Intimacy Articles

If you are anything like me, you probably have done a lot of “healing” work on your self. A few years ago, I was introduced to the concept of “integration”. I was invited to think in terms of integration instead of in terms of healing. It made a lot of sense to me, and brought profound changes in my life. I will share with you in this article how and why you can benefit from this mind shift. Healing connotes that there is something that needs fixing, and that something is wrong with you.

Beginnings and endings...and your relationship Life is a never-ending series of beginnings and endings—with each ending signaling a new beginning. And it is these beginnings that give us hope that new possibilities are available, that we can shed what hasn't worked and start anew. Each beginning is imbued with possibility, a gift waiting to be claimed by a new owner. It is our need for a fresh start that makes the New Year so meaningful to so many. Marriage and your New Year's resolution

I'm often asked, "What is one of the most challenging issues couples face today?" While every couple is different, there are themes that I see in my work as a couples counselor and relationship coach. One common issue is the difficulty couples have in prioritizing their relationship—a form of ...

Anyone in a marriage or a long-term relationship understands the challenges of keeping romance and passion alive. Candlelit dinners, gazing into each other’s eyes, and the priority of talking and making love begin to buckle under the pressure of busy schedules, the demands of maintaining ...

Experiencing a deep, loving connection is one of the most meaningful aspects of a healthy relationship. But achieving and maintaining this connection isn't always easy. You (or your partner) can have a strong desire for closeness and yet inadvertently push each other away at times. This is ...

HE SAID SEX, SHE SAID NICE TRYrnTHE POWER OF LOVE SEX PERSUASION THE BRAIN (and this time he is TELLING THE TRUTH!) What is it about men who seemingly use sex as an answer to everything? Sex is their cure all answer to life’s riddles, resolution to troubled relationships, and the root of their ‘romantic’ incline. They flagrantly flaunt their fixation on sex-dicine as if they’d earned a degree in duping women; proud in their pretentious proclamation of mating as their

We are living in extraordinary times right now and are all asked to step up and surrender at the same time. I have to be honest with you today. We are all struggling right now big time. I am in it too. Why is that and why is it important for you to know this and read this message?

Questions have the power to change people... For centuries, philosophers have known about the power of questions as a tool to finding the deeper truths about life. And questions are one of the central ways in which therapists (including marriage/couples counselors) help clients create more meaningful lives.

For many busy couples, intimacy is unfortunately an issue that gets pushed aside. Really, nobody’s checking up on it (we hope), and you don’t normally have a deadline on it or any of the other checks and balances that are involved in many other sectors of your lives. Still, intimacy is an integral part of a relationship, so where do you go from here, especially when you’re overtaxed and exhausted? Schedule it! This is too important to let it get away! Take out that datebook a

Can Food Really Enhance Your Sex Life? “The link between food and sex drive isn’t just wishful thinking” says Cynthia Sass, RD, author of S.A.S.S Yourself Slim. “Studies show that certain foods or nutrients do play a role in boosting libido and supporting a healthy sex life.” This is a great little checklist that outlines 7 of the best everyday foods that can jump start and improve your sex life. Avocados Funny thing to start the article with but, the Aztecs actuall

Family Constellation therapy or better said Family Constellation work (as it is properly named) is a therapeutic process that was developed in the second half of the 20st century, by a man named Bert Hellinger.

"You never listen to me...I've asked you a thousand times to let me know when you can't pick the kids up from daycare!" In my work with couples, it is common to hear one person accuse the other of "not listening." This usually takes the following form: 1. You ask your partner to do something ...

Couples often seek marriage counseling because of difficulties with intimacy. Why are so many couples struggling with intimacy? In order to fully connect with your spouse/partner, you need to share the deepest parts of yourself while maintaining a separate sense of self. This balancing act isn't ...

I have two small children, a husband, a household and my work. I do want to connect with Source (or whatever you call that higher part that governs the Universe) and I do want to be the best I can be. I do want to be enlightened. Many spiritual teachers suggest that a true state of divine connectedness can only be attained through stilling your mind, sitting quietly and by detachment from the world. Well, that has not been working for me. And I am pretty sure it hasn’t been working for you, either. So I started questioning this paradigm.

When couples come to me for help, the first thing I do is observe how they communicate with each other. Communication is often the gauge of the health of a relationship. There are certain effective communication principles that can help you create a more harmonious marriage or relationship; and certain styles of communication have been linked to relationship and marital problems. When couples seek marriage help and relationship advice, they are often locked in ineffective communication patterns that have spiraled out of control.

Why is it that we have no problem lounging around in our favorite sweatpants (with the hole in the knee) and our favorite threadbare T-shirt (with the rip in the sleeve) in front of our spouse/partner, but if our friends/co-workers were on the way over, we'd change into something "decent" in a quick hurry?

Every year in Canada, people face the consequences of sexual activities. Having sex or making love can be a rewarding, wonderful experience. But too often, teens or women that aren’t ready for a family have this experience and then have to face an unplanned pregnancy or an STI. In this country, over 95,000 abortions* are performed every years, and whether you’re pro-choice or not, that is a shockingly high number; one that could be lowered if more people embraced the ofte

What is a fear of intimacy? The term "fear of intimacy" is often used to describe someone who has difficulty creating a close connection with their spouse/partner. Typically, the phrase highlights a person's struggle to become physically and/or emotionally close, and we often describe this struggle as a fear. But often there are certain differences between men and women that are misinterpreted as a fear of intimacy.

If you truly want to please your man to give him satisfaction beyond his wildest dreams, then you need some help. Right now, you just aren’t satisfying him and his greatest desires. If you worry that he is losing interest, then you need to fix things. You need to learn these 3 things that you must know about the male orgasm if you expect to keep your man happy in the bedroom. He can remain happy with you, but he can start to become unhappy with your sex life. You don’t wa

Touch of love we can’t get enough of it. It’s a need. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs- men have five basic needs. One of these need are the physical needs like food, water, clothing and shelter, the safety needs like security and protection, the social needs which is the need of the person to belong and to be loved, Self- esteem needs, this is our need to be recognized, and the last but not the least self- actualization, the need of knowing true happiness. If y

In my “toilet moment”,the moment that was my wake up call, I realized I wasn’t very far from death.

Even if you're deeply in love with your partner, there will be times when it feels like you are miles apart. This is natural, but that doesn't make it any less uncomfortable. To help you maintain a healthy and peaceful relationship, you can use Feng Shui. As with any relationship, energy shifts are par for the course. But that doesn't mean you simply need to endure them in order to regain your relationship mojo. Why not try to keep the peace all the time? When the Waters are

Two happily married couples, together for over fifteen years: "If I had to pick out one thing that has made the difference in our marriage, I guess it would be that he makes me laugh." ~Sarah "We just enjoy each other's company. We're playful and tease each other in a light-hearted way. Life ...

Want A Happy Sex Life? Buy Ambien for Sex Performance Anxiety Millions of men have a fear of performance in the bedroom. In fact, they experience severe signs of stress before sex in their daily lives. Long-term and severe stress problems cause performance anxiety in couples. In addition, experts say erectile dysfunction (ED) is the main health issue experienced by most men in the bedroom. Furthermore, sexual performance anxiety affects your ability to please your partner in

New love seems to cradle and carry couples for a time—magnifying all that is good about your partner and your future together. We now know that relationships go through a series of phases over the years—some that can challenge the very bond that holds you together. It's interesting ...

Intimacy is all about connection--the feeling that you and your partner are kindred spirits. The hallmark of a healthy marriage or relationship is feeling close and attuned to your partner, but maintaining this connection isn't always easy. Therefore, finding ways to enhance intimacy is a ...

rnOn the topic of intimacy many people might say, “What do we really mean by intimacy anyway?” Intimacy is both a familiarity with and a deep knowledge of another person. And in fact, the first person that we really need to be intimate with is ourselves. Our capacity to see and relate to another person is supported or diminished by our capacity to know ourselves. Therefore, I recommend that the following statements for increasing intimacy also be applied personally. Ask q

Anyone who is married or in a long-term committed relationship comes to realize that at some point there is a danger of falling into a lifeless routine.

Whether or not you consider yourself an "emotional" person, there's no doubt about it: emotions play a central role in your relationship and in building a deeper level of intimacy. When you share your feelings, you communicate directly about your needs and the deepest parts of yourself. ...

You often hear struggling athletes say that they have to "go back to basics." After years of repetition, it's easy to lose sight of the fundamentals they need to stay on top of their game. Often they need an outsider's perspective (i.e., a coach) to help them determine which fundamentals ...

How often do we skip over our own needs and desires for fear that they won't be met? As part of our commitment and intention to call in great love into our lives, we need to learn to express our needs and desires and present them in ways that enroll others to fulfill them. So often in our relationships, both romantic and otherwise, we lose out on deepened love and connection because we make meaning out of what someone does or doesn't do. We make it mean something about us or

Being touched and caressed by someone we love is essential to our emotional health; adding libido boosting essential oils to the mix will TAKE YOU TO THE MOON! ïrnThere are many erogenous zones that many of us are unaware of; if that’s you, take a peek at my Sensual Massage page that has a great list of Erogenous Zones, and where to find them. ïrnIt’s always a good idea to learn something new every day, so today it may as well ber Your Erogenous Zones Learning where all of ou

The “I” s of intimacy (a.k.a interruptions) abundantly threaten relationships on a regular basis. Naturally occurring “I”s can’t be avoided no matter how much an individual or couple may try. Such is life. Many “I”s are obvious to all parties involved while some remain hidden to self as well as others. * Illness * Injury * Irritation * Immobility * Interference

Q: "I need some marriage advice. Is arguing bad for a marriage? My husband says it's healthy to argue from time to time but I try to avoid marital conflict at all costs. Can you shed some light on this for us?" A: Relationship conflicts are a natural part of marriage or a long-term romantic relationship. And marital conflict isn't necessarily a sign that your relationship is in trouble.

As women, most of us have been conditioned to be cut off from our expression. We have been told not to get angry or have needs and just focus on pleasing others. We have learned to be “nice” at the price of losing connection to what really matters to us the most. We may even be at the point of not really knowing what we like and basing our opinions on others around us. Some women have developed silence for their survival. They have been victims of abuse and were punished

Success In Sex? You are probably wondering what kind of title THIS is, or is it just some kind of scammy hook to get you to read yet another bland article about another bland topic! Nope! Neither. This time around, I am venturing outside my normal business/lifestyle topics into the spicier side of life! When I started writing for Living Well For Success I wanted to cover success in ALL areas of life. So, it occurred to me that sex is a part of life, a rather big part. We are

Any couples counselor will tell you that not all marriages or relationships are salvageable—despite my best efforts (and my pro-marriage and pro-commitment attitudes), some of the couples I've counseled will still make the painful decision to end their marriage or relationship. A sad fact is that there will always be a percentage of marriages that fail—despite the couple's best efforts to make it work. I think we all know this at some level, but we still believe that somehow our love is so unique and transcendent that our relationship will be the one that prevails, no matter what.

Today one of my clients asked how she could cut her cord: Here is my answer to her question: I dreamed last year that I needed to cut my cord in order to be happy here with my children and my husband. (As you know, all of my family is in Germany and I am the only one here in the States) I had no idea what it would look like. I kept holding onto an intention: a curiosity to find out what cutting my cord in a healthy way would look like.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankln You don't need me to tell you about the dire state of the American economy and the reverberations being felt around the world. While you're probably well aware of how this is directly ...

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” -Robert Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land Do you want that relationship that lasts a lifetime and is nurturing for both of you? That relationship that truly makes you feel like the amazing human being that you really are? Who doesn’t? Life is busy, and even with the best of intentions, we can let life’s challenges overshadow our most important relationships. Remember, whatever you

A computer and access to the Internet: That’s all you need to share your opinion with the world about how you think people should manage their lives, relationships, finances…you name it. It seems like ove ight, everyone has become a potential "expert" about some particular ...

When veteran parents give advice to new parents, they often start by explaining the value of routines: bedtimes, storytimes, mealtimes, etc. Well, guess what? We may outgrow footed pajamas and Sippy cups, but we don’t outgrow our need for rituals—repeated, regular events you come ...

Couples seek out my services when they’re dissatisfied about some aspect of their relationship or marriage. In many instances, small problems have spiraled into larger, complicated ones. (At least the problems feel complicated.) Often, my advice is straightforward and simple, even if the ...

Pthalate is a material added to plastic to make it more flexible and soft. But pthalate products are being banned in many countries across the world because of its harmful side effects. Research on pthalates has revealed that as it ages with time, it breaks down, leaches into other substances and contaminates the environment. The exposure to pthalates can prove especially potent to humans. Pthalate exposure can cause birth defects, liver damage, lung damage, Cardiovascular Di

If it's the season to be jolly... ...then why are there so many stressed, beleaguered couples walking around? Is it more fitting to say, 'Tis the season to feel tense, frustrated and constantly on-the-go? Whether you're feeling totally overwhelmed or slightly frustrated during the holiday season, it's easy to lose perspective about what's most important and valuable to you--your relationships. Here are five points to help you (and your spouse/partner) stay grounded during all that's going on this busy time of year:

There are three things that women commonly say to men -- especially during conflict -- that cut a man to the core. Saying these things can literally trigger a man to shut down emotionally, and to withdraw from you. Here they are: 1) Anything that implies an inability to provide for his family: "If you made more money, we would not have to live paycheck to paycheck." 2) Any suggestion that he has a lack of interest in family time: "You work such long hours-the kids and I never

If you have found yourself in maintaining a successful relationship then you may be losing hope of finding the partner of your dreams. I would say that it it’s time that you should learn how to be a woman that men adore! First and foremost, it is really vital to keep in mind that learning to be a girl whom guys fall for does not mean changing who you are. You want to entice a man to the real you, not someone you forced yourself to be. Have patience knowing that you can be a

How do these three words pertain to personal growth and a woman’s healing journey? Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day and, as the name suggests, we all should pause on that day and reflect on what we are grateful for. Not just reflect, but to truly feel the gratitude in our deepest core.

Fact #1: Certain topics of discussion proceed more smoothly with a little planning-- especially sensitive and emotional topics. Fact #2: When it comes to your marriage or relationship, you’re likely to overlook Fact #1. Permit me to make the following assumption: When you’re at ...