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- Abusive Behavior Part 3 - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2007 from Wayne MisnerAbusive Behavior Part 3 By Wayne L. Misner (MenDontListen@aol.com) 18. Were you abusive with your children? The breakdown of the 94.71% who answered: Male Female ...
Views: 1278 - Abusive Behavior Part 2 - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2007 from Wayne MisnerAbusive Behavior Part 2 By Wayne L. Misner (MenDontListen@aol.com) 12. Do you physically force or emotionally coerce your partner to have sex? The breakdown of the 98.43% who answered: ...
Views: 1464 - Abusive Behavior-Part1 - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2007 from Wayne MisnerIt's very possible the questionnaire can be skewed in various ways. For a number of reasons more women have filled out the form. It’s possible that men who have been abused may be too embarrassed to admit it. Mirroring the old joke of men not asking for directions, it seems they ...
Views: 1438 - Preemptive Defensiveness - by A Memo by Speaker Allen
Copyright © 1994, 2001 by ASC Missions Group, ntc.
The major cause of abuse, of every type, is an attitude we call preemptive defensiveness. Preemptive defensiveness is the result of powerful internal decisions reinforced by strong victim-type feelings. The decisions ...
Views: 937 - Beyond Anon: The Next 12 Steps - by Some 65 years ago, Bill Wilson the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, proclaimed that during one of his darkest times, “a bright light” appeared to him with the 12 Steps of AA, offering him sobriety. And since that date, millions have found help through the program! Likewise, there have been many ...
Views: 2076 - Words Do Hurt – Stop Bullying from Affecting Your Health - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2007 from Ainsley Laing-The man who quits his job because of harassment. -The woman whose husband stays out late at night repeatedly and tells her he is entitled to do what he wants. -The child whose parent tells him often “you are lazy”. What do these people have in common? All of them have relationships with ...
Views: 6155 - Incest and the Inner Child - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2007 from Jane RowanWhen a child growing up is traumatized by incest, usually he or she is forced to hide the trauma and “act normal.” The wounded part gets split off so the pain and shame can become secret, even to the child herself. Sometimes actual memories of abuse are suppressed or lost, while ...
Views: 1796 - What Do You Do With Your Anger? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2007 from Wayne MisnerI would like to thank the men and women who took the time to share their personal stories and complete the survey questions for us. This was not a scientific survey. However the candid answers may help the reader who is going through the same type of emotions. (The questions and a small sampling ...
Views: 1570 - WATCH FOR THE RED FLAGS - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2007 from Wayne MisnerA number of years ago, one of the well-known women’s magazines surveyed divorced women. One question asked was, “Why did you get a divorce?” The answers were--he was lazy, would not work, an alcoholic, on drugs, cheated, was abusive (emotional, physical, sexual, mental, verbal), and many other ...
Views: 881 - Abuse Survivor's Series: Using Overreactions to Begin Healing Our Childhood Wounds - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2007 from Stephanie GagosAbuse Survivor's Series: Using Overreactions To Begin Healing Our Childhood Wounds By: Stephanie Gagos As an abused child I frequently detached as a way of coping with what was happening to me and even though most of my memories were devoid of emotion, it did not mean I was not experiencing ...
Views: 1826 - 20 Signs that you may have a problem with booze - by Submitted on May 23, 2010 from John McMahonYou know that you have got a problem with booze when: 1 before every party or social occasion your partner asks you “not to drink too much tonight”. 2 you feel that everyone in your company drinks too slowly or doesn’t know how to let their hair down and have a good time ...
Views: 1894 - How to Overcome Childhood Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2007 from Piercarla GarusiHaving worked with many clients recovering from childhood emotional abuse, and having experienced it myself, I want to share my learning with you, in the hope that it will help you be well, feel good, be happy and create the life you desire and deserve. The most important relationship you have ...
Views: 16099 - Commit to End Binge Eating - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Kristin GerstleyWhen you want to stop binge eating, you need to make a decision and change your old habits. Perhaps these habits have been around for years, but no matter how long they have been your fallback, you need to make changes and create new, positive habits for yourself. You need to end the pattern. ...
Views: 3537 - Will It Ever End - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2006 from Jessica DillardA lot of people in life think there life is just awful and that it can't get any worse, well I am here to tell you my life and that it could be worse. I am 18 years old. My mother left me when I was born for drugs. My father took me. He also sexually abused me from age 2 till 11. At 11 I tryed ...
Views: 978 - The Abuse Survivor's Series: Paying Attention to Your Life - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2006 from Stephanie GagosAs a survivor of multiple forms of childhood abuse, I am aware of how damaging the abuse was to my sense of self, but it is what I think and believe today, that can either reverse the damage or perpetuate it. As children we may have dissociated, detached and pretended that we were not there ...
Views: 848 - Recovered memories of childhood abuse - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2006 from Jane RowanWhy are memories of abuse so often hidden? This is a really hard question for people in recovery from abuse, for therapists, and for researchers. In my case, I didn’t recognize one of my early childhood memories as a memory of abuse until I was in my fifties. Then physical memories started to ...
Views: 1373 - To Forgive is the act of a Victim - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2006 from Clive TaylorThis is a radical proposition, in the interests of real self-empowerment. To link how we feel about ourselves and what our real nature is and how we see and experience the world, to how we feel about someone else or how they treat us – whether with love, hate, pity or fear – Is to give away our ...
Views: 863 - Daily Homework - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2006 from Harry HenshawWe learn much of what we learn initially through repetitious exposure. It is by becoming present to something repeatedly that space is created for us to learn anew. It is by taking that which we are exposed to and bringing it forth into our life, committing it to action, that we begin to ...
Views: 796 - Soothing Your Inner Child - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2010 from Jane RowanGetting in touch with our inner children is not always easy. At first it might seem that they just want to cry and cry. That’s natural. The parts of us that were split off at a young age had to go away for good reasons—abuse, fear, neglect, misunderstanding. These young parts were not ...
Views: 1776 - Is freedom of speech now a selective privilege? - by Submitted on May 23, 2010 from John McMahon“The two pillars of 'political correctness' are: a) willful ignorance b) a steadfast refusal to face the truth” George MacDonald Last week (19/05/06) Sandra Kanck, an MP in Australia, stood up in Parliament and told the house that ecstasy “is not a dangerous drug” and “could have been used ...
Views: 1392 - Learning the Language of Feelings - by Submitted on May 11, 2006 from Mark Linden OMearaLearning the Language of Feelings An excerpt from The Feeling Soul – A Roadmap to Healing and Living Mark Linden O’Meara, Soul Care Publishing ISBN: 0-968045928 Available at Amazon.com Part of self growth and developing self-knowledge involves learning to express the feelings, ideas and ...
Views: 2112 - The Secrets of Emotional Abuse Recovery For Women - by Submitted on May 07, 2006 from Annie Kaszina1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never ...
Views: 13489(2 votes) - I Have Already Lost One Child – Please Help Me Not To Lose Another - by Submitted on May 03, 2006 from Barry RocheI once acted for a woman who had four children, ALL of whom were the victims of extreme Domestic Violence. In fact, by the time she came to see me she had already lost her eldest son to suicide brought about through extreme and repeated abuse inflicted by his father. I will never forget her ...
Views: 1242 - Adult Children of Abuse living with a Chronic Illness: A Challenge to Self Care - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2006 from Keesha MayesI grew up in a very violent and dysfunctional home. I endured many abuses that haunt me to this day! I believed, that when I left home at 15 years old, I was leaving behind the agony, pain and confusion of my family. But there was still so much suffering within me that I had not recognized and ...
Views: 1383 - The Hidden Effects of Childhood Maltreatment and How Life Coaching Can Help - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2005 from debra tulllisViolence against women is one of the primary health problems facing adults today. Many people are not aware that childhood maltreatment is a powerful risk factor for health problems in adulthood. Its victims can suffer lifelong health effects. Maltreatment is best viewed as a risk factor ...
Views: 1112 - Mental Abuse - The Seven Most Important Things To Know - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2005 from Annie Kaszina1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never ...
Views: 1652 - How Victims are Affected by Abuse - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2005 from Sam VakninRepeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks (intrusive memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms. The victims experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, ...
Views: 1171 - Sexual Abuse. A Story From A Survivor. - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2005 from Fatimah MusaUncle Liam was very kind to me again. He gave me more candies when I went to his grocery shop. He always did. But I did not understand why he likes to touch and pinch my cheek. My visit to Uncle Liam’s shop was quite frequent. He has a daughter about my age and we played together a lot. Mom and ...
Views: 1120 - A Definition of the Word Abuse - by Submitted on May 25, 2005 from Kerrith KingA Definition of the Word Abuse" is excerpted from The Spouse Abuse Tutorial located at . We begin with a definition of the word abuse. If you enter the word "abuse" in Google (the internet search engine) it brings up more than 20,000 references. What's interesting is that no two of the web ...
Views: 3856(1 vote) - Leaving The Child Behind. Recovery From Child Abuse. - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2005 from Fatimah MusaI looked at my father for the last time before he was finally laid to rest. And I said to myself, "I forgive you father". I have forgiven him but I have not forgotten the turmoil, terror and abuse that I went through. My father was working away most of the time when I was growing up. But when ...
Views: 3036 - My JOURNEY of LOVE - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2005 from Danish AhmedBack in 1976, my family was living in Pakistan, where I was conceived. My dad had borrowed just enough money to fly himself to Canada. It took him four years before he could save up the money to fly my mom and my five siblings to Canada as well. So, I had absolutely no communication with my ...
Views: 971(2 votes) - LIFE COACHING STRATEGY: RESOLVE ABUSE & TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2005 from Piercarla GarusiLife Coaching is all about the present and the future; it is all about taking control of our lives, now, and creating the future we want. It is not about analysing events of the past or going back to old emotions. But it is true that what we are today is the result of what we have experienced, ...
Views: 1307 - How To Eliminate Guilt & Practice Total Forgivness - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2004 from Kent SayreEliminating Guilt And Practicing Forgiveness Today, I’m going to show you how to eliminate guilt and practice forgiveness. So you’re getting two for one today. Guilt is normally that nagging feeling where you feel bad for something you did. Maybe you did something that you wished you ...
Views: 2713 - Are You A Hopium Addict? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2004 from Annie KaszinaAre You A ‘Hopium Addict?’ If the question alone was enough to make you recoil in horror, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the term couldn’t possibly apply to you. You may not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are a closet hopium addict. What is the ...
Views: 3524(1 vote) - Abuse Me, Lose Me - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2004 from richard jonesIt's usually much easier to get into an abusive relationship than to get out of it. Everything from fear of retaliation to feeling helpless can make it difficult for a victim of abuse to sever ties with the abuser. Things like unemployment, underemployment, codependency, and not wanting the ...
Views: 1939(1 vote) - Coping With Your Abuser - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2003 from Sam VakninHow to cope with your abuser? Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. They easily sway the system in their favor. Here is a list of escalating countermeasures. They represent the ...
Views: 1596(2 votes) - Drunk Driving - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2003 from David HillDrunk driving involvement in fatal motor-vehicle crashes is on the rise. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, alcohol was involved in 41 percent of fatal crashes in 1995. Between 1982 and 1993, 266,291 deaths in the United States were alcohol related - one fatality ...
Views: 1089(1 vote) - Victim Mentality - Part 2 - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2003 from Barbara BakerIn a previous article I talked about survivors who are unable to move on with their lives and/or having the attitude that everything that is wrong in their life is the result of another person. In that article it was discussed about how important forgiving yourself is so you can move on. So ...
Views: 7804(2 votes) - Victim Mentality - by Submitted on May 19, 2003 from Barbara BakerHow would you answer this question: I am out of my abuse and have moved on with my life. There is something that I have been wondering about. How and when does the abuse stop playing a significant part of my life? I have seen others who have moved on and I would like to know how they did ...
Views: 28979(4 votes) - Mourning the Narcissist - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2003 from Sam VakninAt the commencement of the relationship, the Narcissist is a dream-come-true. He is often intelligent, witty, charming, good looking, an achiever, empathetic, in need of love, loving, caring, attentive and much more. He is the perfect bundled answer to the nagging questions of life: finding ...
Views: 4118(1 vote) - Traumas as Social Interactions - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2003 from Sam Vaknin("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She"). We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on ...
Views: 1296(1 vote) - The Malignant Optimism of the Abused - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2003 from Sam VakninI often come across sad examples of the powers of self-delusion that the narcissist provokes in his victims. It is what I call "malignant optimism". People refuse to believe that some questions are unsolvable, some diseases incurable, some disasters inevitable. They see a sign of hope in every ...
Views: 1844(1 vote) - Facilitating Narcissism - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2003 from Sam Vaknin"The new narcissist is haunted not by guilt but by anxiety. He seeks not to inflict his own certainties on others but to find a meaning in life. Liberated from the superstitions of the past, he doubts even the reality of his own existence. Superficially relaxed and tolerant, he finds little use ...
Views: 1641(1 vote) - The Psychology of Torture - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2003 from Sam VakninThere is one place in which one's privacy, intimacy, integrity and inviolability are guaranteed - one's body, a unique temple and a familiar territory of sensa and personal history. The torturer invades, defiles and desecrates this shrine. He does so publicly, deliberately, repeatedly and, ...
Views: 1948(1 vote) - What is Abuse? - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2003 from Sam VakninAbusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, and control. There are a million ways to abuse. To love too much is to abuse. It is tantamount to treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification. To be over-protective, not to ...
Views: 1508(1 vote) - Incest and Child Sexual Abuse: Definitions, Perpetrators, Victims, and Effects - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Kali MunroIncest and Child Sexual Abuse: Definitions, Perpetrators, Victims, and Effects Definition of Child Sexual Abuse Child sexual abuse is any form of sexual activity with a child by an adult, or by another child where there is no consent or consent is not possible; or by another child who has ...
Views: 3287 - Time for Healing! - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Joseph GhabiTime for Healing We have to go through some unfortunate experiences sometimes in our life. When you speak with other people you will always find out how easy your experience is in comparison to what they have suffered. The impact that experience has brought on your life cannot be identified in ...
Views: 1698(1 vote) - Why Sit Here Until I Die? - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Audrina BuntonThe bible tells a story about four men who sat at the entrance of the city's gate dying with leprosy, an incurable disease which causes terribly visible swelling and sores on the skin, only then to eat inward to the bones. These lepers sat outside of the city because they were not permitted to ...
Views: 2804(3 votes) - Stepping Out of the Realm of Fear - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2011 from Monique RiderAs a survivor of domestic violence, I have learned that fear can play a big part in keeping women locked in abusive relationships. Some of those fears are very real and some are just illusions. Threats by the abuser, threats against the children, or physical violence are truly real fears. ...
Views: 2004(3 votes)