Why Communication is the Relationship

You have heard communication is important for relationships, romance, and love. Well, I take this a step further. Communication is the relationship. Communication connects people. You can do neither when communication is nonexistent.

How do you maintain or build a strong relationship when you fail to communicate? You cannot. Just as a bridge connects two adjacent objects together, so does our verbal and nonverbal messages connect two people because a relationship literally means the shared connection. Long distance relationships often fail because of a lack of connection, but they can work because the two persons connect and communicate with one another (either that, or their previous connection was so strong it keeps them together).

Now you know that communication is the relationship, there are many other surprising benefits in improving your communication. Most days we talk with people about shallow or logical issues. These can be discussions about what happened at work, what chores need to be done, and that stupid coworker who keeps annoying you. While intimacy can arise from talking about this, because the mere act of communication connects people, you will be more intimate when the two of you converse on topics related more strongly to your emotions.

You'll be surprised at how much you love relationships and love life when you learn to talk about things you or the other person have an emotional attachment to. You don't necessarily have to talk about passions and ambitions because you can also have an emotional attachment to problems and pain. Discussing these darker aspects with a spouse, family member, and – dare I mention – your boss will connect the two of you together when each party is open.

Humans are creatures desperately wanting to be understood. A crying toddler wants to be understood. An angry manager wants to be understood. A silent spouse wants to be understand. Though it is difficult to see people's need to be understood, when you empathetically connect with them through communication, you see that need and build a strong relationship with them.

Acknowledging the importance of communication is the first step to harnessing its power. Once you see its importance, you will start improving how you communicate. You will start searching for tips and pieces of advice. You will even start talking to people about this near magical process that is the relationship.

The last piece of advice I want to give you is to encourage you to continually learn how to communicate for a better relationship. Whether you learn from me or another expert is not as big of a concern for me as wanting you to improve that area of your life because communication forms your relationships.