(c) Copyright 2004 by James Middleton

I bet you can't tell me... that you have never shouted at your kids in frustration.

If this is you, then you need to learn to relax.

My friend’s wife is a classic example of this problem. She tries to cook the dinner, do the washing, and empty out the trash all at the same time.

You know the scenario, the kids are running around under your feet, and before you know it - the shouting starts ;-)

"Get out of here", "Stop bothering me", "will you just shut up for one minute" and so on.

Soon the tears start, and all little Johnny wanted to do was join in chopping the onions or washing the lettuce.

Poor old Johnny runs off to Dad for comfort, and he can't understand what he's done.

Stress affects us all.

How it shows itself varies from individual to individual.

Relaxation DOES make a difference. As little as 10 minutes every day, can stop you shouting at your children.

If you don't believe me, ask your friends who attend a yoga class each week, or who use hypnosis or relaxation tapes on a regular basis.

They do this because it works!

You don't have to learn yoga to benefit from learning to relax.

Extremely simple techniques will work just as well as Yoga or going for massage therapy.

Here's a tip;

Next time you find yourself about to scream at the kids,just stop, and ask yourself why you wanted children?

Then, count to ten, and take in a deep breath. As you breathe out, count down from 10 to one slowly and surely.

I guarantee you will feel better, and you will have interrupted the pattern which causes you to shout at the kids.

You can use this strategy at anytime you think you are about to explode.

Once you have practiced it a few times, you learn how it can become a happier, healthier habit.

This strategy only works if you USE it!

You need to practice, when you are not too wound up, if youtry and use it when you are at your boiling point - then it's too late.

So take the time to use it when you feel just a little stressed, and not at that terrible boiling point I just spoke about.

If you need to do it 20 times a day to get the hang of it,then that's fine too.

Soon you will find it turns into a natural habit. And you end up not even thinking about it.

Those deep breaths just happen on their own ;-)

So there's a tip you can use, it's simple, easy and as long as you remember to do it - before you reach boiling point -it works. Every time!

You need to remember to practice on a daily basis.

Only when it becomes a part of your neurology will it really do it's stuff.

Adopting a casual approach, and doing it just now and then won't work.

It needs to be every time to start with.

Take a little time to learn the stop and count technique,and it will pay you dividends in happier, more peaceful children.

Here's another tip.

Wear an elastic band on your wrist.

When you start to shout, or it's building inside you, just snap the band on your wrist - and say to yourself - "Everyday I really am a calmer person."

Again this is a simple pattern interrupt.

The elastic band snap starts the process, the affirmation simply helps implant a more useful helpful thought. This helpful thought will grow of it's own accord the more you use it.

Once you have done this for a week or two, and diligently applied yourself to practicing it, I guarantee you will be more calm and focused around your children.

So here's another tip.

If you have the time, you can get yourself a good relaxation tape or hypnosis CD.

Take some time two or three times each week to play the CD for 20 or 30 minutes, and just switch off.

It's well known that both relaxation and hypnosis tapes are an extremely effective way to release stress and unwind.

They have been used with great success for hundreds of thousands of people all around the world.

If you haven’t tried one yet, or you have an old dusty one ina cupboard, get it out, and promise to yourself you will play it three times this week.

Once you have done this for a week or two, you too will realize the fabulous benefits relaxation will give you.

If you prefer a more independent approach, you can also learn to meditate, it's really not so difficult.

10 or 20 minutes every other day will work wonders for stress release.

Meditation has been around for centuries, but it has been turned into something a bit mysterious and religious.

There is no mystery, and you don't need religion.

It's just a simple process that anyone can learn, and is probably one of the most effective strategies for lasting stress relief.

The other thing that makes it so effective and powerful is that it is personal and self-directed.

You are in charge, and you are in control.


So to summarize, count to 10 breathe in, count down from 10to 1 and breathe out.

Try the elastic band tip, snap yourself out of it, for a week or two.

Give a relaxation tape or hypnosis tape another go.

And if you are really serious about handling stress - learn to meditate. It has been around for centuries, and costs you nothing but a little time and effort.

It really is worth it ;-)

After all who wants to shout at their kids?

These ideas and strategies really aren't that difficult to learn, after all, I have taught self hypnosis and meditation to hundreds of students from all walks of life.

Isn't it time you learned to relax too?

Find a relaxation class, or meditation class locally, I think it really is time you found out more, don't you?

James Middleton
Hypnotherapist and Meditator

Author's Bio: 

I am a Hypnotherapist and Meditator of over 16 years experience.Certificated in Hypnotherapy. NLP Practitioner.Qualified Occupational Therapist in mental health.Ericsonian tasking specialist.Skydiving coach.Reiki Master.Stress consultant.Provocative therapy specialist.I am a licenced Hypnotherapist of over 16 years and a qualified NLP Practitioner.I see clients for stress related problems, anxiety, fears and phobias, depression, addictions and similar.