The Environment of Intimacy and Relationships

If you’re wondering what the heck environments are and why should you care, here’s some information for you.

The Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary defines environment in the following ways:

~the circumstances, objects, or conditions by which one is surrounded
~the aggregate of social and cultural conditions that influence the life of an individual or community

The idea of sharing these concepts with you is to:

1. introduce you to the idea of environments: how your environments contribute to how you experience yourself and your life AND to
2. explore different ways you can design your environments to perfectly support you and the quality of your lives.
3.to show you how by handling your environments you can evolve yourself as a person.

This seems like a perfect time to be talking about intimacy and relationships. We just celebrated Valentines Day and some of the worst financial and personal crises are happening worldwide too. Financial problems are attributed as one the biggest reason relationships fail, and with the stress and problems that are happening in our world today, the strength of our relationships are being tested.

When I first contemplated writing about this particular environment I thought the writing would be going in a different direction - but it took on a life of its own and came through me in a different way than I expected. For the purposes of this note, relationship and intimacy is focused on those in the inner circle of our lives but clearly it can extend well beyond that when we embrace wholeness as our way of being.

There are only two emotions, fear and love. When we acknowledge this, it’s easy to see which we are operating from. In relationships and the subsequent levels of intimacy that occur within them, the underlying energy that drives the outcome starts with one of these two emotions.

Life has taught me a few things about relationships and the first and foremost is that having good relationships is an inside job. If I want to have a great relationship with another I must have a great relationship with myself. If I want someone to love me unconditionally I must love myself unconditionally too! If I want deep intimacy and connection I must be connected to me and remember who I am. If I want someone to respect and care for me deeply I must respect and care for myself.

Does a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers really mean someone loves you? Are you looking outside of yourself for something that can only be found within. Our cultural coding has us looking outside for external references that we are loved, appreciated and ok. When we stop doing that all of our relationships becomes easier and more in flow. You won’t find what you’re missing outside of you!

Often in relationships one or both participants morph into what we think the other wants rather than staying true to the authentic self. We end up not recognizing ourselves or our partner. We lose who we are and wonder why we are not happy in our relationships.

Morphing can happen in any relationship and is often driven by the need for approval. Instead of creating approval and closeness, it creates separation. Morphing creates a barrier to true authenticity and transparency because the underlying motive for the morph is fear!

Without authenticity and transparency there can be no trust and without trust there can be no intimacy.

If you would like to hear a recording that gives an overview of all the environments we have identified.
Check this out: 10 Environments Recording.

If you are feeling particularly vulnerable with all that’s going on around us; let’s talk. Book your free Breakthrough Session with me today.