Have you ever wondered how people stay so positive when they are met with adversity?

Maybe they have some special power, or were born that way, or their brains work differently, or they aren't really as optimistic as they may seem.

What I have come to realize over the years, and something I've witnessed first hand time and time again with my parents, is that being positive is a choice.

The choice is not always an easy one, that's for sure, but just the same it is yours to make or not make.

You might be thinking that's simple for me to say because I haven't been through what you have. You're right, I may not have, but I have had my share of pain, loss, fear, and trauma over the years and for a long time didn't believe there was anything I could do about it.

You would think growing up in a family of optimists that I would have come by it naturally, but let me tell you, I didn't.

There is no doubt some of the decisions I made had a direct impact on my happiness and well-being, but there were many others that I didn't have any control over taking place. Either way, it was still difficult to remain hopeful.

Being positive doesn't mean it takes away what has or is occurring. It doesn't lessen the impact emotionally at first, but it most certainly elevates your way of thinking towards the occurrence.

There are people who are happier than others and their personalities tend to lend themselves towards being that way, but when times are tough they are faced with the same choice anyone else is faced with, that is, to look and listen for the positives or, not to.

It's not easy to admit, let alone change negative ways of thinking.

It requires patience and effort on your part to re-direct your thoughts to ones that are helpful not hurtful, or ones moving you forward rather than keeping you stuck and sabotaging.

Yet, if you want to be happier, if you want to move through what is taking place the best that you can, then you have to make that choice.

There is a big difference between having a positive attitude as opposed to being positive.

You may have met people who talk the talk but who aren't actually walking the talk.

In all instances, they may seem upbeat, but you sense it isn't genuine. There is a big difference between being optimistic from a heart-felt space and from a head-filled place.

When you are "being positive", you aren't just uttering words, you actually are living and breathing them through the emotions and thoughts that are surfacing in the course of what is occurring.

You aren't denying or by-passing what's taking place. You are right there in the thick of it but you are being guided by God (whatever you believe this to be) through it.

You are asking and listening for positive direction.

You are remaining hopeful, not hopeless.

You are with your thoughts and emotions but aren't consumed by your thoughts or emotions.

You are choosing to see through what is happening rather than being blinded by it.

You are trusting and not doubtful of the outcome.

You are going with the flow rather than against it.

You are aware of your negative thoughts and listen to them, but are not led by them.

You are willing to change the thoughts that are hurtful and not helpful for you and others.

If you find yourself being negative, or unkind to yourself or another, or stuck in your emotions or the emotions of someone else, or the situation at hand seems unbearable, stop for a moment. Notice what you are thinking and seek higher ground.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven".

Take a look around you; see and/or hear what is still encouraging, good, positive, hopeful, or peaceful still surrounding you.

Remember, being positive is not the words you choose, it's the belief and action within them that can make a world of difference.

See the positive in your live and use these techniques with insist to assist you.

Author's Bio: 

Kimberley Cohen is the Founder, Facilitator and Personal Insight Coach of The Insight Technique™. She is certified in Body Mind Counseling, Process Oriented Body Work and Spiritual Psychotherapy. She founded the Insight Technique™ - Your Insight to genuine Happiness, Purpose and Prosperity to assist herself and others in uncovering and discovering their brilliance. To question and understand your thinking so you can transform what blocks and limits you from living the life you desire and deserve. Or "living your dreams".