A Journey into the archives of my mind.

Isn't it strange when you find an old file that you wrote years ago and do not remember writing it. I recently found this e-male to my philosophy professor when I was preparing to write my dissertation on emotion.It is almost a defining moment without my realizing it! He replied asking what drugs I was using because he wanted some!He said it would take him years to discuss the subjects, hmh that's philosophers for you!Anyway I thought I would publish it to see if any philosophers out there can tell me why?

Hi Bob,
It is 6.52 am on a Sunday and my mind is working already. I have a problem. The exploration of emotion is going beyond the dissertation. I know that the dissertation is important, but it isn’t. I know that even more important is the literature review, but it isn’t. Suddenly the dissertation has just become the catalyst. I am beginning to see and understand so much that is absolutely nothing to do with the dissertation. I am just realizing the cage that dualism has provided me. I am like the elephant that was tethered to a stake and has spent his life walking in circles.

I have been taught to follow boundaries set by my forefathers. Boundaries that do not exist, only in my mind. Suddenly even the degree has become a circle. As soon as we define the circumference we are dead.

Life is about going beyond the circle. When I said I wanted a first I was climbing into my own coffin. Now I feel that I have escaped just before the lid was put on.

Emotion is the movement of E, E in motion. E = Energy of life force. As soon as I use words to define it the understanding of it is depreciated to the point of killing the knowingness . A knowingness that is so exciting that I want to share it.

I feel that I have no-one to share it with, perhaps that is why I am sending it to you. You have to read it and hopefully have a mind that can appreciate how I am feeling. I feel as if I am walking through a morning mist to reveal a beautiful day. But there is no-one I know who can feel the beauty. What is this feeling?

Where would Plutchik place it? The moment he does it depreciates it. It stops it dead and prevents it from being a catapillar that will become a butterfly. Science depreciates everything in it’s keeness to explain. Why can’t science give me a way to share the emotion I feel that can only be tethered to words like passion, excitement joy contentment, etc.

Yet if it does it will immediately set boundaries and then the potential is lost. Emotion such as love for instance. Once we say we love someone we are placing boundaries upon the very thing that we want to be boundless.

We place an interpretation upon it which is defined by the perception of love of the person to whom we say it. It is immediately packaged by the recipient into their understanding of what love is. The fact that they set boundaries to that emotion means that they may not be experiencing this feeling that I feel. But I think that by saying it they will know how I feel. That may be an illusion.

Is emotion a feeling that should not be given labels. As soon as a label is attached the feeling becomes transfigured by the interpretation of the listener . Emotion seems to be the life force that is in each of us being caged and displayed as an animal in a zoo. Once you cage a tiger and show it to the world everyone knows what it is.

Everyone knows they should fear it. Everyone knows it is dangerous. Perhaps the tiger who is not bounded by words feels an emotion but then reacts to humans in the way that they want it to, it frightens them, because that is what they expect.

An elephant could be hugely more dangerous than a tiger but that is not expected of it. An elephant knows it has to walk in circles.

I know what I feel it feels too good to put into words, but I need to share it and let others feel it so how can I do that? Psychologists say we need to discuss our feelings. Is there not an argument for just feeling whatever we feel?

The moment we discuss it are we not interrupting a flow of energy. Energy is meant to constantly be on the move. Prevention of circulation is a clot. A clot can mean disaster unless it is diluted and allowed to flow again. Just the fact that we label an emotion are we causing it to clot?

If we did not perceive fear would it not just be a fleeting feeling? If we did not wish for happiness would it not just be ours ,then not, then ours, then not? If we did not give anger a name would it not pass more quickly? If we did not know that we should be sad when someone we love dies would we not just feel a feeling that goes and returns according to when they are on our minds. Would that feeling feel different if we did not know that we should be sad because they are dead?

Any way I have just sat down and poured out my mind for nearly an hour now. I guess you will think that I have gone over the top, it happens to all geniuses. Well it did to you didn’t it? Back to the circle.

Does a literature review have to be written in the first person? Do I refer to each book I have consulted and summarise the essence of it? It will be done for the deadline. If it is good or bad matter’s not. Nothing does anymore. I have found what I’ve been looking for but I dare not give it a title for fear of killing it. Nigel.