What Am I Supposed to Be Doing with My Life?

This is a question many of us ask once or maybe a thousand times. It’s also a question that can only be answered by each of us for ourselves.

This article isn’t about Barbara Sher’s Scanners, but I want to mention them first before I go on to what I want to say. If you have ever felt concerned because you tend to start projects with zeal then find you zig and zag every time a new project strikes your fancy, please look up her Website and learn about Scanners. If you’re a Scanner, there’s nothing wrong with you; you just need to understand what motivates you and how to manage and value your nature for your best interests and fulfillment.

The answer to the question in the title can be arrived at by asking three additional questions (right questions always lead to appropriate-for-you answers).

First question: What am I good at?

There are important reasons I suggest you spend time with this question. If you struggle with perfectionism, whether it’s your nature or is the nature of an influential authority figure in your life (living or passed on), more than likely, you blip right past achievements in your life, small and large, and it’s time to recognize and learn how to celebrate these. Maybe you grew up with one or more people who felt so negative about themselves they projected it onto you with critical comments. If so, it’s time you realize that was their pain speaking and had nothing to do with you or your gifts, talents, or skills (though, ultimately, it served a purpose for you). It’s time to step out of living in the past and into Now.

There’s another reason I suggest you look at this question: What you’re good at may have nothing to do with what you’re supposed to do (or want to do) in life. A personal example is years ago, I was helping someone clean and re-bandage her surgical incision. Because of my efficiency and gentle touch, the person said I could easily be in medicine. Well, no, I couldn’t. Why not? That field and I are absolutely unsuited to each other.

Recognize that you may be good at something (even exceptional at it), but you may not want to do it as a career. Many get trapped into unfulfilling jobs and/or are never promoted because of this one.

Second question: What am I passionate about?

Most of the time we’re asked what we can do or, as in the first question, what we are good at. This second one is such an important question and one many of us never ask ourselves. See if you can list five of these. If you’re not sure what this means, ask yourself what you were doing the last time you felt truly alive; and this feeling is with you each time you do whatever it is. What other times did you feel this way? What were you doing?

I’ll go straight to the point with one example about why what you’re passionate about may or may not lead you to what you’re supposed to be doing in life: Sex. I’m not a statistician, but a number of you are going to think or state that you’re passionate about sex. Now, it may be that after you answer the third question, you realize that you can provide qualified service to others as a sex therapist, Tantric teacher or counselor, etc. But for most people, feeling passionate about sex won’t lead to what their life’s work is for them.

Third question: What am I good at that I am also passionate about?

This is a question worth real consideration. Can you name three to five responses to this question? Can you see one or more common threads that weave through two or more of your responses? If a way to do this in exchange for compensation doesn’t exist, are you open to creating a way? Who, specifically, besides you, would benefit if you lived your purpose?

Did one or more fears spring up? Let’s deal with this now. How will it feel if you live your purpose? How will it feel if you don’t? Which of these feelings do you want for the rest of your life?

Allow yourself to mull the third question over in your mind and heart. Also allow that once you know the answer, it will fine-tune itself over time as you continue to learn, grow, and evolve.

Once you know the answer, you get an automatic Time Management Tweak because it’s going to be much easier to look at how much of your time is spent doing things related to your purpose and what you give your time to that will never help you hit your target, contribute to your life purpose, or let you feel what you want to feel.