Uncovering Your Personal Success Footprint

Are you tired of being told what success is and isn’t, or counseled how to get it, as though it’s a publicly held commodity? Even when it’s couched in glowing New Age language (“success is fulfilling your destiny…”), success is still something to fit yourself into rather than something arising from within. It seems that unless you define success for yourself, it tends to get defined for you.

The one universal truth about success is that how it’s defined is unique and intimately personal to each one of us, as unique as a thumb or footprint. We often have to strip away the accumulation of family and societal messages to find it. One of the first things I notice in talking with people about success is their bruises, the painful places we all have where we’ve run into the hard edges of others’ definitions. Many of us don’t even want to enter the “success” conversation because of an assumption, often born of experience, that “It will lead me away from my truth.” Berta, an astutely self-reflective woman, was willing. After some probing questions of mine that took her close to what really matters to her, to those moments when she knows she’s successful, there was a painful catch of surprise in her throat. “Oh! By my own definition, I am successful! I’ve always felt slightly ashamed. I thought I should be aiming for something else.”

Does it even matter what I think success is? Yes, I believe it does. There’s the old quip, authorship unknown, “When you don’t know where you’re going, all roads will take you there.” Having a vision of your destination focuses your journey. It gives you the basis for making choices, assessing your behavior, allocating your resources. This certainly doesn’t mean that reaching your destination is the only measure of success. Nor does it mean that aiming for a destination should override the value of following the unfolding of opportunity. But striving does seem to be a defining feature of the human animal. Reaching for what matters most to you, walking in your own personal footprint of success, lends incentive, clarity and grounding to the journey.

Below are some questions that may provoke thought and help you find your own success footprint. You may find it useful to dedicate a notebook for journaling on these questions, and commit to a daily period of reflection and writing for 2 weeks. Writing things down, even when you “know them already”, makes them concrete and memorable.

What’s the definition of success that you’re living by?
How did you arrive at that definition? Who and what have been the important influences?
Has that definition remained fairly consistent throughout your adulthood? How has your definition accommodated the changes of aging and ever-expanding choices and possibilities in the world around you?

Does what you direct your best efforts toward match your success aspirations? If not, which side of the equation needs adjusting?
Example: For years D. knew that an important success criterion for herself was accumulating enough money to retire early and travel, and yet she was consistently committing funds to her on-going professional learning. She needed to reexamine whether early retirement or professional excellence took priority in her success definition.

How important are these success components to you? (rank 1-10)
Creativity
Winning recognition
Contributing value
Learning
Personal growth
Non-work-related achievements
Money

What’s the relative importance, for you, of outer and inner (or tangible and intangible) measures of success?

What is prosperity, for you?

What must money make possible, for you to feel successful?

In the best scenario, what will be written in your obituary in recognition of your success?

To translate these thoughts into action, footprints on your path to success, what steps will you take in the coming week?
What are three yes’s and three no’s that you’ll impose on your “business as usual”, to move closer to your definition of success?

Congratulations for committing focused thought and intention on behalf of your own success. Keep going…the world awaits you!

Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is principal of Success from the Inside Out (www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com), providing individual coaching and programs via telephone to build the skills, attitudes and habits for sustainable success in your career or business. To subscribe to her free monthly e-zine, mail to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach, and indicate “subscribe” in subject line.