I’ll be Watching You

Time for Exercise: two minutes to one hour

Properties Required: none


Ask your lover permission to watch as she does things that might ordinarily be completely private. Some ideas of things you can ask for: undressing, dressing, any particular aspect of dressing or undressing (e.g., putting on silk stockings), going to the bathroom, masturbating, using sex toys, perineum massage, foot massage, enema, breast self-examination, practicing various forms of exercise or martial arts, meditating, and dancing. You might also observe acts of personal hygiene, for example: bathing, showering, shaving, caring for finger nails or toe nails, brushing teeth, washing hair, squeezing pimples, or applying perfumed scents and body lotions.


  1. Watch from outside through a window, pretending your partner is not aware of anyone watching.
  2. Ask permission to perform the act for your lover, for instance, wash his hair or shave her legs.
  3. The first time you watch maintain complete silence. If you repeat the exercise and watch again, add sensual, loving comments.


Don’t be surprised if your lover cannot grant all of your requests at first, but keep in mind that to experience ecstasy, where the boundaries between the two of you disappear and you merge together as one, you must be able to surrender utterly to your lover. You must become emotionally vulnerable and transparent. This exercise is a playful way to learn to surrender to each other.

Author's Bio: 

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their website www.tantra-sex.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.