5 Ways to Help You Deal With A Break-up

Losing someone you love is hard no matter what, but there are a few things you can do that will help ease your pain during the transition period.

1. Love yourself more

Learn to love yourself unconditionally. Accept the fact that your not perfect. Your only human after all and we all make mistakes. That’s not a bad thing, that is how we learn. Success is found through failure.

Listen for and turn negative self talk into positive self love. Get into the habit of noticing when you are being your own worst enemy. Your untrained mind can be your biggest saboteur. When you notice that your telling yourself your not good enough in some way, remember to stop…and if you can, turn it around into something nice you can say about yourself instead. This reinforces your knowing that you ARE in control. This will get easier as you practice it.

Take a warm bubble bath or join a gym. Do something out of the ordinary that you and your ex didn’t do together. Above all, be patient and be kind to You.

2. Meet new people

Go to the movies with an old friend or go for coffee with new one! Take a walk in the park and strike up a conversation with someone by asking questions about their dog, baby, the book they are reading...anything to break the ice. When you dare to come out of your shell and open up to another, you open the doors to new friendships that might otherwise never come to be. This gets easier every time you do it and your self confidence will grow too. Suddenly meeting new people is a joy instead of a chore.

3. Improve your existing relationships

When a break up is fresh in your mind it is easy to fall into a negative thinking pattern. A good remedy for this is to talk to someone you trust. Open up to them and then listen to what they have to say with an open mind.

When people have just been through a tragic event or loss of a loved one we become very sensitive and can be more aware of the present moment. While we are in shock, very focused on something, or on an adrenalin high, our minds seem to shut down and time stops. This is perfect timing for you to start easily chipping away at your internal barriers and allow others in even closer to your heart.

Spend more quality time with family and friends and ask them questions that will help you get to know them on a deeper level. You might be surprised about what you could learn from someone you think you know so well. People love to talk about themselves and their experiences. Take time to really listen.

4. Take time out for inner reflection and growth (This is where Peacefulness hides)

Meditation is a great tool and highly under explored. If you don’t practice meditation yet, may I strongly urge you to begin now. Just like a commitment to any relationship, you have to make a commitment to yourself that you will take baby steps towards a better life. Taking 15-20 minutes a day is a small gesture to prove to yourself that you care. A short daily meditation practice will improve your energy level, health and increase happiness and inner peace immediately.

Read a variety of books and articles that will open your mind and expand your awareness about life and our universe. Reading something that is the complete opposite of what you usually read will also help give you a bigger perspective on what is possible in life. If you like reading fiction for example, pick up a true story next time. Take a different route home from work one evening instead of the same old same old. Watch a different TV show tonight then usual or rent a drama instead of that horror film, you get the picture. All this 'opposite action' will keep your mind busy on the new instead of replaying the old recordings over and over again.

It is imperative to your healing that you consciously look for little things in your life to be grateful for everyday. The more you look, the more you will find.

5. Honor your feelings.

After a break up or loss of any relationship there is a gap of time before your mind ‘catches’ up with the fact that you wont be spending anymore time with the other person. The mind looks for familiar situations and when feels that it is missing something out of the ordinary it can sometimes go ballistic and takes off like a mad hatter. It is most important to be aware of all your feelings and let them pass through you instead of holding them tight or resisting them. So if you feel like crying, then cry; let it all out. When your happy and feel like laughing, then laugh! I don’t care if your in the middle of the line up at the grocery store…if you feel like laughing then please, just do it! I did this one day at the bank and before you know it the entire line up and the tellers were laughing too.

Get real and be honest with yourself. Keep a journal where you can let out all your emotions, both good and bad. Get your story out from beginning to end and when your finished writing it, burn it, right along with all the negative feelings that accompany it.

Your feelings are your own personal GPS system that will never steer you wrong. Fine tune the communication between your feelings and your understanding of them and you will forever find yourself on the right path in life.

Know that you are worthy of love and you have the right to be treated with respect and kindness. Everyone deserves and has access to infinite happiness but are at a loss when they fail to find it in others. When you realize that your joy comes from within then you will be happy no matter what is going on around you or who you are sharing your life and time with.

You are perfect, whole and loved tremendously already and you are sadly mistaken if you believe that you need someone in your life in order to be fulfilled or happy. Your own inner peace and contentment should always be your first priority in life. Being Happy is your life's purpose.

Peace and Love to you.