Grief and Loss Articles

Grief is a universal and common reaction to the lost of a love one. Losing a parent, spouse, friend, child or pet can be devastating. In current times more and more bereaved individuals and families are utilizing spiritual mediumship via a medium as an effective way to help their grief and come to a better understanding of the passing of their loved ones. According to a recent USA Today/CNN/Gallup Poll, almost 70 millio Americans believe that it is possible to communicate wit

An Australian Y-Genner graduate, Alex Haigh, recently coined the term “Phubbing.” I guarantee that even if you don’t yet know what it means, you’re all ready phed-up with it! Phubbing is the anti-social act of someone having their face glued to a smartphone rather than the person they are supposedly with. In other words, something 99.9% of us are guilty of doing: snubbing our loved ones for something more interesting on social media via our phones.

Discouraged, I thought, “I wish I could afford to go to therapy.” The grief over my last miscarriage and my pet’s illnesses weighed heavy on me. Further, for the past nine years, I had experienced one early pregnancy loss after another. Tired of leaning on my husband and friends for support, I largely dealt with my grief on my own.

A miscarriage or a death of an infant is very sad. And though receiving condolences and support is so significant to the grieving process, most of the time it is difficult to know what not to say at all. Oftentimes, these worries keep people from supporting friends and reaching out to our loved ones who are experiencing this loss. This article is written to help you in supporting a grieving parent. First and foremost, what really helps: 1.) Listen—grieving parents need to t

Reducing grief to the shortest period of time.nnThis NEW description of grief is created to cause the possibility of change, in the shortest time, perhaps within 30 days.nnGrief is:n An Initial Sensitizing Event (the death event or a prior death event)n The continuance of Ruminating Conversations, without endn Angern Fearn Not feeling safennEmotions of Anguish, Despair, Anger and Fear placed in our learning, without human language, while transitioning into sleep.nnRegardless

Sympathy words, comforting and personalized, make your expressions of support to the bereaved meaningful and supportive. In a situation of bereavement, it is important to have more to say than worn out clichés. Now you can choose from a variety of sympathy quotes, phrases and other ideas to convey your message of condolence. Sympathy words are critical to an overall comforting presence in the grief experience.

Cruising on I-90 form Washington back to Colorado, John and I are ready for rest after eight hours of driving. We stop at a campground with easy access to the freeway, just outside of Missoula, Montana. Fortunately, the campground is practically empty. We set up camp among tall ponderosa pines and bushes tucked away near a creek. It is the perfect respite from our long trip. Enjoying the solitude and beauty of our site, we decide to stay an extra day.

I don’t believe in coincidences. Whether part of some “divine plan” or a science deeper than we currently understand, I think everything happens for a reason. I see it as a philosophical version of Chaos Theory (http://www.imho.com/grae/chaos/chaos.htm); in my thinking, there is a pattern, a Koch’s Curve (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/KochSnowflake.html) to life. If we could just stand back far enough, we could see the pattern and the beauty. Unfortunately, we usually cannot get that perspective, and that is the problem.

A SISTER’S FAREWELLrn(When Last We Said Goodbye) “You hugged and held me close, and then looked deeply into my face. I remember that look in your eyes, Sis…” I finally fell asleep last nightr With that image before my face, The depth of the look you gave me thenr Eclipsed all of Man as a race. It spoke first of your great joy For the beautiful day we had shared; The laughter and fun and wonderful foodr To which nothing on earth compared. It spoke of the love carried deep withinr A sister’s heart for her brother; And shone with a glow from a radiant facer

Grief is a mysterious creature. It lurks unnoticed in the dark corners of our hearts only to be un-leashed by the simplest of provocations…listening to a song, looking at a picture, watching a movie, a brief thought or memory flashes through our minds reminding us of our loss. All of a sudden, a torrent of tears wells up within and comes tumbling out, unannounced. In amazement, we wonder, “Where did that come from? I thought I was done grieving.” Just when we feel we have grieved all we can, there is still more.

The Suicide of a Loved One How to resolve the feelings of guilt and regretr If only I had made more of an effort to engage my brother Henry more at our family Thanksgiving get-together. If only I had called him more often. If only I could have understood what was going on in his tortured mind. IF ONLY, IF ONLY! Regrets about things that I could no longer change echoed through my mind.

The holidays can be challenging enough with all of the busyness of the season, but if you’ve experienced a major loss such as the death of a loved one, this time of year can be extremely difficult. Family gatherings where your loved one is not present can leave a huge void. Past memories of times spent together can stir up sadness. You may even experience anxiety, depression and trouble sleeping. Further, you may feel the pressure to get into the spirit of the season even though your heart is not into it.

After the loss of a spouse – whether from death or divorce – dating and remarriage may be considered. However, this time around, it is not just about you! Your children will play a very big role in the next partner you choose. The adaptability of your children will also determine if the relationship will be able to survive the stress of a blended family. To increase your odds of a successful remarriage, bear in mind the following guidelines.

Where two rivers joined, I spotted a large dead Ponderosa pine which had fallen down a steep ravine on its side, half of its trunk submerged in the water. Carefully navigating my way down the ravine, I felt excited….This was the first day of my vacation and the tree was the perfect place for me to relax and meditate. As I lay down with my back fully supported by the trunk of the tree and my body soaking up the warmth of the sun, I dangled my feet in the water. The snow melt from the mountains was fresh and the water was freezing. I promptly removed them!

Sobbing, I exclaimed, “I finally have my life back!” Sitting on a catamaran on a beach at Mission Bay in San Diego last week, my step-mom, sister, her boyfriend and I took time out to celebrate my brother, Kyle’s life on the anniversary of his death. He had been gone for twelve years now. We talked about what his life might be like if Cystic Fibrosis hadn’t ended it at the early age of fifteen. Would he be married? What type of work would he be doing? What type of person would he be?

Planning a funeral and coping with the emotional time surrounding this event can be very stressful. Quite often after all the arrangements have been made and the services are over, the family is often left with only a vague memory of the friends and family members who gathered. Creating a unique Memorial Guest Book is a wonderful way that guests can view and share.nnUnlike a register or traditional name-filled guestbook, you can present a unique funeral or memorial guest book

I am a hospice social worker and grief therapist. Before I used Emotional Freedom Techniques I spent a lot of hours hoping I was making a difference providing grief support. It’s a proven fact that people who are grieving need to tell their stories so that they can process their grief, but this is slow work. And even though I am skilled in helping someone step through the wilde ess of grief, I often felt like I wasn’t really helping that much. When I started guiding clients to use EFT, all had remarkable releases and faster recovery.

Surrounded by royal blue water extending beyond the horizon in all directions, no land in sight, I gaze at the path of diamonds dancing on the ocean’s surface. The sun radiating on my skin feels like a warm cashmere sweater. It is August 19, 1998, and I am on my first ocean passage of a life-transforming journey, a journey leading to a more authentic and purposeful life.

“Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!” Absolute silence enveloped me except for the sound of my boots on the hard packed snow. I quickly shoved my gloved hands deep into my jacket pockets as I didn’t want my fingers to get frost bitten. With a scarf wrapped tightly around my neck, mouth and nose, and my wool hat on, I was fairly comfortable while walking my dog despite the frigid -8 degree temperature at ten in the morning.

Time heals, they say. In my experience, time does not heal exactly, but it does help some scar tissue form. It helps the wound from being so excruciating and bloody. My daughter died in May of 2008. In the first weeks and months I clung desperately to time. I counted days, then weeks, finally months, grabbing at every advancement on the calendar with both fists, wanting time to take away the pain. And time, as is its nature, dragged inexorably forward.

You never know what to believe on the Internet, but Scopes.com verified with a local newspaper that the events recounted below by Mrs. Joy Scrivener did indeed take place. Here is the true story that happened in mid-August 2006 to their family of five in San Antonio: This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service. Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, di

“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson There is a tendency when catastrophic events happen for us ...“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Discovering your Groove and creating a luscious life is all about allowing for Grace through your next transition.” - Shann Vander Leek

Unique personalized sympathy gifts express timely thoughtfulness to a bereaved person. They become treasured mementos of the life of a loved one who has passed on. There are a number of ways to personalize a gift. You can incorporate a photo, have an item engraved, or use a particularly meaningful item to the griever. Engraved Items

MIND THE GAP: LIVING IN THE SPACE BETWEEN LOSS AND HEALING One of the most difficult phases in any life transition is the space of the unknown between a loss or change, and healing or new beginning. All life changes, even positive ones, entail a sense of loss or grief. For example, there is a sense of loss in giving up addictive behaviors like cigarette smoking, despite the fact that the change is a positive one. Even the change of getting a better job or promotion entails loss -- you might be giving up security, relationships and the comfort of the known in making such a change.

Helen Keller has said that “the only way to get to the other side is to go through the door.” This is certainly true in the work of transforming grief into healing and growth. This process involves allowing ourselves to feel the intense emotions of grief – sadness, ...

In our modern day society, distractions are everywhere, vying for our attention, keeping us from what is truly important and our higher purpose. Lately, I have felt more and more overwhelmed by the amount of e-mail that comes through my in-box on a daily basis. By attending to all of this ...In our modern day society, distractions are everywhere, vying for our attention, keeping us from what is truly important and our higher purpose. Lately, I have felt more and more overwhelmed by the amount of e-mail that comes through my in-box on a daily basis.

Dealing with anticipatory grief is tough to deal with, may it be after death or before, it is acceptable that there’s no topic more difficult to deal with than grieving. And this is where the beauty of friendship comes. More than sharing all those happy and fun times, all those sharing secrets and stories, the true test of friendship can arise during those difficult times when we cope with grief, particularly with anticipatory grief. Of course, we all want to help and be th

On the day my son died Dec.1st 1987, something shifted in my soul, something deep inside my being got rewired. As a newly bereaved parent you anticipate that the affects and symptoms of shock will eventually wear off as reality arm wrestles for control of our conscious thought. Shock ...

HELP FOR THE RECENTLY WIDOWEDnTAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCIAL LIFEnnI realize that you feel your life is out of control. You are depressed and angry. You have difficulty making decisions. Your energy level is low. You are on an emotional roller coaster, crying one minute and laughing the next. What you are experiencing is natural and more important, is temporary. You will regain control. Your depression and anger will abate. Your ability to make decisions will return. Your ene

This article is a response to a question posted on Intent.com, "How do We Help the Helpless?" Since I work with homeless families in a homeless shelter everyday, this question raised strong emotions for me. The word "helpless" hit me right between the eyes. Why?n nI don't know if it is our Judeo-Christian heritage that makes us want to "save" people or what it is, but I would really like to challenge this idea of one person "saving" another person who is viewed as totally "he

The words to the song “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” don’t ring true for everyone. If you’ve recently suffered the loss of a loved one, the holidays can bring sadness and dread to an otherwise cheerful season. n As a funeral service veteran, I’ve ...

What Does Success Mean to You? By Ligia M. Houben, MA, CG-C, CT, CH, ACCPr Life Transitions Consultant and Coachr Certified Grief Counselor Professional Speaker-Author "Success is hard work disguised as good luck."rn-Julio C. Martínez A. When you hear the word "success" what comes to your mind? To be wealthy? To excel in your career? To have peace of mind?

The year before I turned 50, AARP began its membership campaign on me. Invitations. Information. Enticements. Good deals. An automatic community. One of the fall-outs of membership is their wonderful magazine, AARP. The July & August 2009 issue featured a story called “The Flower of Positive Thinking” by Lynne Schreiber. Iris Lee Underwood is a lavender farmer in Lakeville, Michigan, and she knows what it is to have a broken heart. Her daughter died of drug abuse and Unde

Have you ever experienced grief so unyielding and persistent that there seem to be no end? The most familiar feeling mourners experience is being unable to find the confidence to face change, not enough dependable information to help cope with their loss and more importantly, not able to find a caring and understanding support group. These emotions may not be unusual for some grievers. There is a logical reason for this--before, educating people about how to deal with loss is

After the death of someone we love our grief experience and overall healing has everything to do with our relationship to the deceased, the intensity and depth of the love we felt for them and our degree of faith in a hereafter. In the immediate aftermath of a person's death, it's hard to breathe and everything hurts. We feel shattered, bewildered and frightened. Sometimes, however, grief shows us its own timetable and can be delayed or complicated. I experienced a long delay in time sequence when my father died. I was thirteen years old; it was the springtime of my life.

Thoughtful sympathy inspirational gifts combine spiritual support with encouragement in times of grief. They place an emphasis on celebrating the life of the deceased and challenge us to move on to honor our loved ones with courage and hope. In times of grief, it is important to balance support and comfort with hope and encouragement. What constitutes inspiration will vary with the individual and takes into consideration the person’s world view and value system.

This acronym has recently made news headlines and is increasingly gracing the landing pages of popular psychology and health sites. It’s continually bandied about on daytime TV and teens seem to Tweet it more often than the @ sign. But what does FOMO really mean? I don’t mean literally. We’ve got that covered: FOMO is a term coined to describe the Fear of Missing Out in relation to what one sees (or perceives) others are doing, particularly via social networks, or the nagging sensation that there is something happening somewhere that you are not a part of.

Most of us are born into a family group. As children we accept our family culture as the way a family is supposed to be. We have no source of reference, so developmentally what we experience in the family is what we assume the whole world experiences. If a child lives with alcoholic parents or parents who suffer from depression or uncontrolled rage, that is the norm. If a child is born into a family where a parent is not emotionally available to them that is their norm. And if a child had a loving parent that anticipated their every need that would be their norm.

Has it been weeks since the death of your loved one and you still feel sluggish with low energy levels? Are you hesitant in making decisions? Confused? Is hope draining out of you and all you think about is a bleak future? It is not unusual to suffer physical and emotional depletion when mou ing. Adapting to the loss of a loved one is always a major challenge and calls for a new awareness and the development of new routines without the presence of the beloved. We all must meet change by changing.

Are you someone who has experienced loss? Do you find yourself grieving alone or suppressing your feelings altogether? If so, you may be afraid of burdening friends and family with your grief. Or, perhaps you feel like no one understands what you are going through, so you hide your deepest thoughts and feelings of loss.

Living in the Bottom of a WellrnBy Sheri N Hall rnYou look up, you see a small circle of light- no it is not ‘Gods light’ but it is the way out. It is seemingly far away but closer than you think. It is very small; sometimes non-existent sometimes you cannot see it because you don’t want to look up. You look around you –at the hard stone walls that surround you, most would feel claustrophobic but not you, you revel in your small, dark enclosure. Here is where you can

Dear God, I am in Boston helping to care for my mother who is very ill in the hospital. Some days she is so negative that I feel beside myself. When this negativity is intense, it feels like I cringe to the core of my Being. My sister feels herself going into a black hole, and all of her energy gets sucked out of her when my mother is so miserable. I don't know how to respond to my mother at times like these. Especially if it goes on for hours. I have told her to ask You fo

Every event in life is neutral, and it is you and your response which gives meaning to the event. So, when you ask God, or some higher power, "Why did this terrible event happen to me?" you are probably perceiving the "event" as a negative one. When you lose a loved one to death or have a child facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, it is very difficult to step back, be objective, and see the ultimate good that may result from the situation. Instead, the world feels as if it is crashing down without relief in sight.

Grieving Through the Holiday Season

DEALING WITH THE STRESS OF GRIEF How you respond to the stress associated with grief (see my previous article entitled “Grief and Stress”) is directly related to how well you are able to identify your stressors and respond to them in a healthy manner. In this article I will identify seven strategies that we can use to help minimize the impact of stress on our lives during the period of grief.

If you were given the choice between diving freely into the darkest depths of the ocean fully equipped with all of the proper gear you would need to handle anything you might encounter OR being slowly dragged down by an eighty pound anchor that is chained to your legs while you frantically tread water trying to keep your head above water, which would you choose?

In my younger days I thought I could control change. I learned, and not quickly I would add, that no one can control or stop change anymore than one can hold back the tides or halt the autumn leaves transforming from green to gold. This brings me to today's topic of change and how to understand it and accept its daily invitation. First, change is inevitable. Think of those individuals you know who, despite painful adversity, have been able to go on even after their world changed and fell down around them. These individuals accept - sometimes hourly - the inescapable reality of change.

The mind likes to push us from black to white, from either to or, from positive to negative.nnWhen we remember events or people, we tend to sort the memories into categories. We see life as either good or bad. We say this is a good memory and that is a bad memory.nnThe mind seems to be trying to simplify things for us, but what really is happening is a fragmentation of memory and of life.nnSome people or events in our memory become part of the list of positive memories. Some

On April 17, 2007, one day after the Virginia Tech massacre of 32 students by another student, the Washington Post published an article entitled “Survivors of Shootings Grieve in Stages.” The author quotes an "educator" who counseled Columbine survivor families as describing specific, time-limited stages to occur in a particular order. The educator explained that in the first stage “the body shuts down in shock for seven days. It is a piercing grief; you stumble through what