We have all been there- somewhere we do not want to be and know we should not be. I am no exception.

Whether it is in a job that drains us emotionally, a relationship that is bad for us or if we just have a habit that we know we should be “breaking” permeate, the solution is same: Start from the inside and work your way out.

Below is a list of steps that you should be taking in order to begin the change that needs to occur in your life.

These steps were designed to be done over a period of 14 to 16 days- about one per day.

Step 1: Start by giving yourself credit. You are already making progress in changing the direction your life is heading. Reading these steps is proof of that.

Step 2: Do not push yourself too hard or beat yourself up for being in a bad or less then desirable scenario. Doing that will get you nowhere. Although it will not be instantaneous, have faith as your life will change (I promise).

Step 3: Develop a support team. Start by creating a list of people (and services) in your life or in your community that could be of some assistance to you during this time.

Look for no non-sense, honest, understanding and non-judgemental people to surround yourself with. Having someone on your team who has been where you are and made the change you want to would be ideal.

Now reach out and connect. This is a big step and you will be glad you did it (I was glad I did).

Step 4: Think of a special place in your area where you feel relaxed. If you do not have one, try the following places: Church, library, woods or beach - even your car.

Make a commitment to yourself to spend sometime there. Use this time solely for you. Treating yourself good is also a way to honor God as He made you and thus you are intrinsically connected to Him. Read, pray, or just express thanks to God. Even if you feel you have nothing to thank God for start with thanking Him for this time).

This time is crucial to developing your spiritual connectedness and creating a good foundation for your life from which all else good will flow (trust me on this).

Step 5: Write down exactly how you would like your life to be. Do it piece by piece if you have to, but do it. Not having a “vision” for your life is like not having an internal compass- you just live aimlessly.

Step 6: Make a list of all your good qualities. Make this an honest assessment of who you are. Save it and re-read it periodically.

Step 7: Increase your self esteem. The number one way to create lasting change is to increase your self worth.

Without a doubt the most effective way to do this is by repeating affirmations. This will change your mind’s wiring (also referred to as your neuro linguistic programming.) And following your increase in self worth your life will absolutely, 100% follow.

Sample affirmations:

“I love myself.”
“I am whole.”
“I approve of myself.”

Repeat these affirmations as often as you can. Aim for 100 times each day. The more you do this, the faster your life will change.

Step 8: Understand that sometimes in order for good to come, bad may have to make its way through your life first. For example, you may lose a part time job causing you to gain a full time career somewhere else. This is just the way God works.

Step 9: Read the Bible. Start with Luke. That was where I started. Read one passage per day. You will be amazed at the wisdom you learn and the security you feel knowing God really will take care of all- if you allow Him to.

Step 10: Let it go. Lay whatever your big, no good and pressing problem is today that you feel you cannot solve on your Father’s shoulder’s. Trust Him to figure it out and let you know.

Step 11: Make a list of nice things to do for yourself. Things that you enjoy. Strive to do one per day.

Step 12: Although you should only go at a pace that works for you, you should still have a to-do list. Not having a to-do list is like (once again) not having a compass. Start with things you know you will be able to complete (like repeating your affirmations.)

Step 13: Forgive those who have harmed you. It was wrong what they did, but they must have had a messed up life themselves to do what has been done. As awful as it was, what happened to you may have happened because it was meant to, even if you do not know why yet. You need to forgive them to find peace yourself. Keep in mind that forgiving does not mean continuing to associate with them if they are bad for you.

Step 14: Forgive yourself. For whatever you feel guilty or bad about. Then confess to someone and to God. This is one of the first steps to having God forgive you. Knowing what you did was wrong, and then confessing such is an important step to self forgiveness and forgiveness from God. Follow this up with deciding how to make amends to those you have harmed.

Step 15: Be realistic. If you need therapy or a support group or a coach (depending on your situation) get one.

Step 16: Smile. That’s it for step 16- just smile.

Author's Bio: 

Mackenzie Pearce is coach and the director of the Coaching Academy of North America Inc. Mackenzie herself has had to deal with tough situations in her life such as being molested and growing up in an unstable home. Mackenzie invites you to email here with any questions you may have. director@coachtrainingacademy.com

Make a difference in someone’s life. Become a Christian coach. http://www.CoachTrainingAcademy.com