Getting it - understanding how to achieve success

Success! How does that word make you feel? It might inspire you ?or even depress you because you think it is something that does not (and cannot) apply to you. Some people will associate it with tremendous wealth, others might see it as freedom from the stresses of modern day life, still others might say success is about how they connect with other people. Success is whatever you define it to be. That may sound easy, but so often we don’t even take the simple step of defining what success is in life, what our goals are. If we simply decide to “go with the flow? and not define what we want and how we are going to get it, then we should not be surprised if life becomes like a lottery ?most of the time we lose. To go somewhere positive, you need to know where you are going.

There are very many books telling you how you can achieve success in life, that you can have whatever you want, that you have unlimited power. This all may be so, but many people feel their lives are stressful and demanding enough without aiming for even more, and they feel skeptical of those who seem to promise too much. This article simply asks: are there things we can do which can immediately improve the quality of our lives and make it more likely that we will achieve what we want? I outline seven steps to success below. There is nothing magical about they way I have defined these steps; they are simply a model for getting closer to our desires. All I invite you to do is to learn from this model and then consider how you can make an even better one for yourself.

Step 1) Getting Out of Negativity.
Creating the life we want is as much about letting go of those things which hold us back as taking the necessary positive steps forward. We need to let go of envy, negative beliefs, negative talk, and negative states. When we see those who have got what we want in life, it is easy to be envious of what they have. But is this is a helpful state of mind to be in? Of course not. Wouldn’t it be better to say “This person shows what is possible in life. How can I learn from their success and how they did it??

Our beliefs filter our experiences and determine what we allow ourselves to achieve in life, but often we have never evaluated what effect our beliefs are having on our lives. For example, if I were to believe that money and spirituality were incompatible I would have a problem as I want both! So we need to write down our beliefs about life, and then ask if they are helping us achieve what we want. We can then consider what beliefs would be more resourceful for us. (Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) offers a number of ways of quickly changing beliefs). Our unconscious minds take what we say very literally and personally. So if we put ourselves and others down, we ultimately live down to our words. If you say life is “a pain in the neck? then do not be surprised if you literally do end up with a pain! We also need to tackle negative states. People sometimes think that they should not allow themselves to be happy until they achieve their goals, but actually a positive state is a key to success. Imagine how good it will be to achieve your goal and enjoy that feeling now!

Step 2) Getting Going
Write down some exciting goals. Let yourself dream first, then consider the practicalities. Make sure the goals are compatible with what you consider important in other aspects of your life. For each goal, imagine what you will see, feel and hear when you have got what you want. Make a compelling picture in your mind of you getting it. Specify a realistic timescale for your goal. Be very specific on what you want ? your unconscious mind is very literal and follows the path of least resistance. If you write “more money?then you have achieved that if you find one penny in the street. And that’s not what you wanted, is it?

The way to turn a dream into a serious goal is strategy. How will you achieve your goal? Can you find a role model who has done it before? What manageable steps will you have to take? What alternative steps can you take at each stage if things don’t go to plan that will still get you to your goal?

Once you have a strategy, focus consistently on the end goal. There may be setbacks on the way, but you will eventually get where you focus if you are flexible and adapt your approach for changing circumstances. Be warned, if you focus on failure, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

Step 3) Getting Along with Others
Very few things in life can be done entirely by ourselves. We need to be able to be able to inspire and get along with others. We need to appreciate that other people have different views of life and use that knowledge. For example, some people are motivated by what they want to avoid, others by what they want; some people internally represent their world in visual images, others predominantly experience their world in feelings. By being flexible in our communication we can work more effectively with others.

It is also helpful to realise that it does not help us to blame others for our reaction to them. This is a tough insight to grasp but which option do you prefer ?that you cannot help your feelings (and therefore being a victim), or that you can affect how you feel and respond (and therefore have power in life)? NLP contains many ways of quickly changing our feelings in any situation. Sometimes it helps to imagine seeing the world through someone else’s eyes ?to experience the power of shifting perspective.

Step 4) Getting Energy.
You can make a massive impact on your energy, and therefore your power to get what you want in life, by improving your diet and exercise. Tai Chi, Chi Kung, Yoga, and meditation are all good ways of keeping your energy in balance. We can also gain a lot of energy by dealing with those things we have been avoiding ?nothing drains energy like a necessary task we keep on putting off.

Step 5) Getting into Contribution.
Success is more enjoyable and compelling when we share it. Giving to others also creates a sense of abundance which in turn attracts more abundance. If you can’t give away money, give away possessions you no longer need, your time or your prayers.

Step 6) Getting Open.
If you do the same thing when circumstances have changed, you are really doing something different (and it may not be appropriate for the new situation). Life demands flexibility. Our business strategies, our relationship strategies, our spiritual strategies need to evolve. There are three great empowering questions we can ask ourselves: “How can I learn from what is happening?? “How can I improve what I am doing?? “How can I use this for good??

Step 7) Getting On and Enjoying It!
There is no point to success unless we enjoy it. For example, because of limiting beliefs, many people think that they have to work excessive hours to succeed, and end up too tired to enjoy life. We do have to invest time and energy to achieve our desires, but at every stage there needs to be pleasure in what we do. When you have achieved your current goals then create some new, even more inspiring ones.

This is merely an outline. There is far more from NLP and other approaches which you can use to make life more fun and have more choices and freedom. Everyone has to start somewhere, so why not start now?

Copyright Integration 2000