Archetypal Play: A Strategy for Getting Unstuck or Just Living a Fuller Life

In this article I am speaking to Westerners specifically – not because the information doesn’t apply to anyone else (it most likely does) but because I see how thirsty we Westerners are for something that has been within us all the time.

Humans are a richly diverse package of expressions. We cannot hope in a lifetime to plum the entire depths of possibilities within us. Yet culturally we have been inhibited and limited to about three. Women can safely be mothers, lovers and daughters. Men can be warriors, fathers, lovers and sons. And even within these socially acceptable roles, we have limits and specific expectations. A mother must be warm, nurturing and self sacrificing. Fathers can be those things, but are often expected to be remote and or restricted to financial support. (Yes, I am generalizing for the sake of this article. We all have our individual experiences.)

But what if you are at place in your life where you need gifts that are not available through these limited archetypes (universal expressions of the human experience)? Have you been in a situation where you feel totally lost or not able to meet what’s in front of you? Have you felt like you just don’t fit?

Here are some thoughts/questions that you may have had – and the associated archetype trying to come forth.

“I just want to cut everything and everyone out!” This is the frustrated Dark Mother longing to wield her compassionate sword and cut away the blocks that are preventing new abundance from coming into your life.

“Someone’s got to do something to make the world safer for our children.” This is the Amazon/Warrior wanting to take action to create and maintain safety and peace for the family/community.

“I’m tired of being everyone’s mother. These people/children expect everything to be done for them.” This is the Mother wanting to transform into the Crone, who is available for some guidance but requires her “children” to come to her and to do their own work.

“The children are all grown and gone now. I no longer have a purpose.” This is the doorway for several archetypes to be activated. Perhaps the Lover will come forth and renew your relationship. Perhaps the King/Queen wants to take those skills you’ve used for raising children into helping “rule” a community or special project. Maybe it’s the Mother/Father looking for a new form of child (a new project, craft, organization to tend to). Perhaps the Priestess/Priest wants time for spiritual connection and service.

Many of our archetypes – the Crone, Sorcerer, and Warrior even – have been demonized in our culture. The crone is often depicted as old, ugly and impotent when she is actually a powerful woman full of life experience and deep compassion. Denied she becomes a catatonic or cranky old woman in a nursing home. Activated she becomes an important resource for community sustainability. The Sorcerer/Sorceress is presented as an evil, power hungry force totally at odds with what is good, young and beautiful. Yet, when balanced and developed, this archetype brings us wisdom and perspective that can manifest great healing in our world. Warriors have become associated with mindless soldiers centered on selfish pursuit of resources and power. In balance, the Warrior/Amazon keeps peace and creates safety for the community through proactive monitoring of people and land – fighting/war is the last resort.

Some archetypal expressions have become avocations few are called to and which require lots of training and credentials. For example, to be a Priest/Priestess one has to be schooled and sanctified by an organizational authority (church). But this archetypal expression is available to each one of us. Our inner Priestess/Priest is that part of us that is connected and in communication with Spirit/God/Goddess/Buddha… We all have this ability; it just takes a bit of focus and practice to develop.

So how do we engage these aspects of ourselves?

Story is a powerful way to learn about and invite these archetypes into our lives. Ancient stories and faerie tales are a great place to start. Please be aware that modern day versions are often skewed to fit our limited cultural views. Go to the original versions please! Disney’s version of “The Little Mermaid” is a good example. Ariel gives away her voice (an essential part of who she is) to get a man and lives happily ever after. In Hans Christian Andersen’s original version, she gives away this essential part and she dies. In Disney’s version the Lover is required to eradicate essential parts of her/himself in order to have love and live happily ever after. Andersen warns that the Lover who does this cannot sustain him/herself.

The “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies are an excellent source of archetypal story. The rich characters offer us a full palette of archetypal expressions and their struggle for balance. Elizabeth Swann is required to call on many of these archetypes just to survive the first few movies!

Challenge cultural expectations. We see this happening more and more. Men are staying home to Mother the children. Women are serving as Warriors on the front line. Men are seeking to live in more balance as active Fathers. Women are becoming Queens (Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Clinton). Many of these folks are also subjected to negative criticism (strong women being called bitches) or negative consequences (men who make time to be at their kid’s events not getting promoted). Supporting these archetypes in others allows them to have expression in our own lives when needed. Let your little girls play with trucks and your little boys play with dolls. Bring your full self to love relationships.

Archetypal Play is an excellent way to try these on. Keep in mind that these archetypes are within us and only need to be activated for us to remember them. It may sound silly, but playing with a sword (even a plastic one) can invoke the Warrior or the Dark Mother. Wearing a crown (even a Dollar Store tiara) makes us walk tall and stand in our power as King/Queen.

Learning about the archetypes and then seeing where you can safely let them have some play time is a very good practice. The Dark Mother cuts away what is no longer needed so that new life can take hold. You can give her some play time when you’re gardening. Simply acknowledging you are in the role of the Dark Mother in these activities: when you give death to a weed so that your harvest can take root and prosper; when you prune your rose bush or fruit tree. This brings a certain consciousness to your gardening and gives you familiarity with the Dark Mother and her compassionate wisdom.

You should know that these archetypes will come out when you absolutely need them. However, if they have no experience and no context in our lives, they tend to come out very imbalanced. For example, the Dark Mother will come out when life is threatened in some way. When she’s had no real life experience she often annihilates everyone around her cutting them down with her sword. We saw this at Columbine and other schools where students needed to end (cut away) the injustice of peer politics. We sometimes see this in menopausal women who suddenly will not put up with their family’s demands. Yes, hormones are in play, but it’s the Dark Mother emerging to cut away what has possibly been trapping the woman for years. If the woman regularly called on the Dark Mother to shed what no longer serves, everyone might have an easier time.

I believe our cultural angst (adolescence, menopause, mid-life crises, etc.) primarily comes from two deficits: the lack of vital archetypes we are allowed and the lack of rites of passage as we move into new life stages.

For more information about working with archetypes visit playwitharchetypes.wordpress.com. As we move into this New World Age of Aquarius and it's energies of connection, harmony and unity, we'll need to call on different ways of expressing ourselves and more balanced ways of walking in the world.

Come play. Give your inner archetypes some experience. Let’s change the world as we open our lives and spirits to fuller more satisfying expressions of who we are – all of it!