Relationship Advice Articles

A fan wrote me a heartfelt email: Hi Katarina, me and my bf of almost 2 years broke up about 3 and a half months ago. It was not a bad break up, but he felt like he could not handle the pressure of a full-blown relationship. In the time that we have been apart I have learned a lot and recently we have started talking again.

I want to address an important issue from my reader, about guys who lose their sexual mojo when they're settled with you (something that isn't very uncommon -surprise, surprise- which is the main reason why my marriage fell apart). So here it goes:

There is an excellent discussion going on in my private group: "For years we read from women that we should play hard to get. There are countless books written by women on this topic. What are your thoughts on why women believe we should play hard to get and men believe we should not? Do you believe women who hold the idea of playing hard to get contribute to their own demise?"

Building good character is all about addition, not subtraction. What I mean is this: when it comes to change, our focus is usually on the aspects of our lives that are bad. We try to cut out or cut off these negative or bad qualities. We try to improve by subtraction. That is not how you build good character. It is the process of addition in your life that brings the character. In so doing, you automatically take care of the other negative aspects. As both a father and a pastor of a Church, I look for ways to continually add to the character of those I am responsible for.

Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That's where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other's lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). The following are some tips to help you avoid a post-breakup backslide into your ex’s arms, and instead ease you into your happily ever after future: Tip #1: Create new boundariesr Your best defense after a breakup?

Some women get really hurt from just a few month fling? Why? Because they invest too much, too soon in the relationship and have soaring expectations of it. They buy into the fairy tale they concoct themselves that this is it: he's the One and they're "in love" not realizing that the dizzying feeling of being in love is actually a function of chemical cocktails in the brain and can easily be induced upon oneself because it feels great to be in love. Everyone wants it. However, it's not necessarily so.

Text messaging is one of the most powerful ways to flirt and build attraction and to lay a great foundation for a lasting relationship with a man. Unfortunately, many women are at a loss for how to properly leverage this technology to make a man feel intense level of attraction toward her with the use of a cell phone and an unlimited text messaging plan. Today all of that changes!

How many times a day do we wonder: am i attractive enough? The answer is not simple, yet it is. You are and you are not. It depends on to whom you are talking and what you mean by attractive. Why do we play this “attractive” game when we don’t know what we want to achieve by trying so hard to be ...

If you feel empty, you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people feel empty inside, and most people who feel empty have some deep false beliefs regarding why they feel empty. Below are some of these false beliefs. I feel empty because: • My partner is not giving me enough love and attention. • I don't have a partner. • I'm bored because my partner doesn't provide me with enough stimulation.

There’s a bit of a misconception amongst women that men are attracted to them primarily by how they look. Granted, men certainly are visually orientated but there’s actually something deeper going on that turns a man’s attention towards a woman. If you think that when you slip ...

You are emotionally dependent when your happiness, sense of safety, and sense of worth are dependent upon others' love, attention, and approval. When you were growing up, perhaps you heard statements like: "What will the neighbors think?" "What will__(so and so)__think if you do that?"

Don't we all want to grow into the fullest and most authentic expression of ourselves? Shakespeare wrote, "To thine own self be true." When it comes to creating a successful life the place to start is with ourselves. Read on and discover a daily practice to help you really get to know yourself! Success in life can mean different things for different people. But one thing that's common to most people's definition is the ability to be true to ourselves no matter what is going on around us.

Wow, what a punch in the stomach. You were just dumped. It can be a shock, even if all the signs were there. Now comes the hard part, what to do next? If you've just said 'my boyfriend left me, what should I do now?" the answer might not be what you expected! As humans it is our nature, unfortunately, to want what we can't have. If your boyfriend just left you then your natural inclination is to want to get him back. Many times women in this situation will fight tooth and nail to get their guy back.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is "Don't make people a priority who only make you an option". I often repeat this quote to myself and have it posted in several areas of my house, as well as my daily planner. It's something I try to remember on a daily basis. We talk a lot about the toxins in our environment, our personal care products and our food. But there is another place where we can get exposed to emotional and mental toxins, and that is in our day to day relatio

Finding that special someone is something that most people dream about. Unfortunately doing that is not as easy as it sounds. Everyone has advice for you as to how you should go about finding that potential soul mate. However, no method is fool proof. In fact, due to dating desperation many people have turned to online dating as a relationship resource. The truth is that when online dating first came about there was quite a bit of stigma surrounding it.

Are you emotionally dependent? You might want to go through this checklist. __I cannot feel lovable and worthy without another's approval. __I need a lot of attention from certain people to feel that I am okay. __I don't trust my own feelings. I need others' to validate my feelings. __I am afraid of rejection. I isolate, or try to be perfect, or agree with others, or give myself up, or shut down, and/or do many other things to avoid rejection. __I am afraid to be alone. __I often feel empty inside. __I am often anxious around others.

Research indicates that children would rather be yelled at than ignored. When prisoners are being punished, they are put in isolation, because being isolated is one of the harshest punishments there is - other than physical abuse. The silent treatment is a form of punishment, a way to attempt to control children and partners into doing what you want them to do. It is a withdrawal of approval, and can cause much fear in people who are vulnerable to this.

So, you've been dumped and now you want to make your girlfriend jealous so she'll go on bended knee to get you back. Of course, I don't know how your breakup came about, but maybe it was a little too hurtful and she needs to really understand that. Maybe you want her back in a way that she realizes that you're something special and not to be taken for granted. Whatever, but you need to bend the power of jealousy in a way that annoys her like a persistent itch. Make Ex Girlfri

One of the great relationship destroyers is that of unrealistic expectations. Expecting something out of the relationship that the other is either ignorant of, unwilling to provide, or simply unable to provide. Frustration and anger is the result. This article deals with differing expectations and how to deal with them. Everyone has expectations. I met a guy once who argued that point. He told me that he had no expectations in life. I challenged him with, "You go to school right?

"I can have a really great day, but when I wake up the next morning I feel anxious. Sometimes the better day I've had, the more anxious I am the next morning. I can't figure it out." I hear this over and over from my clients. What is happening here? The Tyranny of the Ego Wounded Self

I've received so many requests for advice from women who are desperate because their men either broke up with them or became more and more distant and less willing to keep in touch or show affection. I can relate to that. I have had my share of similar experience in my 20's when a man whom I was so attracted to and who was so hot in pursuing me became cold when I showed too much eage ess. And the more I tried to prove myself to him, the more distant he was. Finally, I never heard from him again. And it took me 2 years to get over him for a few weeks of intense fling we had.

There is a difference between pressure and stress. One causes the other, and one we can reduce and shunt off. Learn the difference between these two in your life and what you can do about them. Stress is the product of pressure. Set an empty plastic water bottle upright and place the palm of your hand on the cap. Apply pressure by pressing down. The pressure is applied to the top of the bottle, but the stress will reveal itself at the weakest point in the bottle. Usually, this is halfway down the bottle at the narrow part.

What are couples really meaning when they say, "We can't communicate"? The issue with understanding what this means is what they mean by "communicate." All too often, when a partner states, "We can't communicate," what he or she means is "I can't get my partner to listen to me and understand things from my point of view." And unde eath this is, "If my partner only understood things through my eyes, he or she would then change and do things my way."

"Why do men so often change after sex?" asked Shelley in our first phone session. "Tell me what you mean by this. What has been your experience?" I asked her.

Whether you just got out of a relationship, or have been struggling to heal your broken heart for some time now, figuring out how to move on can be confusing, fear-inducing, and downright uncomfortable. Not only do you have to let go of your past, but you’ve got to be willing to embrace the unknown future. If the task sounds daunting, don’t worry. By unlocking the following seven secrets, you’ll unleash your personal reinvention and go from “I’ll never be the same” to “What was his name?” in no time!

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Older adults between the ages of 57 and 85 make sex an important part of their lives! That’s the results of the first comprehensive national survey of the sexual attitudes and behaviors of older adults as reported in the New England Journal of Medicine. And, as you might have guessed, our more than 25 years of research with successfully married couples offered the same conclusions.

There comes a point in almost any successful relationship where things calm down and cool off. There is no longer a major spark between the partners. They get comfortable in their relationship and develop a routine. They no longer find as much time to spend together. Often, this is not due to a lack of desire between the couple. Most often it is the fact that life gets in the way. They may have children or careers to deal with. They are busy and just do not have the free time that they had when their relationship was in the beginning stages.

The amount of time we get to spend with our partners is less and less. Commutes are longer, people often spend eight or ten hours at the computer and in meetings. Our increasingly complex lives also come with a host of professional, personal, and hobby-related commitments. As a result, the amount of quality time we have available to spend with our partner declines. Using technology to send an affectionate or a sexy text is a great way to create touch points with your love throughout the day.

Very often, in my work with my clients, when I ask them what they are feeling they say, "I feel sad." Often, they do not know why they feel sad. Sadness comes from two very different sources. Core Sadness Core sadness is sadness that is in reaction to something that is happening or has happened exte ally. Many life situations can cause sadness, such as:

Breaking up or getting a divorce might have been your idea. It could be that you, your partner or both of you were caught in destructive behaviors that could only be stopped by ending your relationship. Maybe there was abuse of some kind involved. Or perhaps the troubles in your relationship were less overtly damaging, but they seemed unresolvable and the dynamics were making you both miserable and unhappy. As much as you know, deep down, that ending your relationship and moving on with your life was the “best” decision, your heart might feel broken.

Whenever I’m at a dinner party and meet somebody new, the inevitable question comes up: What do you do? When I tell them I’m a heartbreak reinvention coach, it always leads to an interesting conversation. Usually, I get to hear the story of Their Big Breakup, and it’s always gut-wrenching, soul-shifting, and chock full of life lessons. Having written about my Big Breakup in my book It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown and the follow up workbook, I can tell you easily what my lessons were. In sharing them, I have discovered that they are pretty universal.

What is Emotional Dependency? Lydia consulted with me because her relationship with her husband, Andrew, was falling apart. Andrew had moved out, stating that he could no longer tolerate Lydia's neediness and constant pull on him to make her feel loved and secure. Now that they were separated, Lydia's emotional dependency was getting even worse. She was deeply addicted to Andrew making her feel better, if only through a brief text message.

In my work with couples, I often find a lack of trust at the root of many challenges they report. Trust is a Verb We have been taught to believe trust is a commodity to be earned by others. Once they have passed certain tests, then we feel safe to extend our trust. I would like to entertain ...

Clifford, 42, married with children, told me during a phone session that he was tired of not feeling happy and joyous. "As a small child, I remember being so happy and excited about life. But my parents didn't receive me at all. They were indifferent to my creativity and excitement." "Clifford, how did you feel when they didn't receive you?" "Shattered."

We've all seen cartoons in which a character shapes snow into a ball, perhaps to build a snowman. As the ball of snow is rolled, it grows bigger and bigger. Pretty soon that snowball is quite large and here comes a slope or hill... The next thing we see are the arms and legs of our beloved mouse, dog or other cartoon character sticking out from this gigantic snowball that is quickly rolling down the hill, continuing to grow and knock out anything in its way. Giant out-of-control snowballs are funny in cartoons, but there's nothing funny when jealousy snowballs in your relationship.

Many people don’t realize that they’re feeling emotionally abandoned or that they did as a child. They may be unhappy, but can’t put their finger on what it is. People tend to think of abandonment as something physical, like neglect.

Take a moment to go inside and see how you define success. Is your success defined by:

Years ago, when on a book tour for our book, "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", my ex-husband and I had dinner with a couple on the East Coast with whom he had become friends. I connected with Allison (not her real name) immediately. Warm and open, I could see that she was a deeply caring woman. On the other hand, her husband Ken, while overtly charming, had a huge black hole inside that felt like a vacuum cleaner sucking the energy out of everyone. His need for attention was overwhelming to me.

Many years ago, when I became a psychotherapist, all I knew was the traditional psychotherapy that I had learned in school, and that I had personally experienced with many different therapists and many different forms of therapy. For 18 years I practiced what I had learned, and I was never happy with the results.

"It's really important that you feel good. Because this feeling good is what goes out as a signal into the universe and starts to attract more of itself to you. So the more you can feel good, the more you will attract the things that help you feel good and that will keep bringing you up higher and higher." --Joe Vitale,?Author and Speaker The "Law of Attraction" states that like attracts like. Most Law of Attraction gurus state that there are four steps to manifestation:

Conflicting authority is the largest contributor to rebellion in children. When parents--authority--conflict it can cause rebellion in your children. You, as parents, need to have a united front for your children. Here are some tips on how this can be done. Rebellion is the result of conflicting authority. When authority can't provide a united front, it is very dangerous. There are several things you can do to provide a unified front before your kids. 1. Discuss rules and discipline together. Come to a full agreement on all aspects of it--before you implement them. 2.

The following article originally appeared on www.midlifebachelor.com on June 14, 2009 ... Choosing to invest in a new relationship directly affects your own level of personal happiness especially in the near-term ... and so it is extremely important to keep your eyes and ears open, and be aware of any potential incompatibilities as early as possible. There is absolutely no shame nor harm in cutting one's losses - because you are doing everyone a favor by ending it early if yo

What is Social Phobia? Social phobia - or social anxiety - is the fear of interacting with others in various situations: groups, work, school, parties, on the telephone, in a market or store, and so on. People with social phobia experience extreme anxiety or panic when they know that they have to talk or interact with others. They often find themselves isolating rather than risk the rejection or ridicule that they fear.

Most of us have many goals in life. These goals might have to do with work, finances, relationships and family. Some of the goals that many people strive for are to feel worthy, loved, and valued. Many people spend much time in their lives seeking the approval of others, believing that getting this approval will finally give them the love, safety, security, and sense of worth that they desire. The problem with this goal is that it is an impossible goal to achieve, because it is not others' love, attention and approval that bring about a deep sense of self-worth.

Here's A Relationship Question From Jessica: Jessica says “I met B at a wedding a few months ago and we hit it off nice. After a few dates we started sleeping together and we’ve been in a relationship since then. The first 3 months were hot and heavy, but since last week B suddenly stopped calling me. Out of the blue. No fights or disagreement or nothing. We had great sex the last time I saw him. He hasn’t responded to my text messages or answered my calls. I drove past his house the other night, his car was there and the lights were on.

Exactly how do you go about apologizing to your boyfriend once you realize it's necessary? Apologies imply fault, and for many people, the two hardest things to do are to admit they were wrong and say they're sorry. These steps are designed to help your boyfriend overcome whatever issues he's dealing with now, so that he can accept your apology and the two of you can move on: How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 1 Your timing can be critical. Trying to offer an apology whi

It’s time to get real with your relationships. Whether you are currently single or in a relationship, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions because this is part of the process of healing your relationships. In doing this you can heal those from the past, embrace the present and choose your future relationships with a new person or with your current partner. What do you want in a relationship? This may seem like an easy question yet it can produce some anxiety

Dear Dr. Neder: I have conflicting thoughts about whether or not it is okay for a female to initiate the conversation with the male. Many people that I know and even those on this board swear by the fact that it is the wrong thing to do. They say it will scare the man off or make him less interested or he'll think I'm easy or desperate. I have read your responses on this topic and I know you support the woman approaching the man.

Find a perfect man by Rosemary Price psychic. Most women long to find a perfect man and those who have a man are unlikely to be able to claim he is perfect. Either he has a fault or the excitement has gone out of the relationship. The perfect man has no faults and never becomes boring. How to find your perfect man will depend very much on you. Each woman has a different idea of what her perfect man would be like and what would be ideal for one might sound horrific to another.

There are two kinds of New Year's Resolutions: - What you are going to do to accomplish your goals - Who you want to be Many New Year's Resolutions are of the first kind: - I'm going to lose 25 pounds this year - I'm going to exercise every day - I'm going to learn self-discipline - I'm going to double my income - I'm going to learn to fly - I'm going to take piano lessons And so on....