Direction -
You have to know precisely what you want.  After the definite step of desire, comes definite direction.  Here's how we discover our definite direction:  First turn off the outside world, relax, get your mind quiet and when that's done, ask yourself "According to my values, what do I want?"  Don't fear aiming too high, worry about aiming too low and not having enough to desire to achieve mediocre things!  Ask your heart, "What is my true purpose on earth?"  If this answer doesn't come to you right away, keep asking until you get an answer that feels right in your heart.  Keep a journal.  I can't stress the importance of keeping a journal enough.  Learn to be a scribbler and scribble down things as they come to you.  One, simple, plain, journal.  It can be a notebook or whatever.  Like Tony Robbins says, if it's worth living, it's worth recording.  I'd add to that, if it's worth doing, it's worth planning.  And the function of a journal is to help you do precisely that, help you plan precisely and powerfully.  My journal is my secret weapon in the journey of life and my greatest asset.  Used correctly, journals guide you to map the hard way, and thus easier to navigate.

3.  Necessary Failure -
You have to learn to fail effectively and conquer the fear of it.  Some things you will have to figure out through trial and error.  Failure is to be accepted as being a necessary part of success.  When you fail, and you will fail, do things a little different and you will achieve.

4.  Mentors/Support System -
Mentors guide you, coaches keep you on track.  Get people to support you and not let you give up.  Make them hold you accountable for your aspirations.  Seek mentors, coaches and friends headed in the direction you'd like to be headed in.  Ask them how you can serve them and they will teach you and help guide and support you in your endeavors!

5.  Special Information -
This is the difference between working "hard", and working "smart/easy".  You must think largely different to find this arcane information and profound knowledge that eases the hard way so much.  Actively seek out optimum strategies for doing things.

Summary:  You have to want to change.  You have to know where you are and what your direction will be.  The basic method of dealing with failure is to get back up when you fall, and modify you approach slightly or dramatically.  Consult with someone who has already done what you desire to do, this is how most people have become what they have set out to become.  Although this article is very brief, it contains all the "Special Information" you need to make change in your life.  It can be tough to get what you want, so why not ease the hard way?

About the Author
Diego Gonzalez is a super successful real estate investor and network marketer.  He is a student of life, constantly searching for better ways of doing things.  He is committed to mentoring eager would-be achievers into astounding successes.  E-Mail:  Website:  Coming Soon...

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** ARTICLE : COMPASSION, PART 1 and PART 2 - written by Rinatta Paries **

"Before we can feel compassion for anyone else, we must learn to feel compassion for ourselves."

Webster's Dictionary defines compassion as the sympathetic   consciousness of other's distress. But the first step toward having compassion for others is having compassion for yourself. It is the first step toward creating thriving relationships. It is the first step toward moving forward and growing your life.

This is because we can never truly give to another if we are empty, if we are tapped out, unnourished. Sure, we can push ourselves to give even then. But the giving won't be genuine. At the same time, giving to others while you are empty makes you feel resentful. This is why it is extremely important to always care for yourself first.

The last time you were sick, did you take care of yourself the way you would a sick child? Did you fix your favorite meal, sleep for hours on end, and take a day or two off from work? Or did you instead push yourself through the discomfort and low energy, all the time telling yourself you can't afford the time to be sick?

The last time you were sad, did you hug yourself, take a good long time to journal, and call a friend and pour your heart out? Or did you instead continue with your routine, pushing yourself even harder, telling yourself to get over it?

The last time you failed at something, did you look at all you accomplished even in the failure, acknowledge your sadness, and come up with a gentle, practical way to do better next time? Or did you instead berate yourself endlessly, telling yourself what you should have done differently and better, resolving to succeed through sheer willpower?

Self-compassion is the ability to be present to your shortcomings and vulnerability, your humanness, and still perceive yourself as the precious, lovable human being you are.

Practice compassion for yourself because...

You are human, fragile, vulnerable and you need it as a traveler in a scorching desert needs a regular drink of cool, clear water to survive.

Without it you will not have the strength to achieve your greatest aspirations, because you will need self-compassion to deal with failures along the way.

You can be with and connect with others only to the degree that you can be with and connect with your own humanity.

Practice compassion for yourself today. Start this very moment. Meet your deepest need, take time for yourself, feel deeply your emotions. This is what you were born for and you will blossom as a result.

Compassion, Part 2

Having compassion toward others is a gift of connectedness you give yourself and a gift of presence you give others. While difficult to define, compassion is a way of being, and you will see the definition emerge among the three concepts presented here.

1. Compassion involves seeing others as "self."

No matter how different others are, or how different their circumstances are from yours, we all want essentially the same things from life. We want happiness, satisfaction and love. We want connectedness, safety and understanding.

When you are struggling to feel compassion for others, struggling to put yourself in their shoes, struggling to understand what they are going through, remember this similarity. Remember that everyone ultimately wants what you want.

2. Compassion does not involve self-sacrifice or martyrdom at your expense.

When in a disagreement with someone -- whether your partner, a friend or your boss -- remember to see the other as "self." At the same time, be careful not to mistake compassion for being a pushover. Don't justify another's behavior at the cost of your feelings or discount your feelings.

Being compassionate in the context of disagreement means being understanding, supportive and kind, while respecting and setting your boundaries. You must be present to both simultaneously in order to both take care of yourself and others.

3. Compassion gives you a sense of connectedness.

Having compassion means opening your heart to others. It also means residing in your heart when interacting with others. This can be especially challenging when compassion is most needed. But it is well worth the effort.

When you show others compassion, they get to experience being heard and cared for when most needed. This allows you to connect with others in a meaningful way and feel more alive and loved.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

About the Author
As a Master Certified professional relationship coach, Rinatta Paries works with hundreds of singles each month seeking her expertise in helping them find and attract loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. Nearly 10,000 subscribers read her weekly ezine, "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," filled with insightful, applicable and attainable relationship advice. Rinatta is a graduate of Coach University, a premier educational institution for training professional coaches, and a member of the International Coach Federation, an independent coaching certification organization. For more information, visit 

** BOOK REVIEW: Breaking the Pattern: The 5 Principles You Need to Remodel Your Life- written by Charles Stuart Platkin **

Have you ever had a sickening sense that you're reliving the same events in your life -- even having the same conversations or arguments -- again and again? Relationships, diets, jobs, or projects may begin full of hope, but somehow, they don't work out for you. And no matter how much you feel like you've changed, these new experiences or relationships end up feeling somehow ... familiar.

- Do you ever wonder why certain people achieve their goals while others do not?

- Are you searching for a way to "break out" and start leading the life you want to live?

- Do you feel like you just can't catch a break, and luck is never on your side?

- Do you find yourself wondering, "How did I get here?" but have no idea how to make the changes needed to move your life in a new direction?

In Breaking the Pattern, author Charles S. Platkin synthesizes years of research in the areas of psychology, motivation, success, and achievement into what he calls "The 5 Principles You Need to Remodel Your Life."

The basic tenets of these five principles guide readers to examine their successes and failures honestly and carefully, so they can begin to see the outline of very distinct patterns. By becoming aware of these patterns, readers are able to then analyze them, break them down, and focus on stopping the negative behaviors that have led them to failure and disappointment in the past. Readers also learn to capitalize on their positive patterns and harness them to make huge advances in both their personal and professional lives.

This revolutionary book will help you take action to change the areas of your life in which you feel stuck, frustrated, or no longer in control. Using a simple, step-by-step approach, Breaking the Pattern will help you to identify the behaviors that have imprisoned you and set you free to realize your dreams.

About the Author
Author Charles S. Platkin is an enthusiastic and compelling speaker who has appeared in media outlets including "The Today Show," CNN, CNBC, CBS' "The Early Show," the BBC, and 1000's of newspapers and magazines including USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Time, as an expert in visualization and goal planning techniques.

Most recently, Platkin has applied the principles behind Breaking the Pattern toward developing a Weight Loss Behavior Modification and Counseling Program. The principles behind this online Weight Loss Program have been lauded as one of the most effective weight-loss methods available.

Mr. Platkin received his B.S. from Cornell University and received his law degree from Fordham University of Law.

The list Price of this book is $ 27.00.  To purchase this book for only
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The contents herein are solely the opinions of Self Improvement Online editors, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. Self Improvement Online, Inc. assumes no responsibility for injury and specifically disclaims any warranty, express or implied for any products or services mentioned.  If expert assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought.

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