Exercises To Do Together
by Al Link and Pala Copeland


Candles are one of the most useful aids for creating your own romantic rituals and celebrations, for remembering loved ones you cannot be with right now, or for healing the separation between enemies.

Time for Exercise: 10 minutes

Properties Required: a number of small candles (birthday candles are about the right size), the same number of small flat-bottom paper bags, the same number of small paper plates, and one or more larger candles for dripping wax onto the inside bottoms of the bags to attach the smaller candles.


  1. Open the paper bags. Use the larger candles to drip wax into the paper bags. Secure one birthday candle upright inside of each paper bag. Place each bag onto one of the paper plates.
  2. When all the bags and candles are ready, light the candles one at a time
  3. Set the plate afloat in a tub, pool, lake or river, while saying a dedication to a friend or loved one, speaking aloud words of encouragement for a cause you are committed to, or offering amnesty to an enemy.
  4. Silently watch the floating lights carry your message, wish, and energy out into the universe.


    Ceremony for integrating the 4 Freedoms: Body, Mind, Heart and Soul

    Use four candles, bags, and plates. Prepare them by following the above instructions. As you light each one, read together the statements you have prepared in advance, dedicating a light to each of the 4 Freedoms. Here are examples of what you could say for each of the 4 Freedoms:

    Body Freedom
    “With this light we invite our bodies to awaken. We choose to open our senses completely. We welcome the freedom of sensual pleasure and sexual fulfillment.”

    Mind Freedom
    “With this light we accept the responsibility to pay attention to what we think about and how we think about it. We choose to pay attention to what we do want. We choose to think about what we do want in positive and supportive ways.”

    Heart Freedom
    “With this light we pledge to open our hearts to each other, again and again each time they close. We pledge to allow ourselves to feel everything, both positive and negative feelings. We choose to act with courage to support creating what truly matters to us. We make a commitment to do our inner work to become fit for our relationship.”

    Soul Freedom
    “With this light we confirm and renew our faith that, by being of service to God and the world, we will be assisted to overcome all obstacles. We will accomplish and experience wondrous things. We will sleep secure, act with courage, and celebrate with joy as we live this wondrous life together.”


    Use five lights dedicated to the five senses (taste, smell, seeing, hearing, and touching).

    Use four lights to symbolize the compass directions and to call on their power.

    Use as many candles as the number of your anniversary or birthday, the number of your children, etc.


    If you use large candles and large paper bags, the floating lights will burn much longer and will require your attention, so that the bags won’t float away and create a hazard. It’s relatively safe to use small birthday candles, because they burn out so quickly. Do not use tea lights outdoors because their cups contaminate the environment when they sink.

    Excerpted from our new book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007

Author's Bio: 

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their websites, and their blog Ask About Love and Sex or send email: They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot's Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.

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