A Presence Practice for Multi-tasking Overachievers

Hello friends. I have been trying to write, off and on all day long, but I just couldn’t concentrate. Maybe it was the weather. We had one of those hot sunny days, interrupted by a sudden, blustery storm that dumped buckets and buckets of rain.
The rain usually clears the air, but today it left me feeling kind of unsettled.

I had pretty much resigned myself to try again tomorrow, when I finally found some quiet space. I asked myself, “What? What do I need to say right now?”

This is it:

Conscious parenting is about slowing down and living in the moment; it is about finding the grace in every experience; it is about feeling gratitude for all the mysterious gifts that make up a lifetime.

Preferably, some of these moments will occur when your children are present.

Most days, it can be a real challenge. Parenting in real life means never having enough time or enough energy to finish your to-do list.

It means constantly peeling your thoughts away from the past (“I wish I’d done that differently”) and the future (“Will he ever graduate from college? Or eighth grade??”) to enjoy what your children are doing – and who they are being – right now.

If I were your parenting coach, I would remind you that life is a process, not a destination. Your to-do list is never supposed to be empty. Your parenting is never supposed to be done.

You are here to live life. If your main goal is for it to be done, we need to have a different conversation.

And if your favorite hobby is worrying about it all (I have perhaps overindulged in this area a couple times myself), you are just plain missing the point.

I’ve said it before, probably because I need to keep reminding myself: Pay attention!

I know, easier said than done. Here is a presence practice to help you do just that.

How to be Absolutely Present, Right this Moment

Pick one thing to do. Only one. A really good choice is to prepare a family dinner to share with your spouse and children.

Invite your child or spouse to join you, if you wish. This works either way.

Now, go for it. Prepare your meal. Eat it.

Easy.

Except... there is one major caveat. You cannot do or think about anything else.

You cannot worry about summer vacation plans while chopping carrots. You cannot put a casserole in the oven and then race to move a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. You cannot talk on the phone while setting the table.

You are allowed to talk about what you are doing.

If you are preparing a meal with your child, teach them as you go, about how to prepare healthy food that tastes delicious. Unfold the story of where food comes from... who produces it and how it gets to your table. Ask their opinions and give them choices. Which vegetable goes best with hamburgers? What spices shall we use for seasoning?

If you are working alone, you might still want to talk out loud. It will help you stay present.

Go ahead, I won’t tell anyone.

“I am now cracking these eggs into my bowl. These eggs come from free-range, organic chickens. I don’t quite understand how a chicken gets to be organic, but I trust that it is a good thing.”

You are also allowed to express gratitude.

“Thank you for the farmer who made the effort to raise free-range, organic chickens. Thank you for the people who brought these eggs to my supermarket. Thank you for the lovely gentleman who bagged my groceries and told me to Have a Good Day."

"Thank you for the way these eggs are going to taste absolutely yummy, after I season them and scramble them.”

“Thank you for helping my children to accept that scrambled eggs count as dinner food, when Mommy is too tired to cook anything else.”

And finally, you are allowed to eat.

Slowly. Reverently. Mindfully.

Look at your food as you fork it up. Smell it. Close your eyes while you are chewing.

Savor the flavor.

Teach your children about mindful eating.

Relax, and enjoy the moment. Doesn’t it feel good?

Thinking of you all, and wishing you conscious moments, family dinners and apple pie.

Related Posts:

I wrote about mindful eating in, 5 Ways to Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem with Mindful Eating and Glutton’s Remorse: When You’ve Eaten Like There’s No Tomorrow.

For more tips on grounding yourself in the present moment, please see Deepak Chopra and My Washing Machine, or Happiness Now!

And just in case you want to read about apple pie, there is The Great Gluten-Free Pie Experiment, Part 2 and The Post-Thanksgiving Pie Report.

Recommended Reading:

Every family dinner is an opportunity to be present and to give thanks. I have previously recommended What the World Eats, a mesmerizing journey around the globe to see what families eat in the course of one week.

Photographed by Peter Menzel and written by Faith D’Aluisio, it will remind you of the blessings inherent in every family meal. And it just might make you a little more mindful of where you spend your food dollars next week.

Read this one with your children.