A central feng shui tenet is that marital or romantic happiness is an important element for a happy, well-lived life. And if you’ve had marital or romantic unhappiness, you know how true that is!

Of course, one of the keys to an effective partnership is having the relationship on a solid romantic footing. Why is this? Well, if you are in a union and have children, it demonstrates to the children your commitment to each other. It also shows the importance of your union to your kids, yourselves and everyone else.

And, don’t forget that as parents YOU are the source of the family and its well-being. If things such as jobs, kids, cars, pets, housework, bills, yard work, TV, golf, Tupperware parties, grocery shopping, shoe repairs, etc., etc., etc., comes before you and your mate, then you need to reprioritize your list to put you and your love first!

An important first step to creating a beneficial bedroom is to make sure you both agree to give your bedroom some extra attention and energy. Positive intention on both your parts goes a long way toward the desired result: more love and more romance. To get your romantic motor purring, just check the tips below. You are bound to see some ideas to help you create – or reignite – the passion in your relationship!

1. Look around. Is your bedroom a gender-neutral bedroom design that appeals to the both of you? Remember, men traditionally don’t like floral designs and if your bedroom is flowery, then your man could be experiencing resentment every time he enters the room. Likewise, if you’ve yielded to your man’s furnishing taste you, too, may also grow resentful.

What to do? Well, start from scratch, and if you can, clear out everything from the room (just like they do on those room makeovers on HGTV). Then look at the paint, drapes, carpet, etc. to see if these need changing. A good starting point is to look at the walls.

If you are considering painting, select a restful, neutral color, such as those of the color of skin, i.e., beige, taupe, brown, or rose. If possible, replace loud, flowery, or overly-austere furnishings with ones that are comfortable and make for a serene environment. And for those of you going to bed every night in those awe-inspiring white walls: did you know that the Chinese equate the color white with death? Now there’s a romance-killer! Get out the paint buckets quick!

2. The bed is where it’s at. Just like real estate, when it comes to the bed, it’s all about location, location, location. Make sure the bed is at the widest part of the room and the door to the room can be seen from the bed. This is a critical feng shui element. Bed placement is extremely important especially if the bed is placed on the same wall as the bedroom door. This will bring serious disagreements for the couple. The bed should also not face a bathroom, see a toilet, share the same wall as a toilet, or be directly opposite a door. It’s also best if the bed doesn’t face a closet or bookshelves of some kind.

Also, be sure to give yourself some support. Beds that have the headboard to a window give the couple little support. If this is the best (or only) position for the bed, place a wooden screen between the bed and the window to simulate a wall. And when it comes to your bed, it is always a good idea to have a bed that belongs only to you and your honey. Beds used in previous relationships bring those former relationships into your love life.

If this is your situation, but you hate to get rid of a perfectly good bed, then donate it to a charity. Take the write-off and then buy yourself a new bed and mattress and give it to yourselves as an anniversary present.

Remember, in your house, the bed is the No. 1 symbol of your union. Make it a nice one with luxurious pillows and comforters or spreads; it’s a good thing. And speaking of Martha (and your mother): Don’t go out without making your bed. A beautifully made bed makes you want to get in it, an unmade bed makes you want to leave the room. Now, what message does your bed send?

3. Look Up. Got a ceiling fan whirring above your bed? Lots of us do. This could be cooling you down… literally and romantically! Ceiling fans above the bed disrupt your body’s chi (energy) -- and your romantic chi. Rather than rip the fan out of the ceiling (unless you want to), try placing red dots on each fan blade. You also might avoid turning on the fan for a week and see what happens… who knows?

4. Look down. Do you have all kinds of junk under your bed? Maybe you just have dust-bunnies the size of Dallas lurking under there. Clear it out and place a crystal sphere at the foot of the bed. These are believed to enhance relationships. Or, if you have an amethyst geode, place it at the foot of the bed. These are also believed to be marriage enhancers. Get the spheres at design stores, and get geodes at nature stores or gem shops.

5. Look away… from the TV, that is. When it comes to building your romance feng shui, TV in the bedroom becomes just that: TV in the bedroom -- and nothing else. Television is a distraction to romance and it takes away from a room’s restful qualities because when it’s turned off, the TV acts like a mirror, reflecting you and your sweetie in bed. This disrupts your chi and can even cause insomnia. Still not convinced? Experts on insomnia also recommend that TV’s stay out of the bedroom because it sends a signal to the occupant(s) that this place is only for rest.

Remember, when it comes to your romantic bedroom, you should only be using it for R&R: rest and romance. Watch television in your family or living room only.
But be warned, girls, if you want to take the TV out of the bedroom that he’ll fight, he’ll cry, he’ll wail and gnash his teeth, but stand firm, and tell him you only want two things turned on in the bedroom: you and him. Now, if that’s not a convincing argument, I don’t know what is!

6. Change your sheets. But you already knew that, didn’t you? But did you also know that, just like the bed, if the sheets on the bed are brought to the marriage from a previous relationship, or worse, a divorce, that the old energy lingers here? Yuck. Used or inherited linens should also not be used on the bed. Adorn your bed only with new sheets and keep them reserved only for yourselves. Feng shui teachers say that pink sheets are the best choice because they have the “fire” from the color red. If you’ve got old sheets on the bed that are torn and tattered, what does it say about the emphasis you place on your romantic life? Treat yourself to some nice linens that feel wonderful and make you want to hop into bed!

7. Remove mirrors. Mirrors placed across from the bed or that can be seen from the bed can “divide” the couple and create insomnia. Mirrors should be kept in the bathroom or hallway and out of the bedroom. I really can’t stress this enough. Most of the time, you can use mirrors from dressers in other locations in the house. How about above the fireplace or down a long hallway? Both of these places can benefit from a mirror, so why not relegate the mirror to an area where it can be helpful instead of hurtful?

8. Decorate sparingly. Decorating the room correctly is important. Look at all the elements here to get more ideas about appropriate decorating for your romantic retreat.

Plants, water, and flowers: Take all plants, flowers, and water features out of the bedroom. The Chinese say that “rice sticks together when it is warm,” imparting the wisdom of keeping the bedroom romantic. Water and plants can drown the energy in a couple’s bedroom. Even pictures featuring water, ice, or snow are poor bedroom decorating choices. Flowers give off too much male energy, also making a poor choice for a restful bedroom. Dried flowers should be removed as they are dead energy.

Artwork and pictures: Does yours inspire passion or love? What do the items on your dresser or the art on your wall say about your love life? Hopefully, you don’t have one of those pictures of dogs playing poker. Now, if there is one place for erotic art, this is it. Tasteful nudes or statues of “The Kiss” are perfect here. (Is it me, or does this kind of art just never seem right anywhere else?) Take an extra critical look at what’s hanging above your bed. Is it inspiring? Bet you never gave your bedroom this much thought!

Consider other objects de amour in your room. Wherever possible, use pairs of objects. Two lovebirds, two vases, etc., are a good idea. Try matching prints for the bedroom or two photos of the both of you, one on each of your bedside tables. And while you’re at it, take a close look at the pictures in your bedroom. Are there photographs of your children, your grandparents, friends, or others in the bedroom? If so, these pictures are symbolically looking at you! Remove all pictures of people except for those of you and your love. Placing your wedding picture here or any other happy, romantic picture that you like. It will be a nice reminder in your shared space that the two of you are a couple.

Work, work, work: By all means, eliminate “work” objects. These can be treadmills or other exercise equipment, desks, computers, bookshelves filled with work-related books, or objects that remind either of you of something to do. Even hobbies and projects are not good choices for your love nest.

Know what else is a romance killer? Clutter. It reminds us of work. Remember, hotel rooms make us instantly relaxed when we walk in because they are spare.

9. Houston, we have a problem. Is your room in good working order? Is the carpet coming up or do the windows stick? Your room must function well on all levels. This includes making sure the door opens and closes correctly – and locks, too! Oil creaky door hinges. Privacy is important for couples. Having a lock – and using it, too – sends a strong signal that your romantic life is important, yours alone, and private. This also means making sure you have privacy measures, too. Blinds or other curtains to cover the windows should be working… and used.

10. Create your own love shrine. This is my favorite. Put a picture of the two of you, a dish with a rose quartz crystal or clear quartz crystal, a heart figurine, a candle, or a small lamp in the southwest corner of your bedroom. Dedicate this area for this purpose. Keep the lamp turned on at least 3 hours each day so that it can shine on the crystal. Place mementos in a box here, or anything that is very personal and significant to the two of you. Place a CD or tape player with music you both love here so you play it when you are alone together in the room. You can put anything here that is romantic and makes you think of love… maybe “The Kiss” statue I was mentioning earlier. Try to decide on items together, selecting the things that are meaningful for you both. I have a love shrine, and I am here to tell you that as soon as I put it together, it worked -- and continues to!

So there you have it, the 10 Tips as promised. These tips are all designed to foster a deeper, more loving and intimate relationship. Hope I haven’t given you too much to do, but just remember: this is for you and your love. Your union is important… make your room reflect the care that you feel for your relationship.

Author's Bio: 

© 2002, Kathryn Weber, www.redlotusletter.com. Reprints by permission with attribution provided.

If you like this article, then sign up for The Red Lotus Letter at http://www.redlotusletter.com and get articles like these delivered to your desktop FREE each week! The Red Lotus Letter is the Web’s biggest and best weekly feng shui e-zine. Kathryn Weber is a Certified Feng Shui Consultant in Compass School Feng Shui.