Grief and Loss Articles

During grief you may find your mood swinging back and forth between guilt and anger. Or you may feel depression and anxiety shifting quickly inside. These mood swings can cause you to feel stuck and confused about your grief.nnYou may find yourself directing anger at yourself or at your deceased loved one or perhaps another person. You may feel guilty about things said or left unsaid.nnAnxiety and depression can keep your stress level high during grief. It may be difficult to

Recently, I found myself feeling anxious and depressed. For several days, I attempted to analyze why I was feeling this way and what I could do to feel better. I questioned, “Would it help to go back to therapy or to get a massage? Maybe I just need to write more.” Feeling uncomfortable, I wanted a quick fix. But, what I found was that the more I resisted how I was feeling, the worse I felt.

This article is about a brand new book called "Success is a State of Mind" (available at www.mymeaningfullife.com") and it is a compilation of interviews of people who have made a difference in the lives of others. Each person has a unique way of interpreting success....and we have all the ...

I had the opportunity to work with the practices of mindfulness meditation after my beloved cat and soul companio Lily died. After experiencing Lily’s death, I had a fleeting urge to go unconscious – sleep, eat, drink wine, whatever. As a grief counselor and mindfulness meditation ...

Recovering from grief after a significant emotional loss is hard enough without the added pain when the death is the result of murder, suicide, or a disease such as AIDS. The feelings of being emotionally, mentally, or even socially isolated from the people and events around us,usually experienced by a griever, are compounded when the loved one dies at the hands of another, by her/his own hands, or from a socially stigmatized disease. Family and friends are often fearful of what others might think or say, or ashamed of the circumstances of the love one's death.

Sympathy for the Younger Widowrn rnSometimes the unexpected happens. The young wife or husband loses their spouse before their life even had time to get started. This is one of those times where you must be extra careful of what you say. While you may have mixed feelings yourself, you should avoid making comments like “it’s good thing you didn’t have children” or “at least you didn’t spend your whole life together.” Saying these things can be so hurtful, and onl

If you have lost a loved one, or if someone you know is grieving, you might find yourself wondering ‘What are these five stages of grief I keep hearing about?’ and how they relate to you. Let me explain a little more about the five stages. nnAuthor Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – a much respected grief expert who was also one of the pioneers of hospice in the US – wrote the definitive book on this subject, On Death and Dying, over thirty years ago. When people discuss the st

Be strong, time heals, move on, are phrases that we may hear when we suffer a loss and may hinder our grieving process. Because grief is the normal expression of a loss, but it is not easily recognized in society, we may internalize some of these messages which could interfere with our healing process because we learn to suppress our pain. This message of denying one’s pain may come, with the best intention, from a person with authority, such as a parent, a doctor, or even a religious leader. It is as though we are not allowed to grieve and we bury all those feelings inside of us.

Is the anger over the way your loved one was treated by the medical community eating you up? Or, are you angry at those who should have helped you in the last days of your loved one’s life, but were nowhere to be found? How can you reduce the intensity of your anger and then let it go? There are ...

Lack of Sleep or Interrupted Sleep nYou lie awake for hours and are not able to fall asleep OR you wake up regularly during the night. Maybe you wake up in the early hours of the morning and are not able to go back to sleep. This leaves you feeling tired and listless for the rest of the day. n Restlessness nYou find it difficult to calm your mind from the ongoing turmoil that you are going through and are not able to “switch off”. n Tearfulness nYou might find yourself wa

Abstract In order to be an excellent coach one has to acquire valuable skills to provide the best service to the client. It is my purpose, with this paper, to introduce the concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) as an effective tool in coaching, for both the client and the coach. Many trainers, managers, and teachers use the principles of NLP to promote personal growth as it offers a framework which empowers the person to be the most he or she can be.

The trauma resulting from my near death, passing of my mother-in-law, mother, father, and unborn son was a real strain on our marriage. Michael and I had married just 6 months before the losses began, and I felt robbed of a normal honeymoon period. Making matters worse was our drastically differing coping styles: I was openly a wreck while he did not express as much angst. This difficulty was compounded by the fact that I was in more anguish than he was. Michael, unfortunatel

When faced with grief we often ask, “When will I begin to feel better? When will I return to normal? When will I be able to breathe again? When will I achieve some closure?” The idea of closure in our culture is one of tidy endings, a sense of completion. The reason we long for closure, of course, is because we would like to be rid of this pain. We would like to shut out the sad, confused, desperate, angry feelings from our lives, putting all of this pain behind us so that we can feel joy again.r

At a distance we noticed a hawk flying. In the next moment, it headed straight towards us and circled over head. Smiling, I knew that Kyle was with us as we celebrated the 13-year anniversary of his death. We made a ritual of hiking to his tree, a small oak ling; we planted in his honor, a year after he passed. I hadn’t been there in three years, so was happy to see how the tree had filled out and was big enough to provide shade for me and my family, protecting us from the scorching sun.

This week has been full of surprising passages -- Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and several others who are loved and revered by millions. Both those close to these individuals and people all around the world mourn. Flowers can help us in many ways to let go of grief and shift to feeling the free flow of love again. Lavender has a slightly different approach to helping ease our feelings of grief.rnIn this month's AARP magazine, there's an article about Irish Lee Underwood an

Defining Soul Pain I am often asked to define soul pain. While it is not an easy thing to define, I have come to acknowledge that soul pain is the sum total of the physical, mental, emotional and social distress experienced following a tragic life event. And yet, it is more than that. It is more than the sum of the distress of these human aspects. Soul pain is a crisis of the human spirit. It is suffering of the deepest kind. It is a plague deep within. It is a wrestle with

The famous Swiss psychiatrist, Carl G. Jung, said what we deny, fear or don’t address consciously will visit us as fate. I agree and believe, too, if we don’t manifest our intentions, we will manifest our fears. Many people believe therapy is about resolving a crisis or healing a traumatic ...

Your tears have not yet dried. You haven't had time to experience your deep feelings about your loved one's suicide. In many ways, you're still in shock. Nevertheless, death, like anything else, has its own practicalities that must be accomplished. You, your family members and your loved one's friends need closure for the loss and grief they're feeling. nnAs if being a suicide survivor isn't enough, you must also deal with your loved one's funeral or memorial service, burial

Unavoidable suffering is a condition of existence, a part of the mystery that shrouds every life. It is usually the result of broken attachments to those we love or the loss of something cherished. It cannot be prevented because death and perpetual change are uncontrollable givens of living. On ...

Most people are concerned regarding the destiny or fate of their departed loved one. Oftentimes, fear and apprehension arise regarding what will happen after death and what might happen to our dear loved ones. Is he safe---or is she happy at last? Will we ever see or meet or be with each other all over again—if ever? So how could those inspiring funeral poems help or support in bringing peace of mind and heart after a sudden loss or death of persons close to our hearts? Mak

When you open yourself up to love, you open yourself up to loss. When you suffer a loss, you will experience the painful emotion we call grief. It's a natural response to loss yet to the person going through this afflictive emotion, the experience feels overwhelming. I would like to help you understand that going through it means it is a process not an event and, depending on the personal connection you have to the loss, it is very individual.

It was 1992. Four years had lapsed since my daughter Katie's diagnosis of a brain tumor. She was now healthy and back working in New York City. Because my mate al stress levels were greatly relaxed, my professional dreams began to reemerge. It was time to think about making them come true.

Coping strategies for depression.. Even the most positive and pro active person can find it is very difficult to climb past the problems and feelings that come with suffering from depression. There are all sorts of things to think of. Not just how you feel, but how others see you and how it affects your normal every day life. A mother might find it very hard to do something as simple as changing a nappy or bathing their baby, things that before the illness took hold of them w

Guy Fawks night is the British equivalent of the 4th July—well almost. Fireworks certainly spill into the night skies above every town in the country. Held on the 5th November its usually a chilly night with spectators wrapped up in hats, scarves, gloves and coats, grateful for the raging bonfire that is typically the centerpiece of the night, as they huddle together, necks craning to Ahhhh and Oooooh at the pyrotechnic display of twinkling lights overhead. I remember one of these festive nights in particular.

“What you resist persists” is an old psychological saying that is especially applicable to anyone when mou ing the death of a loved one. In other words, trying to repress feelings, “be strong” or pretend you are doing well when you are not, will guarantee that pain will spill out in unexpected ...

Recently, I joined a group of women to journal, meditate and share about our intentions for the New Year. It was suggested that we come up with one or two words to describe our deepest intention underlying all of our desired outcomes. The words that I chose were…“Joyful Creation.” More than anything, I desire to create from a deep place of joy. Inevitably areas of my life where I have not been creating from joy have quickly been revealed to me.

They are everywhere you go--at work, in the family, among friends, at the church and synagogue. They are difficult, annoying, irritating people. You want to avoid them, but no matter where you go, thee they are. The fact is, they are playing their part PERFECTLY by allowing you to figure out ...

Many of us recently saw when Brett Favre, quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, played one of the greatest games of his career the Monday night after his father passed away. On the heels of one of the greatest tragedies anyone could face, he responded by playing an incredible game and leading his team to victory. How does someone do that? For most of us, adversity is something that trips us up and sends us backward instead of pushing us forward to find the best in ourselves.

You have lost someone very dear. Your heart is aching. In fact, it may feel like your heart is breaking. These painful emotional feelings often manifest as the physical sensation of tightness and heaviness in the area of your heart. Your shoulders may also ache. They may pull forward as if attempting to protect your tender heart.nnThese are normal feelings experienced by many who grieve. While they are normal feelings, they do not need to persist for lengthy periods of time.n

If you find yourself feeling unmotivated, lacking energy for life, grumpy or irritable, you may be depressed. Depression is typically caused by suppressed anger, at the root of which is the feeling of powerlessness. When we give our power away, our creative life force energy becomes stifled and “depressed” and we are no longer in the flow of manifesting abundance. We are unable to be receptive to creative solutions and new possibilities. Imagine a dam, and how it blocks the flow of water. This is what happens to our energy when we suppress our anger.

Introduction At some point in life, each of us struggles in our attempt to make sense of the circumstances surrounding a difficult life experience. The catastrophic event may be situational, such as the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one to death, the loss of a body part, or the loss of the sense of self so deeply felt following victimization. The event may be developmental, such as is experienced as the nest empties, or with the recognition of changes to the physical bo

It all started out as a birthday gift for my wife, Bobbie.nnI bought her a beautiful, painted, concrete bear. It looked so real, and it was the size of a real bear. She loved it. I placed the bear in the center of a circular-shaped flower bed I had landscaped near our house. Then I added a miniature wooden windmill next to it. Then it looked so cool that we decided to plant roses around it. And last, but not least, I painted a big rock that was already there with the words â€

Some say we don't have anymore heroes but I say we do. Let's take a look at what a hero is and decide if you are one. A hero travels the hero's journey. That's when regular people such as you or me are asked to leave our routine life because something serious has occurred and we are asked to do something about it. We are "called to help." We are called to save our king, our country, our friend, or ourself. And because the task is arduous, we really don't want to accept it.

TEENS AND GRIEF: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS Adolescence is one of the most difficult and chaotic stages in life, and is widely recognized as a particularly difficult time for dealing with the death of a parent or other loved one.

Sitting at my father’s deathbed, watching every breath, wondering if it would be his last, my family and I were totally present and vigilant. We talked to my father as if he could hear us, attempting to comfort him, although we were really comforting ourselves. Already, he was in another world. His eyes were glazed over and his body was becoming rigid. With tears streaming down my face, I whispered to him, “I will always remember you every time I step onto a sailboat.”

Every year, since l996, women who have lost their mothers gather to honor their Mother’s memory and to support each other through the difficult Mother’s Day weekend. When your Mom is dead there is nothing like Mother’s Day to remind you of just how much you have lost and how painful that loss is.n nIn l994 Hope Edelman’s book, Motherless Daughters the Legacy of Loss, came out and created an international storm. Women from all over the world, who had experienced early

Our roles in life define us. Parent, spouse, student, employee, sibling, and offspring are some examples. Our identity is shaped by these roles.

In my work with grieving children and adolescents, it is important for me to keep in mind that the child’s age and stage of development at the time of the loved one’s death will strongly influence the ways in which the child reacts and adapts to the loss. An understanding of the child’s ...

The darkness I refer to is the painful and life-draining wreckage left after the loss of someone or something that is deeply significant to us. The wreckage is all the "what ifs","I wish", "If only","I should have/shouldn't haves" that remains and keeps repeating itself over and over in our hearts and minds. It is every word,r

Society is a continuous cycle, our pavements peopled by all age groups. From babies to the elderly, we are all moving through that ever-changing kaleidoscope called life. But, as we grow older, our mindsets change. In youth we understand that people die, but that is something so far off in the future, we need not worry about it. As we climb the generational ladder, we are so busy chasing that elusive career goal, we have not the time nor desire to focus on what is looming eve

Is there life after death? As one who has experienced the searing loss of a loved one, I have many times pondered about what happens when one dies. Questions I’ve asked include: does a soul go to “heaven” or somewhere else; can we still communicate with a person who has died, even though his/her physical body is gone; and are we being looked after by the souls (or angels) of our lost friend or family member?

While in the grieving process, it may feel as though hope has abandoned you. Depressed, you question your purpose for living. You ask, “Why did this happen? What is the point of it all?” You may have lost hope for living your dreams or don’t even know what they are anymore. Perhaps your loved one was an integral part of living the life you had always imagined. Uninspired, you go through the motions of your daily life without feeling truly alive. The following are helpful keys to re-awaken hope when you no longer feel jazzed about life.

Creating or strengthening our spirituality can have untold beneficial effects upon us after loss. By spirituality I do not mean religion. The two are very separate. Religion is based around organised belief by an outside body. Spirituality in contrast, is individual belief created by searching deep within one’s self.

The grieving process is natural. Similar to the cycles of the seasons or the ebb and flood of the tides…it is not linear and straightforward, but it comes and goes. At times we may feel good about life…inspired, energized and in our passion. At others we may feel sad, fatigued and depressed. Each of these seasons requires something different from us.

Grief and loss can manifest in many different ways. Your world is different now. You may not be sure what to do next. You may feel very hesitant and unsure of yourself and your ability to make decisions. These feelings may lead to figeting and restlessness. You may have difficulty sleeping as a result.nnThese are normal responses to grief. But while they may be normal they do not need to be permanent. First step is becoming aware of these feelings. Often the impact of grief b

An Open Letter: With the AIG debacle looming, and bank bail-outs sending cortisol racing through the system of most Americans, the whole issue of loss and disappointment is ‘up’ in pretty big ways. The truth of the matter, however, was brought home this past week with the sudden death of Natasha Richardson. There is no bigger loss than the death of someone we love. A second runner-up is when someone we love loses someone they love.rn rnThis is the plight of Vanessa Redgra

Irishman Walking is about my walking the coastal roads of Japan through a series of summer, winter, spring, and autumn stages. Stage 2 began in the city of Noshiro, Akita Prefecture in the winter of 2009, and ended in Tsuruoka City, Yamagata four weeks later in January 2010. Last summer (2012), Stage 8 started at Shibushi Port in Kagoshima Prefecture on the southern island of Kyushu, and ended in the city of Fukuoka six weeks after setting off. Then in winter Stage 9 started

Eager to fill our hungry bellies after a full day of hiking and soaking in the mineral hot springs, John and I sat waiting for our food to arrive. Observing my surroundings, I noticed a woman sitting with her husband text-messaging with her iPhone. The couple appeared to be on vacation. Next, I noticed a man sitting with his wife and two grown daughters. He was also text-messaging while waiting for dinner. At one point, I witnessed him holding his iPhone and text messaging with one hand, while holding his burrito and eating with the other!

My grandmom was a model for positive psychology and she taught me a valuable lesson: it’s easier catching bees with honey than with vinegar. I was given the name “Mary” because of her and her devotion to The Blessed Mother. My mother, father, brother, sister and I lived upstairs in her roomy old Victorian house until she died in 1957. She did not die alone - her ten living children surrounded her bedside praying the rosary. In my Catholic upbringing, Grandmom’s death was referred to as “a happy death” because she was in the state of grace when God took her back.