Browse Abuse and Recovery

Advocacy Coach is a term that we have not heard much, but this is a very important role that someone plays in the life of the disability community. Before the laws few people acknowledged that there is a disability community. Today, we're still on the outskirts looking in. People with disabilities still don't have opportunities in the workplace even though we have laws on the books today to guarantee us these rights. Especially now that there is 10% unemployment. The only option is to look to self employment.

"We need to do more thn just tell our troubles to God. God already knows. What we do need to learn to do is sit down with God and look for solutions: What actions to take, choices to make, directions to turn. In our conversation with God, we need to hear both the joyful and painful aspects of ...

After years of struggling as a writer, by 1996, I had written two books, had publishers interested in both, and had walked away each time. Finally, in complete frustration, I gave up the dream of being a writer. I still felt something was locking up my writing, but I had no idea what it was. I spent several pretty miserable years not writing, believing I’d never get down to the bottom of the mysterious hangup that had effectively killed my path with heart. I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2002, returning to the part of the country where I had grown up.

Changes in our life come disguised as the ultimate human freedom. Why? Because the ultimate human freedom is power to choose, to respond to change and not to remain in overwhelm, frustration and fear. Initially change does not usually appear as feelings of freedom! Based on my past experiences, there have not been too many that initially bring with them feelings of freedom! However, there is one I can recall that was an anonymous gift of money ($4,000) I received, that changed the course of my life. It restored my faith in humanity!

I am a first time author and I have written a book about my own personal experience. My direct web page – http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1822After an accident in which I injured my back, I was ill health retired. This has given me the time and dedication to put pen to paper. My life was no longer full, and I found myself with an abundance of alone time, to sit and reflect everything I had tried so hard to bury. Although this

In order for drugs to affect the brain they must first be put into the body. There are five methods of drug use which allow drugs to enter the body: swallowing, smoking, snorting, through suppositories and injecting. 1. Swallowingr Ingesting or swallowing drugs is the most common method of abuse. The individual takes the substance by mouth. They then pass to the stomach and then into the bloodstream. Of all the methods of drug abuse, taking them by mouth is considered to be

How to cope with your abuser? Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. They easily sway the system in their favor. Here is a list of escalating countermeasures. They represent the distilled experience of thousands of victims of abuse. They may help you cope with abuse and overcome it. Not included are legal or medical steps. Consult an atto ey, an accountant, a

Grief – it’s a word we can all relate to, if we have ever suffered the pain of losing someone close to us. It’s a word that is associated with love, the empty feeling it leaves behind as the bottom of our world falls out. It’s a word that is associated with death, as we try to move on in our lives without that special person. Buts death has many guises. So what relevance has it here? Let’s explore that question together. To my mind there are so many other things that we griev

Violent crime has been closely associated with substance abuse since Prohibition was in effect in the United States more than 80 years ago. Since then rates of violent crime have skyrocketed, especially in the decades after the US government took up an active war on drugs. But while a great deal of this violence can be attributed to the enforcement of drug laws, much of it is associated with increased instances of non-enforcement related violent crime like rape, robbery and m

OWNING MY T.E.A You may push my buttons, but I’m responsible for my Thoughts, Emotion & Actions WHAT IS IT? In it’s simplest form: honestly admitting, to ourselves, first of all, what we feel, think & have done - or - not. (Review T.E.A. - Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, pg 54 ) “I cannot tell a lie - I chopped down the apple tree”. Abe Lincoln. And if possible, acknowledge these without judgment, without shame, without guilt. MOST of ALL - without self-hate. BENEFITS:rnⶠit eliminates the need for spinrnⶠit significantly reduces guilt & shamer

It is time to treat the whole person including emotional and subconscious aspects originating domestic violence and move beyond the current theory of behavioral and book solutions. When treating the whole person results are effective and long term, not the usual shallow help. Growing into sanity and having a life of happiness, joy and freedom from domestic violence, when the root causes and conditions of this illness are understood and restored to health is possible.nnThe Ame

When I was six years old I felt very connected with God. I had a sense of peace about my world, and knew, I just knew, that one day I would become a famous writer. It was a sense of destiny that was as tangible as anything I’ve experienced since. I started my first novel at age 13, something about a plot to overthrow the President. Then the movie Seven Days In May stole my storyline, so I set the novel aside. Then when I was in the 8th grade, our class compiled a literary magazine. I published five poems and a short story, and was once again really excited about writing.

A controlling parent can have as much a crippling effect on an adult child as on an intimate partner. And I’m sure you know why.nnBut help for that adult child is touch and go. There are no shelters for them, yet they have many of the same financial issues as battered women.nnIf they haven’t risen above their controlling parent’s domination, they can become entrapped victims for life. They remain dependent and often spend their lives seeking out ways to work out their u

Note: This topic is particularly on my mind right now - I have just had a friend of 20 years drift away. I held on to the illusion that we were still on the same wavelength for about a year. Then I finally had to admit - we just weren't going down the same road any more. Eventually, I let it go and began to move on, but it has been troubling nonetheless! Oddly, I had just met the friend around the same time this piece was written. (Written July 25, 1990)

Part One: Causation © Holli Kenleyr

Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, and control. There are a million ways to abuse. To love too much is to abuse. It is tantamount to treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification. To be over-protective, not to respect privacy, to be brutally honest, with a sadistic sense of humor, or consistently tactless - is to abuse. To expect too much, to denigrate, to ignore - are all modes of abuse. There

Violence in the family is a major source of teen female violence. The future well-being of a society is directly linked to its ability to care for and educate its young. Families that cannot successfully care for their young, nurture the seeds of future violence and criminality. Until we learn ...

Straight off the top… Addicts for one reason or another, have a problem coping with every day life in our Society! Drugs fill some void in their life, family or personality. A large number of people, who progress to the stage of drug use that is Addiction, are self-medicating! Many Addicts’ ...

If your youth work in a low paid job in the very tender age of their life then your nation can never bring anything good to your country or to the world in bigger aspect. Children are the future of the nation. But the financial problem is highly responsible in the poor families which leads the children to work at such a tender age, when they should have went to school to study. Most of them work at unskilled jobs and do not attend school; it is the violation of international

Talk of Tigersrn(Written March 9, 1990) "Tell me about your tiger," she said. They were at the zoo, standing in front of the tiger cage. A huge, restless Bengal tiger paced back and forth the length of the cage. His eyes looked devoid of life, cold, neutral. The huge paws silently padded up and down, the tawny skin rippling over muscles bunching and loosening as he walked, endlessly pacing. There was about him an ominous presence, a sense of unbelievable power and force, frightening, even with the steel bars separating him from outsiders.

Celebrate February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month and help young people across the country have safe and healthy relationships. Love has many definitions, but abuse isn't one of them.

ABANDONMENT PAIN IS FROM THE PAST It hurts, but it passes DEFINITION • the DEF for Abandonment (A) is : “Not getting enough of your legitimate childhood needs met, & some needs NOT at all”. This applies to all 4 categories of NEEDS: Mental, Physical, Emotional, Spiritual. (A) is NOT just about someone physically leaving • (A) did not have to be overt or deliberate. Our parents may have been oblivious to the damage they were doing, BUT the result is the samer

For almost every battered woman and abused man I work with, there is a layman’s label attached to the core of their self-perception. This label is typically bestowed upon them by their battering partner or by allies supporting his/her plight to save face and to discredit and silence the abused.nnBut the question is where do these nonprofessional people obtain license to provide these diagnoses? And why do these battered women and men internalize the layman’s psychiatric l

Why are memories of abuse so often hidden? This is a really hard question for people in recovery from abuse, for therapists, and for researchers. In my case, I didn’t recognize one of my early childhood memories as a memory of abuse until I was in my fifties. Then physical memories started to ...

I’M NO GOOD & EVERYONE KNOWS ITrnso I have to be perfect to make up for it Self-Hate is the #1 deterrent to growth for all ACoAs. It undermines our ability to function well, to have self-esteem & to be happy. Some people call it being ‘hard on yourself”, but it’s much more than that. It’s so pervasive in the inner world of many ACoAs, that we don’t even know we have it & if confronted, vehemently deny it. BUT the symptoms are all there, starting with a persistent nagging anxiety. DEF:

Substance abuse is a massive problem in the United States and a few other countries. The United States has more than 23 million people who are addicted to drugs, alcohol and the like. Drug-related crimes run rampant throughout the United States, as well. U.S. citizens can participate in fighting the war on drugs in many ways. The following are five ways that a person can contribute: Donate to Research and Rehabilitation One way that a person can help to fight the substance ab

“I HATE YOU - DON’T LEAVE ME!” I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m desperate ⶠUn-healed ACoAs have only 2 speeds about most things: Too Much or Too Little, black or white, very high or very low. ‘Gray’ is NOT even thought of, or is seen as a cop-out! ⶠMental Health is about many things, one of which is BALANCE. Living in a healthy middle ground is not only a foreign concept to ACoAs, but IF experienced, even briefly, is considered BORING & undesirable!

When I was 35, I remarried. Soon after that, Rick and I became disillusioned with our jobs. Consequently, we sold everything we owned and set out to see this wonderful country on a motorcycle. We have a beautiful, diverse county. I hope you have time to get out to see it. But, after about 3 ...

Drinking huge amounts of alcohol over long periods can cause many negative effects on your body and mind. Alcohol is present in wine, beer, and liquor. It depresses the CNS (central nervous system) and can affect all the organs in your body, especially the brain and liver. When you start drinking, you can notice the short-term effects of alcohol such as difficulty in walking, thinking and speaking, and these go away when you stop drinking. However, the long-term effects of al

Do you feel trapped in a marriage with a husband who undermines you, makes you feel weak rather than strong, or are you always tense or afraid whenever he is around? rnYou should know that divorce is not your only option and that you have more options than you realize. Understanding the cause for your husband’s abusive behaviors is the first step toward seeing, then breaking destructive patterns in your relationship.rnRelationship abuse may begin when a man feels vulnerable

Eight years ago, in a matter of hours, the face of society changed because of what the few did to the many. As we reflect, let us also be mindful of the millions who suffer daily at the hands of those they once trusted. 11 September 2009 Today, we pause to honor the dead and shake our heads. Over three thousand souls perished for reasons we still can’t fathom.

Have you ever wondered if you or a loved one is an alcoholic? There are many different definitions and explanations of what alcoholism is and who can be classified as suffering this addiction. Many times these designations are chosen by the various treatment facilities, perhaps the best way to define the disorder is by saying it is a loss of control over the consumption of alcohol to the point that it interferes in major life events. One reason this is a great characterizatio

In the fall of 1990, I was meeting with two other men on a regular basis to explore our dreams and aspirations. Every two weeks, we would gather at a Chinese buffet and talk for several hours about things we’d like to do some day.

It kind of trails off after the holidays. We would love to keep the issue in the front of everyone and that child abuse happens all year long. Abuse doesn't take a holiday, doesn't take a day off, and we can't either. (Jane Donovan) The it referred to in the quote is child abuse. It was in the news again yesterday in abundance: a father raping his daughter for 9 years with the tacit consent of the mother because a voodoo man told him to do so, a bunch of caretakers raping the

A lot of survivors of sexual and physical abuse feel they need to confront someone about it. Face down the perpetrator and tell him (usually him) – tell him what? That what he did was wrong. That it was hurtful and did substantial harm.

Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful, and even after my surrender it kept trying to manipulate my mind to make me slip and destroy my recovery.rn rnI am alive today only because of the miracle I experienced one day in treatment. As I entered my room and walked by a mirror, I glimpsed something I had never seen before. I jumped back to take a second look, but it was gone. Gone but not forgotten.rn rnIt was like the movie The Fly, where the man is lost within a monster.

We need to do more than just tell our troubles to God. God already knows. What we do need to learn to do is sit down with God and look for solutions: What actions to take, choices to make, directions to turn. In our conversation with God, we need to hear both the joyful and painful aspects ...

Drinking alcohol is a part of the lives of many people. You drink when you have a bottle of wine during your meals, during special occasions, when you go out with your friends and a lot more. It is then difficult to identify if a person is having troubles with controlling how much alcohol he drinks. Simply defined, alcoholism is the addiction or dependence to alcohol. It is a pattern of alcohol use that is destructive, using alcohol longer than you planned or having troubles

Bullying is growing problem in Canada and the United States. In recent years bullying behavior has spawned needless school violence and adolescent suicides. This article details what the life of a bully is like and how it affects everyone involved. The life of a bully is not what it seems. On the outside, bullies appear dominant, confident, and sometimes even successful. Bullies come from all types of backgrounds and households. In a lot of ways, just about anyone can turn in

Getting in touch with your inner child is a process. There are both terrible and wonderful things that the child needs to tell us about childhood feelings. Much of what the child needs to tell us is buried in the unconscious. We were scolded or told to “forget it!” Our needs and ...

I’ve just returned home after another session with my Psychiatrist, today has really not gone well. I was asked to visit a place that had so many bad memories for me. Dealing with the sexual side of my rehabilitation is a killer. I know that I need this psychotherapeutic treatment, because I am drowning in my own pain. How do I put into words the shear agony that I feel inside when I revisit that place. It feels like someone is tearing out the very heart of me, leaving me fee

Are there causes of alcoholism other than the constant drinking itself? If you haven't read anything about alcoholism, it is reasonable to assume that you think, just like many other people think, the only cause for alcoholism is the steady drinking over time, thus alcoholics can only blame their own irresponsible behavior for their situation right? When it comes to alcoholism there are many other factors that come into play, such as biology, genetics, culture, and even gende

With the staggering amounts of rehab centers in Florida in place, it is difficult to determine which drug rehab program is best. For anyone who is dependent on drugs or alcohol looking for recovery, it's a choice that can change their lives. For anyone who has suffered through the devastating effects caused by drug or alcohol abuse, oftentimes they come to a point in their lives where all they want is to feel better. They ultimately make the choice to put down their drug of c

Why? It’s a questio I have been asked many times both personally and indirectly through my web page. So which why am I being asked here? There are so many whys in my past; it’s quite difficult to pin each one down. This scenario I am sure mirrors the lives of so many people, still unable to answer that particular question for themselves. Let’s now return to the start of this piece and deal with the said questio “would it not be easier to deal with the cause and not the afterm

pgs. = http://www.acoarecovery.com – Then click on SITE MAP ACoAs = adult-children of alcoholics & other abusersr A = Abandonmentrn(A) = Adultr As = Actions A/A = Abuse & Abandonment AC = Adapted Child AEC = Adult Ego State B = Boundaries B.P. = Bad Parent (same as IT) (C) = Child CDs = Cognitive Distortions CES = Child’s Ego State C-R = Cognitive Restructuring Es = Emotions E.S. = Ego States FoA = Fear of abandonmentr FoC = Fear of commitmentr FoO = Family of Originr FoV = Fear of Visibility

In the fall of 1986 someone said to me "You write very lyrically. Are you a poet?" I replied pretty vehemently, "No, no, I'm not a poet!" as if I was physically trying to push away the concept. I was also ignoring the fact that I had published poetry in a school literary magazine when I was in junior high. Several weeks later I remembered why I stopped writing poetry. Shortly after that, I composed the first poem I had written since I was 14 years old - and it explained why. Heartbeat My heart stopped beating when I was fourteen, Avoiding the pain that could rarely be seen.r

Addiction can ruin lives, derail dreams and finally, it can even kill. When you are living in the throes of your addiction can seem like there is no way out, and that no one can help you. Long term addiction can change a personality, ruin someone financially, separate you from your family and loved ones, and more. If you're mired down in addiction right now, it might seem like you're passing, or that it's something that you can take care of on your own. However, most people n

Emotional safety is vague when it isn’t there, and it’s ever so palatable when it is. What is being emotionally safe? And how does this serve as an indicator...an internal red flag of a potentially destructive relationship.nn What is emotional safety? nnEmotionally safe is a feeling that your inner most thoughts, feelings and experience are, and will be, honored as one honors themselves. You need not prove, nor impress; you just simply are. When it is present you

An Oscar-nominated documentary called “The Invisible War” tackles the seemingly taboo subject of rape and sexual assault in the military. ABC News covered a quick story of the documentary and featured three women who bravely volunteered their personal stories of being raped while enlisted in the military. But even with the release of such a documentary, these women (and men as well) need more artillery than that to stop such horrific incidents from occurring in the first

People ask me what kind of domestic abuse assessment screen helps someone who is abused to see the light. In providing assessments for thousands of people, I’m convinced that a tool that reveals the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships helps someone being abused to awaken to their circumstances. Further, identifying these subtle–and often unconscious –interaction patterns helps the abused partner recognize what keeps the abuse dynamic going