3 Things to Never Say To A Man Unless You Want To Be Alone
Written by Uadiale Amber
There are three things that women commonly say to men -- especially during conflict -- that cut a man to the core.
Saying these things can literally trigger a man to shut down emotionally, and to withdraw from you.
Here they are:
1) Anything that implies an inability to provide for his family:
"If you made more money, we would not have to live paycheck to paycheck."
2) Any suggestion that he has a lack of interest in family time:
"You work such long hours-the kids and I never see you. You spend more time at your job than you do with your family!"
3) Any accusation of a lack of contribution to the household:
"Why not help around the house more? You give all your energy to your career, but nothing left over for the unglamorous tasks like laundry."
These kinds of criticisms strike at the very core of men, because they are touching on our deep, subconscious need to succeed in these areas.
So if your man's job is causing challenges in your home, try to not criticize him about that, but work with him, if you want to win his heart.
If you are critical about his abilities to be a breadwinner, he is going to feel discouraged.
But please notice, this is NOT to make excuses for your man's poor behavior or responses. And it's not to say that you need to "give in" to his worst tendencies. Quite the opposite...
You have the ability to make real change here: you can either help him to become more successful by complimenting and supporting his hard efforts, or you can be critical and ripping into him all the time -- which will make him want to go off into a corner and lick his wounds.
So what do you say instead?
What can you say that will help build him up, and get you more of the results you really want from him?
3 Things You Can Say That Help Him Be Successful...
To help him become more successful, you can say words to this effect:
1) Acknowledging his ability to provide for the family:
"I appreciate your efforts to provide for the family financially. I would like to explore some ways we can boost our household income. At the same, time we can look at ways to cut costs."
2) Acknowledging his value as a member of the family:
"I know that work is asking a lot of you right now. The kids and I need time with you too because we miss you. How can we work together on this in order to find a way to create a win-win situation?"
3) Acknowledging his contribution to the household:
"I want to be sensitive to how hard you work at the office, but I am working outside the home too. So I am going to need you to step up and do more of the household chores."
Try out these suggestions with your man, starting today and I think you'll be thrilled at how quickly your man warms up to you and brings you closer to his heart than you ever thought possible.
If you'd like some more suggestions on how you can melt your man's heart so you'll become the apple of his eye, I've included some below.
Article author
About the Author
Further reading
Further Reading
Article
Married Couples Sleep In Separate Beds: Married but Living In Separate Rooms
Married Couples Sleep In Separate Beds: Married but Living In Separate Rooms Recent studies show that more and more couples are sleeping in separate beds, and even in separate bedrooms. Numerous reports claim that 1 in 4 couples have taken up this habit and the National Association of Homebuilders predicts that by 2015 60% of new luxury homes will be built with more than one "master bedroom" to accommodate this growing trend. When this topic was discussed on a recent Oprah Wi
October 8, 2021
Article
My Husband and I Have Grown Apart: Husband Won't Commit To Saving Your Marriage
My Husband and I Have Grown Apart: Husband Won't Commit To Saving Your Marriage Most married couples are blissfully unaware of which way their marriage is heading. They tend to look at marriage optimistically but it could so happen that things keep on brewing for a long time and the marriage is not all that hunky-dory as you thought. How to get closer to your spouse again? Lesson one, act now, or it might be too late. In case you too are going through such a predicament, firs
October 8, 2021