Codependency Articles

Here are more specific tips to finding a diet that will sustain your body in stressful times, and contribute to a sense of peace and wellness: • Eat a diet composed of 50 to 75 percent raw foods. Free fruits and vegetables not only supply valuable vitamins and minerals, but are rich in ...

Gators and other wild animals have gotten the extravagant of many pet and emotional support animals. These animals are considered as outlandish pets by numerous and pay a great many dollars to bring them home. In any case, is it extremely justified, despite all the trouble? Is bringing these wold animals home is a reasonable and advantageous choice? We question it. Gators, snakes, crocodiles, tigers, lions, and bears are wild animals and in numerous states, keeping them as pe

Unless we live in a cabin isolated from the world, grow our own veggies, and paint all day, we pretty much rely on our left brain (logical, technical, verbal brain) to live our lives, and even then we would still need our left brain to carry out life’s most basic functions. It is when we predominantly use our left brain and shut out our right brain experience (instinctual, intuitive, empathic, feeling, creative brain) that our existence is out of balance and we don’t do so well.

What makes your relationship special? What is it about your relationship that makes you happy? What do you appreciate the most about your partner’s essence? How does your partner’s essence enrich your life?

Here is the thing, a lot of people don’t know how to be High Performers, the Masters of their lives. Most people don’t know how to create the most from their lives by increasing productivity, creativity, peacefulness, joy, love and connection… They don’t know how to stay healthy, have increased vitality, and feel amazing most of the time… Actually, they might know but haven’t learned the self-discipline to pursue this with gusto for great results…

Have you noticed that when you are really close to what you want or to the next level in your life, things seem to go wrong?

I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and mechanically going through their days. They cannot benefit from their inherent synergy and gifts because they do not have a vision of how they want their future to be, never mind a plan for getting there. Going through life without a plan is like going on a road trip without a map, you will not enjoy the ride!

Our body is not just a receptacle that houses our Self. It is how the Self manifests itself. The flesh that we refer to as our body is actually all-knowing pulsating molecular energy. the material of the Self, our Being. Here we store information such as our histories, experiences, their impact, our wishes and desires, feelings, and have access to Knowledge, choices, best options, outcomes, a sense of others and community, and even love.

When we are in a vulnerable place, triggered, overextended, overwhelmed, stressed, hormonal, whatever, we function from a less than resourceful state and therefore can very easily fall prey to negative thinking, victimization, sabotaging, undermining, deprecating, blaming, abuse, neglect, and rejection of self and others. When in this state we cannot see the good, the beautiful, and what is working. We only focus on the bad, inviting more bad.

Sometimes we feel stuck and hopeless. We look at our life and relationship and wonder, What happened? This is not what I set out to create. Somewhere along the way you lost your path, you lost your self. And now, you have no idea where you want to go and how to get yourself there. You might even blame your partner for the lack of progress in your life and relationship. You can’t get your partner to do what you want. Stop trying. It won’t work – you can’t tell others what to do; they are not responsible for your happiness.

How Do You Show Your Commitment? I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and mechanically going through their days. They cannot benefit from their inherent synergy and gifts because they do not have a vision of how they want their future to be, never mind a plan for getting there. Going through life without a plan is like going on a road trip without a map, you will not enjoy the ride!

The state of our country is kicking most of our people’s butts… If you’ve been feeling specially overwhelmed, tired, unmotivated, hopeless, cranky or such you are certainly not alone… We are just not used to this kind of sustained global impact on our way of life… It is taxing our emotional bandwidth… It is not conducive to thriving…

Every once in a while we need to acknowledge how far we’ve come in our relationship. Think back on how things were, when you were having a hard time in your relationship and had not started making a conscious and guided effort to make things better.

Most couples can revitalize their relationship after they’ve lost desire for each other and/or after being in their non-sexual relationship (10 sexual encounters a year (less than one per month) for a while, even for decades! This is good news! These dissatisfied couples loose hope of ever having an interesting, stimulating and satisfying relationship with their partner that includes a healthy sexual component. This does not have to be the case!!

While moving out of a family household can sometimes feel like a confusing experience, the truth is that a bit of planning can go a long way towards helping you claim your independence and purchase a new house. And as many new buyers are discovering, now is a great time to purchase a first home. Here are just four easy steps towards buying your own place, and why the process might be easier than you think! List Your Priorities To find a home that you can afford, you'll want t

What do you usually think of when you think of the f word? We probably both think of the same four-letter word, but for today let’s make our f word a more meaningful word. F is for Focus. F is for Freedom. I’ve written before that what we focus on persists. What we focus on either enables us or enslaves us. We have the power to create our awesome ongoing experience. All we have to do is choose. We have to exercise our freedom of choice. This applies to everything in our lives.

In our society Freedom is one of our most valuable assets and one we tend to take for granted. How we perceive and define our freedom is directly correlated to our sense of power and our ability to design the relationship and life we want. When we get stuck looking at our situation with a murky set of glasses and limited parameters, it is inevitable that we’d feel stuck, boxed in, without options, and even controlled. It is crucial to your well-being to explore your definition of freedom and expand your parameters. If you have a limited perspective, you’ll get a limited outcome!

Do you remember when you were a kid and wanted something really badly? Whether you nagged someone to death to get it, or tried, rehearsed, or practiced incessantly you knew what it would take to get it and went for it. As kids we knew that repeating actions got results: learning to ride a bike, swim, dive, run faster or longer, speak another language, play an instrument, make baskets, ace tests, drive, beat a game, etc. Somehow as we got older we learned to expect quick results, or give up after a couple of tries. Long gone are the days of trial and error, persistence and perseverance.

Overcoming Codependency Balanced, healthy relationships are reciprocal—each person cares for the other, and each person also cares for their own self. Though each may depend on the other for things like love, companionship, and practical help they also provide these things to the other person. No relationship is perfectly balanced. However, healthy relationships include a dynamic of both give and take from each person involved. What is Codependency? Codependency can be def

Physical activity can clear your mind and keep stress under control. Some people like to run or walk by themselves, while others prefer team sports or group workouts. Any type of exercise will do the trick, as long as it is regular. Exercising once a month will not do much to relieve stress. ...

There is more to us than meets the eyes… We have an internal world operating at all times that we are vaguely aware of. Some people are totally out of touch with theirs… The more we become acquainted with our own Self and all it’s aspects, needs and desires the more we can be our Authentic Self and create our Authentic Life and Awesome Relationship.

Happy New Year! The promise of new beginnings is just beyond alluring, is it not? Whether you are rocking it or are struggling, a new ride is just fun! We’ve had a heck of a 2020, and though there is light at the end of the tunnel 2021 is off to a slow start. I say we go with the flow, with tenderness and compassion. I say we glide into the new year with ease. Tenderness, compassion and ease does not mean taking it easy, being lazy or dragging butt! It just means doing it right and with finesse…r

Isn’t it sad that most couples are not happy or that relationships are barely working as the partners wish? I attribute this to a lack of courage, to fear. For you see, we tend to lead with our defenses, protection and ego in our relationship. We are not attractive when we use our porcupine mode to approach our partner. Then we wonder how come we don’t get what we desire.

It is a phenomenon when we feel energized, connected, and alive past the infatuation stage of our relationship.

It was incredibly nice disconnecting from the usual during our Spring Break… Even when life is grand it’s nice to change things up. I found myself not interested on being on my phone or any other electronic device. It was a struggle checking-in on things and people. It felt like being pulled from a magical dream. This experience was perfect as it resonated with today’s topic of Detoxing… You know I have to cover it as soon as Spring comes about. LOL Detoxing is a magnificent way of shedding off anything unwanted that has accumulated over time.

Money. Money is a hot topic in many relationships as there are intense emotions attached to money as well as a range of meaning around it. Partners have different ideas about the importance of money, what it means to them, its purpose, its role, how to manage it, and even how to earn it! Couples are made up of two individuals that have different backgrounds, exposure, experience and relationship with money. Their parents had different relationships with money and gave them different messages around money. Partners form different patterns and habits in their management of money.

People are obsessed with the difficulties in their relationship, they just keep thinking about it and hurting over it. They put too much negative mental energy into it. I don’t really blame them as I know it is very difficult and painful to be in a relationship that just keeps hurting them, but one gets out what one puts in. Negativity begets negativity.

Without even realizing or knowing how it happened sometimes couples find that they have gotten themselves stuck in a rut. This is very common and it can happen cyclically in the relationship. The couple’s rhythm inevitably sets this up to happen. Some things that affect this phenomenon include:

Do you find that you have so many demands and responsibilities calling for your attention and resources that sometimes you feel like crawling under a rock and going to sleep for a millennium? Do you find that everyone wants a piece of you? Your kids have practical, social, intellectual and emotional needs. Your home needs tending and your family life has a ton of minutia to be managed. Your social calendar, extra-curricular activities and other commitments grab at you at every corner. Your job, business, or profession takes the bulk of your attention and energy.

Continuing with our Freedom theme, picking-up where we left off with reparenting around Fathering/Discipline (to reprogram ourselves), and combining it with more Summer goodness. Why not?

The Holiday Season is here! This time of year is usually challenging regardless of how crazy the world is out there. What makes this season usually more challenging is that we trip into it and get sucked into the hecticness. This sets us up for chaos, being stretched too thin, overwhelm, drama, and too much noise. Where we end up neglecting, and even abusing, ourselves trying to get it all done or managing what comes up... This is the perfect formula for us to turn to numbing for coping with stress during the holidays…r When we turn to numbing, we actually make things worse…

Does it feel like we are turning a leaf to you? It feels like that to me, so grateful, though we are still dealing with significant restrictions around here. I know some are feeling burnt out with all pandemic related topics and impact. I know some are enjoying aspects of the temporary new normal. I know some are still getting their bearings as this thing threw them for a loop. I know some days are better than others. I know most are wondering what the future brings…

The season of renewal is finally here and with it comes an invitation to awaken to life. Note the blue skies, the sun shining, birds chirping, flowers blooming. What an enchanting time to be alive. The possibilities are countless.

Partners look at what they contribute to their joint life as what they contribute to their relationship. These things usually include earnings and taking care of the family and home. But, what would you say you contribute to the relationship if you couldn’t include these? How do you invest in becoming a better partner? How do you nurture your partner? How do you nurture the relationship? How do you invest in feeling each other and creating intimacy? How do you invest in enjoying each other?

Giving in whatever manner tickles our heart is a significant path to feeling happiness. Our Giving doesn’t just touch others’ hearts and maybe even meet their needs with our gestures. Our Giving is also good for us. The act of giving and being generous stimulates the same neural network that light up when we feel physical pleasure… This week gives us a great opportunity to Give in additional ways. #GivingTuesday has become a significant part of the holiday experience. Did you participate yet? What causes are dear to your heart?

Couples that are experiencing a low in their relationship usually refer to it as having communication issues and not getting along. They bicker and fight, fights escalate and then there is shutdown, they don’t see eye-to-eye and can’t seem to get on the same page, they struggle to get their needs met, everything is a tit-for-tat or keeping score, and they just can’t enjoy each other. They feel disconnected and alone. Intimacy is but a faraway dream. Does this resonate for you? Are you wondering how to get back your connection and intimacy?r

We are just days away from Valentine’s Day. Are you embracing the Love Month? Is your whole house decorated pink like mine is? Haha, just kidding! You believed that though, didn’t you? Yes, I’m known to be a hopeless romantic and to love the Love Season. Yes, I love the pink and the red. And yes, I love the cliché things about VDay. I don’t love the commercialization of it, and when I encourage clients, subscribers and followers to embrace VDay I’m not referring to this aspect of it. I’m referring to taking advantage of this opportunity to play with Love. Why not?

Mid-March – how about them apples? Times flies when you are having fun, or are too busy! LOL Hopefully it’s the former for you. How is it going? Having a good week? Having a good month (March can be rough on people)? Having a good quarter…? As we are quickly approaching the end of Q1, this is a perfect time to check if we are on track for the year. This might be tough to face if you were slow getting started with your new year’s strategy.

When couples struggle it is very common to find that the partners have not yet found a way to honor and support each other in genuine, compassionate and generous ways. Partners share that they have tried it all and are tired of not getting anything back, getting their needs met, nor being able to create an awesome relationship. They participate in their relationship with an ego (fear-based, selfish, and self-centered) approach. These partners have difficulties letting go and trusting their partner.

I like to get into Spring Mode early to extend the warmer seasons as much as possible… It’s harder to do when the weather wants to continue to show its winter colors though. LOL But it’s nothing that a Spring Bucket List can’t fix! Are you with me? Let’s leave winter behind regardless of what is happening out there. I did some research on Spring Bucket Lists to prepare for this issue and found most of them a little basic and dull. I think you and I can create our own much better list. Are you up for it?

Many couples operate under the assumption that being in a relationship means to be bossed around, told what to do, and to loose their personal freedom and choices. I have heard references to young couples getting engaged as “he bit the bullet” and other similar degrading remarks. I’m sure you have heard before couples complain about how their partner wants to change and control them and references to partners being “trained,” “whipped,” “on a short leash,” etc. All these really set up the stage to struggle in one’s relationship.

Is lack of trust undermining your connection with your partner and wrecking havoc in your relationship? Lack of trust might extend to beliefs that your partner is cheating. Or it can be as simple as not trusting your partner to be there, follow through, keep their word, be accountable, get your back, do the right thing by you, be mindful, thoughtful, and honorable. The level of distrust has to do with our own insecurities, but also the level of our partner showing up authentically. When we both address our side of the coin this becomes a non-issue!

Have you noticed that when you are really close to what you want or to the next level in your life, things seem to go wrong?

Couples get stuck in how they relate in their relationship and no matter how they try to get unstuck, to meet their needs and to create a satisfying relationship, they just get more and more buried in dissatisfaction.

Have you noticed that whatever you are dealing with, more of it shows up in your life? It can even start to feel like the universe is playing a joke on you. Have you had that experience? Of course, it’s awesome when this applies to good stuff in our lives. Not so much when the repeating item is frustrating, painful or generally negative.

How are you doing? Hope you are keeping the momentum from the New Year going… As I’m sure you already know, right about now people start floundering with their New Year Resolutions, Intentions and the like… Tomorrow is the 3rd Monday of the New Year and known as Blue Monday… The end-of-year drive, the holidays merriment and the new year’s excitement all but come crashing down… This is when back to reality hits us like a ton of bricks.

As we witness our country get ravished by this pandemic, and what seems the worst is yet to come, we have to prepare to weather the storm. To ride the wave… To make sure we can hang on to hope, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and to look for the silver lining… I know it’s very challenging to do that as things get worse.

Have you gotten over yourself, evicted your Ego, yet? Are you full steam ahead? Are you all in? Are you fully committed to really giving it your all, to throwing your whole Self in? Are you fully committed to kicking some serious butt, to creating an extraordinary life and awesomest relationship? Do these questions scare you? Do you feel a wave of terror cursing through your body? Do you feel your insides shaking? Do you feel frozen or paralyzed? Do you feel like a protagonist in a film playing in slow motion, or like you are walking in molasses?

Something that is amazingly striking is how vulnerable we are in all aspects of our humanness. And, how hard we can be on ourselves (and with others!) to top it off! In the stories I hear through the work, and also in plain old conversations with people, I hear the constant criticism, lack mentality, negativity, focus on what’s “wrong”, and the like. Gosh, it makes for an awful stay in that mental space rental. LOLrnr

Often times we say we want to do such and such, make this change, implement a new habit or routine, yet we don’t follow through or stick with it. This is because we are grabbing ideas out of thin air as they sound cool or as a result of a frustration. The impulsive nature of this approach almost guarantees we won’t stick with the idea. Regardless of how ingenious and awesome it is. To make changes and create what we want, we have to be driven by our Values.