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The voice is one of the most powerful tools you have to inspire and influence others. It is also one tool that often is unconsciously misuse. The voice has the ability to convey emotion, to give directions, to inspire and motivate others, to make things happen, to attract people and to discourage people. There are conscious things you can do to make certain your voice non-verbals match the words you say. With your voice, verbal communication is the words, and the non-verbal is everything else.

Ni Hao from Beijing….. As many of you know, my passion is understanding communication of all types yet, I have to admit learning languages is not a strong suit of mine! Even after two years of university level Spanish all I remember is "Donde esta el bano por favor?" Granted, good to know, but of limited use, especially here in Beijing. Ni Hao and xiè xiè are the only two words I've learned (so far). I'm having to make do with the universal language of a smile here in China (and the occasional interpreter).

See a Glimpse into Your Future If you think you don't know what you want for the future, think again. Your subconscious knows more than you think. Ten minutes, a pen and a paper will act as a crystal ball for your ideal future in five years. Print these instructions do the exercise and then share your future surprises. It's fun and it works! This is a nonstop writing exercise. The key to having this work is that you write NONSTOP for ten minutes. It is a stream of consciousness exercise that will awaken the creative right side of your brain.

Have you ever heard things like, “She’s nice, but not leadership material.” He’s just not confident enough for the job” but you know you are confident and leadership material. I know how frustrating that can be – to be judged before they even know you, maybe even before you’ve even opened your mouth! Attendees of my trainings tell me those and similar sad phrases that keep them from getting ahead all the time. Why does that happen?

The marketplace is more competitive than ever. As the economy continues to struggle, you know competition for jobs continues to be tight. Hitting a job interview out of the park takes a combination of things — a great resume, strong answers to questions and the right look. Sure, a good suit, smile with eye contact, firm handshake and a haircut help. But often overlooked is what your body language is saying and is it matching what your mouth is saying?

Love the holidays, but hate those family gatherings? Do you find yourself praying for a “new” family member just so your family might be on best behavior that day? (You know it won’t last, but you can dream.) Are there family members that always seem to want to start a fight, or can’t let that embarrassing moment from 1971 go?

As a long-time owner of several marketing and communication businesses I’ve been around long enough to see major changes in the way women (and men) view work. My formative years were influenced by Helen Reddy lyrics “I am woman, hear me roar… In numbers too big to ignore…” and television jingles telling me “…I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan…” The novel idea that women can do anything a man can do including business was firmly implanted in my young brain. Women of the 70’s began to balance work and home with “Super Mom” set up as the ideal. It was a stressful goal.

The Consumer Driven Strategic Planning Model© was created by Patty Sadallah in the mid 1980’s as a way to help non-profits to understand that they cannot plan in a vacuum. Too many organizations were working through their strategic planning processes without considering the exte al factors affecting their industries, neighborhoods and economies. And, they were making it WAY too complicated. It is really a matter of having your board and staff leadership work through a series of questions in a certain order and before too long, you have a viable working strategic plan.

Is ANGER steering you or someone you care about off course? Maybe the ANGER is set on Autopilot! Have you ever noticed there is really little one can control except how we choose to react?

<img border="0" src="http://sharonsayler.com/wp-content/uploads/ThanksgivingFish.jpg" width="463" height="116"> Good day! And a Terrific Tuesday to you! Well, here we are again just a couple of days away from Thanksgiving. Thank you for being part of my world. Have you ever noticed that this time of year can bring out the best and the worst in us? Often our time to be grateful feels more like our nerves are grating…. Here are 3 of my favorite family survival tips – please share your tips in the comment section below! Survival tip #1: Be Proactive.

Being clear about your personal or organizational mission can catapult you toward success. It will give you focus and help you to know what work is inside and outside of your niche, and keep you on track. So, whether you are a small business owner or solopreneur or a nonprofit executive, this next exercise will help you clarify your mission. Mission statements don't need to be long, boring or dust collectors. They can be vibrant statements that actually give you direction. This quick mission statement guide can be used as a personal or organizational exercise to help you gain focus.

“I may be here for a short while, gone tomorrow into oblivion or until the days come to take me away. But, in whatever part you play, be remembered as part of a legacy...of sharing dreams and changing humanity for the better. It's that legacy that never dies.” Unknown.

“Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait: The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas. : Henry Ford. Last week, I visited my mom in a rehab nursing facility. She’s recovering there from a hip replacement surgery. There was a man playing piano in the activities room and he was fantastic. But, there was someone there that made me smile even more than the piano man. She was dancing with the biggest beam on her face, remembering.

Good day! And a Terrific Tuesday to you! Well, here we are again just a couple of days away from Thanksgiving. Thank you for being part of my world. Have you ever noticed that this time of year can bring out the best and the worst in us? Often our time to be grateful feels more like our nerves are grating.... Here are 3 of my favorite survival tips - please share your tips in the comment section of my blog at http://sharonsayler.com/Martha Survival tip #1: Be Proactive.

“When a paradigm shifts, everything goes back to zero. “ Joel Barker. In his now famous video from 1988 called Discovering the Future: The Business of Paradigms, Joel Barker introduced the concept of paradigm shifts into the business vocabulary. A paradigm is a set of rules and boundaries and the problem solving system for being successful within those rules.

“Learn to pause, or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.” -Doug King. Have you ever worked so hard on something or thought so much about it that you felt nearly paralyzed? I have. It can feel like the momentum is sucked right out of you. In cases like that, I know it’s time to step back and let the power of incubation take over. When we work things too hard using our left brain, or more logical side, we can stifle our right, more creative side of our brain. So, when you feel stuck, tired, or like you are losing some steam, step away from your work and let it incubate.

Many entrepreneurs and small business owners are great at what they do yet often times without much experience at running a business… this can leave them feeling overwhelmed, overworked, burnt-out or just tired of trying to figure it out. Sometimes you can get so engrossed in figuring-it-out, you may "not being able to see the forest, but for the trees…."

“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.” C. S. Lewis. Did you make any mistakes today? Who doesn’t? We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. Do you realize that failure is really only failure if you don’t learn something from it? With the right mindset, you can go through your entire life without ever really failing. If things came too easy for you, you would never be challenged to improve?

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force...When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life...When we listen to people there is an alte ating current, and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each other...and it is this little creative fountain inside us that begins to spring and cast up new thoughts and unexpected laughter and wisdom.

Have you seen that classical Christmas time film it’s a Wonderful Life? George Bailey has the seemingly perfect life: a loving wife, Mary, four beautiful children, and his own business. However, on Christmas Eve, George has serious business difficulties at the Bailey Building and Loan. George has a major financial crisis when his Uncle Billy loses the cash they owe the bank. The unsympathetic bank owner, Mr. Potter makes things worse. This leads George to a life crisis, and he considers suicide.

Are you sure you understand what's really happening? The other day, I spent a lovely evening around the dinner table with two Yale alum and seven current students. After awhile, the conversation turned to what I do… always a conversation starter and stopper if you know what I mean…. Nothing can get people self-conscious quicker then to know they are having dinner with a body language expert.

Are you sure you understand? Are you sure you are being understood? Let's get right to the heart of the overall problem. Too often time is wasted, mistakes made, and conflict arises because of misunderstandings.

“You just have to be opportunistic, and try to figure out what creates value... Where the bottom is, what creates incremental value, and in what combinations.”~ John Malone. Did you know that bloodhounds are the animal kingdoms best detectives? They have a sense of smell that is 40 times more sensitive than humans. They take in scent information and are absolutely relentless until they find the source of that scent. They are so accurate in their ability to track people and things with their superior snouts that their findings are admissible in a court of law.

"Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." – Robert Collier. It’s so easy in this day and age to be impatient with success. Patience is definitely not a virtue that is a cultural norm in the USA in 2010. So, it’s really easy to think that we are failures if we don’t make a million dollars in 3 months like the Guru’s on the inte et would have us believe.

On three occasions in the last month I have met people who have referenced stuff they learned from the rules and structure of improvisational comedy. Once is rare, twice, is an interesting coincidence, but, three times is a pattern that is worth looking into.

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“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” Unknown. Have you ever met anyone like this person who has tapped the ‘deep well where passion lives’? They have that quiet energy, that charisma that tells you that they have found the secret. They are living in a place where knowledge, skills and talent are all working in perfect harmony, passionately pursuing their dreams. Have you met someone like that? Are you someone like that? It’s wonderful to be in their presence isn’t it?

“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.” Tony Robbins. We all serve in some fashion. But, have you noticed that some people serve better than others. They serve with more sincerity, with more willingness, while others seem to be serving out of some selfish motive. What a turn off. By way of analogy, let’s look at the worldviews of the dog and the cat. Let’s look at the world through the eyes of a dog for a moment: The dog observes that the owner feeds, cares and loves him.

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“Testimonials represent the most powerful, productive and profitable promotional strategy I have ever encountered. Stop looking for a magic bullet recipe that will attract clients or advance your career. "Instead, hone your craft, develop your expertise or build your skills to such an extent that clients and colleagues will brag about you and your value." Michael Hughes. Testimonials are free and they are gold. If I were to go on and on about how great I am, I bet you would roll your eyes. Somehow when we toot our own horn, it's a bit off putting to people.

"To reach great heights, a person needs to have great depth." (Anonomous) When someone becomes your dream partner, they choose to actively help you to acheive success. They become your informal sales force and, done properly, you become theirs. The right person's word of mouth can be just enough to take you to epidemic levels of success. If I plan to endorse you to my friends, family, colleagues and Redwood Sisters, I want to know that you are worthy of that endorsement. So, first and foremost, you better have integrity.

'Lost' Episode It was as if Emily Browne was starring in an episode of 'Lost,' with all of her recalling and flashbacks of the past with her best friend. She remembered she used to be thin and stinky. In stark contrast, today she is overweight, but fortunately no longer stinky. Like a Secret Love-Affair Much like an alcoholic, Emily Browne used to pre-plan cigarette breaks; looking forward to where and when she could meet up with her vice. It had been like a secret love affair.

“Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy.” - A.H. Maslow. As I reflect on the upcoming Thanksgiving Day celebration, I reflect on the above quote and think about Lisa. Lisa Ryan is The Appreciation Strategist and is my best friend. She is the Maslow quote personified. Her mission in life is to help people realize the power of gratitude in their businesses and in their lives. She lives it daily and challenges others to do the same.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Suess. My 12 year old daughter Noelle has a confidence about her that is unprecedented for her age. She decided that Fridays would be crazy high sock and converse tennis shoe day. She tried to solicit her friends to go along with her in this notion, but, they bailed on the idea and left her the only one in school wearing loud high socks and converse tennis shoes that first Friday of 7th grade. One popular kid came up to her and made a snide remark about her crazy look.

You don't realize how important some things are until you stop doing them – take breathing for instance…. Breathing seems natural enough, we do it on 'auto-pilot' — thank goodness! Can you imagine what it would be like if you had to remind yourself to breathe in, breathe out? Yet, is your breathing auto-pilot working correctly?

Women’s shoes can be the catalyst for a long and happy marriage. One type of women’s shoes in particular can be a big boon; the iconic and enduring high heel. Victoria Beckham may have lost her contract with Armani for underwear ads, yet it is doubtful she is going to lose her husband anytime soon. He always looks smitten with his wife, which is refreshing and endearing. It seems she must be doing something right to keep her husband so attentive. So, let’s take a few tips from Ms.

"Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen." Lee Iacocca. There are actually two secrets in todays post: the first is to know what you want and the second is to work hard to get it. Successful people are very clear about what they want and day by day they work toward it. Part of knowing what you want is knowing who you are. Your dream is an extention of you. Your ideal client is a reflection of you. What would you want to do if you knew you couldn't fail? Who do you see yourself being in the future? A CEO?

You may not realize it, but all of us allow metaphors to powerfully affect our thoughts and feelings. If we aren't careful, a negative metaphor will get a stronghold and really take us down. A positive one can catapult us forward. Negative metaphors lead to negative thoughts that lead to negative behaviors. Battle and conflict are at the core of the negative metaphor worldview. With this mindset there are winners and losers and too often, we associate ourselves with the losers. How have you allowed the economy to affect your mindset, for example?

“You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.” Steve Garvey. At a recent Redwood Sisterhood breakfast, I challenged the ladies to set an outrageous 90 day goal. What is an outrageous goal? It’s a goal that is so challenging, yet doable, that it nearly makes you want to throw up with anxiety. Why would I want you to nearly throw up with anxiety? Because stretching yourself to just beyond where you think you can go makes you get there.

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” Ashley Smith The other day I was at a meeting and there were two women. Both were in the midst of incredible health challenges. Anna and Grace both had cancer and both had been struggling with their illnesses for years. Both had been given poor prognosis, and yet, both were still alive beyond those dates.

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew." Saint Francis de Sales. Do you struggle with patience with yourself? I know that I do. I want things to happen NOW. Maybe it's my American need for immediate gratification that fuels my impatience for success. Everything else around us is fast, why can't our success come as quickly? When you work toward your dream, you are planting a seed.

“It's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.” Tony Robbins. My mother is a photographer by hobby. So, we always had cameras lying around the house when I was growing up. Not the kind of cameras that we have today that automatically focus for you.

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your Vision is the promise of what you shall one day be. Your Ideal (vision) is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.” -James Allen . We had a cool vision exercise as the final intervention of my masters program. Our intact group of students had spent two years learning how to be Organization Development Consultants and this exercise was the last one of our final class on Career Development. How would we put into motion, all that we had learned and turn it into a lifelong passionate career?

It's tangible, it's solid, it's beautiful. It's artistic, from my standpoint, and I just love real estate.- Every day, you'll have opportunities to take chances and to work outside your safety net. Sure, it's a lot easier to stay in your comfort zone.. in my case, business suits and real estate.. but sometimes you have to take risks. When the risks pay off, that's when you reap the biggest rewards. Donald Trump.

“Joint Ventures are in, and if you’re not utilizing this strategic weapon, chances are your competition is, or will soon be, using this to their advantage…possibly against you!” Valerie Orsoni-Vauthey. If the number one way to build your business is to grow your mailing list, the number one way to grow it quickly is to employ joint venture strategies. Simply explained, a joint venture is when two or more parties agree to promote each other to their mailing lists.

“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.” ~ Ashleigh Brillian. This month, I decided to ‘get off the hamster wheel’ and take a break from some of my regularly scheduled obligations so that I could pray, rest and regain some strength. Don’t you sometimes just get weary of the race sometimes? You get so busy that you don’t stop to get a little perspective on things.

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“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” ~Abraham Maslow. On vacation last summer, my family was planning a parasailing adventure. I was planning to sit in the boat and watch them go up. I am afraid of heights, so it just seemed too scary for me. That morning, while I was sitting by the pool, a lady in her 70’s was sitting next to me. We got to talking about parasailing and she said that she had just gone the day before at it was such a thrill.

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“Each one of you has something no one else has, or has ever had: your fingerprints, your brain, your heart. Be an individual. Be unique. Stand out. Make noise. Make someone notice. That's the power of individuals.” Jon Bon Jovi. Last week I was in one of those stores that had the large jungle gym for kids. There was one of those big bins filled with plastic balls for kids to jump in. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of them in that bin. Now, imagine that each of those balls represents someone who does something similar to what you do.