Browse Abuse and Recovery

MAKE THEM SUFFER ! The same way they made me suffer! This post, of course, is about those of us raised in a variety of abusive, dysfunctional families & communities AS CHILDREN a. Exte al CAUSES - Growing up, our parents & other adults: • blamed us unfairly, for all kinds of things (their problems, other kids’ bad behavior...), attacked & humiliated us, assuming the worst of us... • AND didn’t allow us to defend ourselves, didn’t believe us, never bothered to ask for our side of a situation, weren’t on our side or defended us b. Internal - All children:

When we understand narcissistic tendencies, we see how living through a False Self is a recipe for discontentment, anxiety and disappointment. Narcissistic tendencies such as needing approval, status and significance from ‘outside of self’ create a painful life. Rather than establishing being ‘full and content’, happiness is precariously balanced on what is or isn’t happening in the outside world - a place we have absolutely no control over. Narcissistic behavior is

Model, Mafia Wife, Mother, and Stunt Driver—has packed a lifetime of lessons into forty-eight years. This is the true story of one of Hollywood’s most successful female commercial stunt drivers. A woman who can dominate a two-ton vehicle at high speeds, but off road has careened from one emotional head-on collision to another. The story, told from a woman's point of view, chronicles the life of a battered woman as she struggles to break the abusive cycle while engineering

Throughout my childhood I received consistent messages that demonstrated the power of a dysfunctional family. The disease of my parents and abusers robbed me of my boundaries and individuality – the right to have a self. Remembering back now, through the years of oppression and sexual abuse, there was a spark that remained, gently flickering inside of me. This spark was the powerful need to become myself.

I once acted for a woman who had four children, ALL of whom were the victims of extreme Domestic Violence. In fact, by the time she came to see me she had already lost her eldest son to suicide brought about through extreme and repeated abuse inflicted by his father. I will never forget her distress and sorrow or the heart-wrenching plea she made to me as a lawyer. She had the three remaining children with her. With tears streaming down her face she begged me for help saying

Note: the real names of the author and her publisher are used with their permission. “Mr. Hays, I really loved the book your book, “Search For Peace.” I spent all weekend reading it, and I just couldn’t put it down. I’d like to talk to you about publishing it.” Those are thrilling words for a writer to hear from a publisher. It was hard to breathe, and I thought I was overwhelmed by the good news. Later I would come to realize I was terrified. ------r

It’s dark and I have no idea of where I am nothing around me looks Familiar, I can hear voices just out of eye shot. My head feels as if it may explode and I am fighting the urge to throw up. There is a swell of disinfectant hanging in the air which is not helping me much. I sit up in bed and try to take in my surroundings. I was not meant to be here, I had taken the decision to close my eyes for the very last time. I feel cheated; once more any control over my own life had b

Adult NPD Survivors Further Assaulted By Ignoramuses When people hear that I have chosen to have no contact with my highly toxic, aged mother and father they always tell me how sorry they feel for my parents. I can only assume that in me they see a happy, well-adjusted adult woman and must decide that I have chosen to afflict some sort of maliciously intended punishment on my poor defenseless parents. They cannot possibly understand how violated I feel hearing them defend th

I have just been asked by my counsellor about my sexuality, a questio I have been waiting for that took its time to arrive. The answer has been in my mind for so long waiting to be announced. I truthful didn’t know. So what were my options here? It seems through choice that I am Heterosexual, Bisexual or Lesbian. It all sounds so very clean cut, all the boxes ticked in the right place. The problem I am having, is that not one box has been ticked within me. The three most prom

How much is too much? There is always a lot of debate about this inside the families of Addicts and Alcoholics. Of course, the Users always defend their selves and claim that they can, "quit anytime I decide that I want to." But, just what is too much? The treatment field gauges this by ...

My entire life has been a cycle of wanting to live with vengeance and needing to numb the constant pai I feel. Pain that I found unbearable. Numbing entailed irresponsibility. Denial. Aloofness. Any way to keep myself from feeling fledging terror and anger has been my modus operandi. The hurt. ...

I’m sitting in a big room that makes me feel so small I don’t even recognize the man sitting in front of me but he seems to know all about me by their conversation. My mum is telling him about the fact that I have started wetting the bed, how could she tell this stranger that about me? I feel so ashamed each night fighting harder and harder to stay awake until my eyes were stinging; the covers over my head as I have convinced myself that something came in the night to make th

"Help Your Child Overcome School Stress" Written by Mark Dworkin LCSW www.markdworkin.com After “No Child Left Behind” from the Bush era, the public schools drastically changed. For better or worse, they have changed. Now kids begin routine standardized testing in elementary school nation-wide. This puts a lot of stress on kids today at a very young age, when they are still learning how to cope with stressors.

After a DUI arrest, your whole life feels thrown off course. A single mistake could cost you your career and future, but it doesn’t have to. Although having a DUI on your criminal record (or a criminal record at all, for that matter) could complicate certain things, a DUI arrest is also a learning opportunity.rnWhen you want to move forward after a DUI, here are four steps you can take to start moving in the right direction. Follow Through with Legal Obligations Whatever yo

Verbal abuse, as well as emotional abuse, result in wounds and scars deep within. In the following interview we look at the impact upon the victim and offer recommendations for her surviving and thriving beyond the battering. nnThe following is part two of an interview with Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviewing Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., leading expert in the subtle communication patterns of battering relationships.nn 1) KATE CARLSON : What would you tell a person who is being verbal

There is a method that any person can use, in any situation, to overcome any addiction immediately. That is a powerful statement - one that you might have a hard time believing. The very idea seems rather ridiculous, doesn’t it? I am not just talking about the more common addictions such as alcohol, drugs and tobacco. I am including in this statement all addictions. These would include addictions to overeating - sex -gambling - any so-called 'vice'. It does not matter what t

This letter was written in response to a bogus intervention, as chronicled in the post "The Betrayal." What I did to deal with my anger is written in the post "Anger Contract."

I grew up in a very violent and dysfunctional home. I endured many abuses that haunt me to this day! I believed, that when I left home at 15 years old, I was leaving behind the agony, pain and confusion of my family. But there was still so much suffering within me that I had not recognized and reconciled.nn The affects of my abuse began to surface when I was diagnosed with SLE at sixteen. My first thoughts when I was diagnosed with Lupus were, "See, I am nothing, I am nobody,

This situation for me was something I had to contend with for many years. The room is full but for me it may as well have been empty. All I can hear is white noise, were they talking to me? Why would they want to talk to me? Someone asks me if I am ok but the voice seems so far away, somewhat like a distant echo. I am stuck within my mind. Why does the world not stop turning, there is nothing out there but pain and sorrow. All of a sudden the room becomes full, people crowdin

Technology has brought about a change in how we look at employment today. Problem is colleges still tell students to look for jobs with corporations, that no longer exist. Those jobs went out with the BABY BOOMER Generation. When employees went to work with Corporations back in the 50's, ...

("He" in this text - to mea "He" or "She"). We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu. It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the tra

We hear it all the time: “You’re not responsible for your abuser’s battering behavior.” Yet, victims of domestic abuse spend an inordinate amount of time trying to alter this behavior. Fix it. Change it. Account for it.nnOften, and usually unknowingly, this invites three deadly mistakes victims of domestic abuse make in their abusive relationships.nn 3 deadly mistakes of shouldering the responsibility for battering behavior nn 1) From others: nYou inadvertently tell b

A 12-year old South Carolina boy was shot and killed while trick or treating on October 31. Members of his family were shot and injured. Werner Lippe, a 66-year old jeweler, has confessed to killing his wife and disposing of the body. Four men have been charged with the deadly shooting of ...

There are times in my life where I do not question my decision to be sober. I would say this is about 99% of the time, to be honest. The beauty and decisiveness in my life has become apparent due to the decisions I have made. Overall, I am absolutely in agreement with my heart and ...

Guilt is not a primary emotion, like anger, joy, sadness... But it is one of the most intense & often-felt emotions by ACoAs. It is a familiar companion of negative self-talk & to actions we believe to be bad, but may not be. Guilt is connected to self-hate: since our default position is that we’re intrinsically bad, anything & everything that goes wrong for us is OUR FAULT. This leads to perfectionism - the obsession about being soooo good, without flaws - that we’ll finally be loved, accepted, understood... BY WHOM? Of course - our family --- & then everyone else in the whole world !

Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe?nnNot necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And they feel worn down, confused, taken advantage of... nnWhat often happens is these women engage in their relationship with their legal representation just as they engaged in relation t

The information and internet are packed with activities of sex-related neglect. Whether it be an elderly people woman, the next entrance next entrance neighbor boy across the street or a efficient young entrepreneur, no one is stored from the chance of being very well abused. It does not have to come by means of sex-related strike or only one occurrence. There are many other types, some that are ongoing, that are just as serious. These are just a few of the side effects a per

The memory is in the muscle. We hear people vividly taste remnants of the feelings surrounding old trauma when faced with a trigger of the context in which that original trauma was experienced. It’s truly as though the memory is in the muscle.nnWe know this phenomenon to be characteristic of post-traumatic stress. What’s unclear for many is how the emotional memory remains dormant in the psyche and in the tissue over months, years and decades.nnIt is as though all of the

Getting in touch with the inner child is a process. There are both terrible and wonderful things that the child needs to tell us about childhood feelings. Much of what the child needs to tell us is buried in the unconscious. We were scolded or told to “forget it!” Our needs and hurts were ...

Reading through a book named as Human Trafficking by Courtney Farrell regarding Human Trafficking in relation to Modern Slavery, I was shocked by listening to a story in the beginning of the book which tells about a nine year old girl Williathe Narcisse, who was a slave in Haiti before she arrived in the southern United states to work for her new owners there. In United States, she cleaned house for her mistress, worked in her master’s business and was abused sexually by th

Coffee is a widespread hot beverage and also an additive in some foodstuffs. Its high prevalence is possible because of several factors, such as its common international availability and affordability, the absence of alcohol in the raw coffee, and the ease with which the beverage is prepared. In terms of culture, it does not attract the same censure as some other substances. For example, societies which do not consume alcohol may consume substantial amounts of coffee. Anybody

BULLYINGrnBullying meaning Bullying means a behaviour which someone uses to hurt another both physically and mentally. Bullying at its basic form is when someone is picked on by a person or group called bullies, because of one being different. This behaviour happens when there is real or perceived power over another.rnThis arrogant behaviour when repeated will have a long-lasting physiological impact on both persons. Bully is defined as those who abuse, make fun of, aggressiv

Intimate partner violence is best avoided by understanding emotional verbal abuse and the warning signs of an abusive relationship. In an effort to help educate people and increase awareness of verbal abuse, Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviews Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.nnKate Carlson: Throughout the progressive stages of verbal abuse, is there a typical pattern you have observed through your years of experience? If so, what are the typical patterns a batterer uses and/or does there se

I would also like to share this story with you. Whilst emailing talk shows I sent an email to a particular lady host. It was strange as it took me some time to find her email address, but something told me to keep looking. Once found I emailed her. Within ten minutes I received an urgent reply, and the response was something I could never have hoped or dreamed of. It seems that her son had tried to kill himself the previous week. After a few emails back and forth I rang her o

For several years, the VA has been under fire for repeated instances of negligence. Reports released by CBS in 2013 revealed that medical professionals associated with the VA prescribed 259% more narcotics than in 2002, and that individualized therapy had fallen by the wayside. An affiliate of the VA explained anonymously in a TV interview how prescribing narcotics made it easier to “move along and get to the next patient” in a more timely fashion than taking the time to

When is the best time to grab a victim out of an abusive relationship? There are two points of intervention. That is, there are two times when she/he is MOST amenable to leaving the abusive relationship. nn What are these times? nn1) Before she/he settles into the relationship and becomes part of the dynamic, andn2) Immediately after an altercation, whether verbal or physical. nnThe first is obvious. It’s always easier to end something before it begins, right? That’s why

They say victims of domestic abuse come in all shapes and sizes, yet have some very distinct commonalities characteristic of being in an abusive relationship.nnAbusive spouses, on the other hand, come in two very distinct breeds. What are they?nn Two Kinds of Batterers: nnThere are those that bully in a crude and sloppy way, and those that bully in a slick and contrived way. nnThe more crude bully displays intermittent explosive behavior from his/her narcissistic vantage poin

Taking care of ones Heart and overall health is important to living a long and prosperous life. It is true, Heart Disease can run in families, but there are things the average person can do to try and avoid and Heart complications. -First, many people don't realize how important exercise really is. Even if you don't have any exercise equipment in the home, just walking around the block a few times can serve the purpose. Not only does exercise help digestion and burn off calories, it improves the circulatory system and contributes to the mental well being of a person.

Myth of Silence Silence as a survival tool. Generations of children have been sexually abused. It was done to them in secret and they remain silent. Not talking about the painful childhood experiences has been a survival tool. The shame and secrecy that surrounds sexual abuse of children keeps everyone silent. This was not your fault! Getting help and support is an essential and practical way of dealing with childhood sexual abuse. It is not a sign of weakness and failure. Sharing the Pain

Verbal abuse in marriage makes for a toxic home. You feel it in the air, smell it in your living space, see its brutal impact on yourself as well as on little ones dependent upon you.nnYou know this from the core of your being, yet when victimized by verbal abuse in marriage, there is a tendency to sweep the big elephant under the carpet, and hope and pray you won’t trip over him.nnHere are three deadly mistakes one can make by hiding from verbal abuse in your marriage.nn 1

Domestic abuse victims heal and transform themselves at different rates. You can tell when their recovery process remains in progress, yet to be completed. And if you are a domestic violence survivor, you know when you’re still wearing that “I’m a Victim” hat.nnHere are some tell-tale signs that you are still fulfilling the role of victimization. If you catch yourself...nn1) Looking for free lunchnn2) Seeking to please other people for approvalnn3) Believing your acti

A commentary on the 2007 World Drug Report from the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime by Keith Codenn The 2007 World Drug Report released this week by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, has good news for everyone fighting the war on drugs - the "run away train of drug addiction has slowed down." But lest we err in thinking the problem is licked, the report also bluntly states that one out of every 200 people in the world is "ruled by drugs." That means addic

What is Abundance? Maybe we need to rethink abundance. I lived my first nine years in England, from 1944 to 1953. In all those years we were under rationing. Food was doled out frugally, to the point that my sister and I suffered from malnutrition. Automobiles were scarce, we never got a television or a refrigerator, yet we had all we needed for life, and it felt just fine. When we came to the United States we entered a world of an abundance of goods, services, infinite landscapes, a seeming inexhaustible supply of wonderful things.

Why did this happen to me? How could God let it happen to me? These are the questions we often ask ourselves when we are victims of any kind of abuse...whether it be spousal abuse or stranger abuse. Now that I have your attention, allow me to introduce myself. I am Loretta Hall, victim of both spousal abuse and a survivor of a sexual abuse crime. At the present time, I am a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping people overcome the residual effects of abuse. Through

People who seem overconfident or too interested in themselves are often called narcissistic. Narcissism is a thought and behaviour pattern that involves many negative elements including: • Overconfidencern• Fascination with the selfrn• Excess self-lovern• Vanityrn• Self-absorptionrn• Self-centerednessrn• Smugnessrn• Egocentrism While narcissism is a serious mental problem in adults, it is completely normal in children and is actually a necessary part of childh

Whether you’re newly sober or still battling cravings after years of abstinence, it is possible to make it through even the roughest days. For many recovering addicts, morning is the most difficult time of day--cravings seem worse, withdrawal symptoms are sharper, and willpower seems nonexistent. There are a number of steps you can take to start every day drug free--ensuring that the rest of the day goes smoother, as well. Tips to Start Your Day Drug-Free While rehabilitati

For someone who has never had a problem with alcohol, it can be difficult to understand why someone cannot simply stop drinking. Doing battle with a true addiction is never going to be easy, which is why an alcohol rehab center can be so beneficial. What to Expect from an Alcohol Rehab Center The process of withdrawal and the subsequent symptoms can often be enough to scare addicts into not going through it. This detoxification process is necessary to remove any alcohol from

Humans grow at a substantial rate from birth to adulthood. With growing comes growing pains. We all remember the pain that our joints, muscles, brains, and emotions caused us as teenagers. But did you know that if you excessively use drugs and/or alcohol as a teenager, you stop maturing? Drugs can hinder the functioning of a person’s brain, especially in areas such as thinking and reasoning skills. For example, someone who has never experimented with drugs might learn from

Many people might think that only major conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder denote mental illness. However, many common symptoms like anxiety, sadness, mood swings and insomnia indicate poor mental health and often signify underlying conditions. Using drugs can make these feelings worse, but even people who initially have good mental health can jeopardize their way of life when they use drugs. Short-Term Impacts People often start using drugs because of the ini