Sherry (not her real name) was brought to my office by her husband who had grown concerned that she wasn't herself lately. She didn't take care of the kids, she cried all the time and she wouldn't look at anyone. She didn't protest much just sat there wringing her hands and stuttering over her words especially when she was upset. It didn't take much to tell she was in a world of silent pain. He was a nice enough guy and it was very apparent that he had become increasingly concerned about her well being. He thought she might try to kill herself and he desperately wanted reassurance that she would be ok. I wasn't convinced that she would be.

As I observed her I got a vision of a wilted flower that was dying for lack of love and encouragement she was just fading away. Probably never been fully appreciated by anybody. I determined there and then no matter what her course of treatment called for she would be encouraged and helped in developing her long silenced voice. She was my first exposure to consciously dealing with a whole precious person as opposed to a client with a set of symptoms to be dealt with. To be sure she had serious symptoms and required many rigorious therapeutic interventions along the way but never was I allowed to forget that she was first and formost a beautiful diamond in the rough who needed respect, nurturing and trust if she were ever to shine. I learned so much from her. She became more than I ever thought she could be as we slowly freed her from her past and let the real woman underneath push through especially when we delved into the areas where she excelled, writing and her love for God. She absolutely came alive. I was humbled.

Since then I have seen many such wounded souls and have grown to love working with those who never knew it was ok to be themselves. To be happy. To dare to fly. To finally stop bleeding and get on with the business of life. My practice is a place to hopefully inform, enlighten, and encourage those who suffer inwardly and, of course, relationally as a result. If you see yourself here I would love to hear from you. I am a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego if you would like to know more about what I do please visit me on my website at or email me at and please feel free to phone me for a free consultation at 619 518-1323

As always I wish you the warmest of greetings and many blessings,

Cathy Roys MFT

Author's Bio: 

I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in La Mesa Ca. who specializes in Trauma, anxiety,boundary development, couples conflict, codependency especially as they relate to women.