Smokescreens

Just like the movie “The Truman Show,” I see the world like a big movie set and every person is an actor. You produce, direct, and write your own movie. During the “filming” process, you act out certain emotions because you know that people will be watching. Your verbal and emotional responses to some questions thrown to you are like scripts that you’ve mastered over and over. “Are you okay?”. Smile. Make eye contact. Say, “Of course, I am.” “Do you mind if I borrow this?” Make eye contact. Nod head. Smile then say “Sure, no problem.” “Are you happy?”, Show a ‘toothpaste’ smile then reply, “Of course! Why shouldn’t I be? I have a good job, a car and a nice house. God has given me a lot of blessings. I couldn’t ask for more.” Laugh. Then add, “ I’m happy…really!” Flip hair. Laugh louder.

Sadly, just like a movie actor, you cover your real emotions and try not to reveal what you truly feel inside. You only show what you think people should see or what the society approves of. You create your own smokescreens. Overtime, your smokescreens only rob you of your own feelings and keep you from embracing your own self. You only become someone that is “not real.”

The question is, why do you choose to be “unreal” when you could be real. There are a lot of possible answers. One, you’re afraid that if you show your real self people will not like you and this will tremendously hurt your being, your core. Two, you might hurt other people. Three, you don’t like other people to judge you. Four…. Five… and so on. No matter how many reasons you can come up, it only boils to one -–the perception of other people. How you perceive yourself greatly depends on how other people perceive you. Consequently, you create your own smokescreens so that people will perceive you better.

Just like movies, your smokescreens are there to cater to other people’s perception of what is “good” and “not good enough.” However, it is when you are all alone that you realize that the world is not like a big movie set and that you’re not an actor. It is when you’re alone in the dark and no one is looking, that you get in touched with your real self, your inner core and realize the value of your self-worth. So in the end, the basic question is not whether other people like you but whether you like your real self.