As the author of an infidelity book packed with hundreds of signs of infidelity you can find on your own, I rarely recommend using a private investigator to catch a cheating spouse.

Sometimes You Really Do Need a Private Eye

However, I do think there are times when you should hire a private investigator even though there are numerous signs of infidelity you can discover for yourself. Even though my book covers practically every known sign of infidelity, certain people should never attempt to find these signs on their own. And I say this despite the fact that all the signs in my book can be found using just your own eyes and ears and your personal knowledge of your mate.

Who Should NOT Search for Signs of Infidelity on their Own

Some individuals should never attempt to search for signs of infidelity on their own. Some people consider every thing suspect. Character traits, personality quirks, or past experiences cause some people to view every little thing as a sign of infidelity, even when no infidelity exists. Rather than jumping to conclusions or falsely accusing their partner of cheating, these people would be better off hiring a private eye.

Who Should Hire an Infidelity Investigator to Catch a Cheating Spouse

The last thing you want to do is falsely accuse an innocent mate of having an extramarital affair. That could be just as damaging to your relationship as infidelity itself. So before you start searching for signs of infidelity, or slinging accusations around, you should make sure you're on solid ground. Your suspicions may turn out to be groundless if

• You are suspicious by nature
• You have a natural distrust of the opposite sex
• You have issues with jealousy
• You are emotionally insecure
• You suffer from low-self esteem
• You are paranoid
• You have an overly active imagination

If any of the seven statements above apply to you, then you should probably hire a private investigator to check out your mate, instead of trying to do it yourself. It will be impossible for you to remain objective enough to fairly evaluate the clues you find.

You should also hire a licensed private investigator if you require court admissible proof. A professional can conduct a fair and impartial investigation, and provide you with the documented proof you need.

The Cost of Hiring a Private Eye

Infidelity investigators are not cheap. Expect to spend several hundred to several thousand dollars, depending on the services you require. Average hourly rates are $100, and can go as high as $200 or more per hour. Most require a retainer up front equal to a minimum of several hours work. Check the yellow pages for a licensed investigator who specializes in spousal, matrimonial, or domestic investigations, as infidelity investigations are sometimes called. Even better - try to get a recommendation from a divorce attorney or someone you know and trust.

An Alternative to Hiring an Infidelity Investigator

If you're on a budget, or just aren't willing to spend the kind of money investigators charge, there is another alternative. Your next best bet is to invest $29 in a copy of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs. It lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. If you can remain objective enough to evaluate the telltale signs you find, why pay someone to find out something you can easily discover for yourself? You may actually fare better since the book covers signs that a private investigator is unlikely to find.

The signs of infidelity covered in Is He Cheating on You? are grouped into 21 major categories so you can easily find the signs that apply to your mate. Despite the title, most of the signs in the book apply to cheating women, as well as cheating men.

Even if you decide to hire a private eye, you should still do a little digging on your own. The more information you can give the investigator, about your cheating spouse and his or her affair, the more quickly and efficiently your investigator can work. It will keep costs to a minimum, and the lower your final bill will be.

Find Out What to Look For

For guidelines on what to look for if your spouse is cheating on you, check out the free special report entitled 21 Ways to Spot a Cheating Spouse which describes in detail, the 21 categories of infidelity signs. For your free copy, e-mail with "21 ways-sg" in the subject line.

For more information about signs of infidelity,cheating spouses or extramarital affairs, visit or the infidelity blog at

Author's Bio: 

Infidelity expert, Ruth Houston is the founder of and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs which documents practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook.

Frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, Cosmopolitan, Chatelaine, Newsday,,,, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle and numerous other print and online media worldwide.

Ruth has also been a guest on The Today Show, CNN, Fox News, ABC News, NBC News, 1010WINS, Court TV Radio, BBC, CBC and over 360 other radio and TV shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, the Caribbean, South America, Australia and New Zealand.

To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her speak to your group, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail

For more information, visit or