People frequently talk about living an authentic life but I think that few know what that actually means. And there are others who truly believe that they are living authentically.

But when we take a deeper look at how we react to certain situations and the feelings that are behind them we might see that we are not as authentic as we think.

“Get real!” is a common expression that really means being honest with yourself, seeing where you say “yes” when you are really feeling, “no”, talking with someone about their negative attitude towards you instead of shoving it inside and trying to ignore the feelings of hurt and anger.

I’m not saying you should yell and scream and get your anger out on someone else, nor am I saying walk or run away from the situation.

Acknowledging your anger is authentic, recognizing your fear is authentic, letting someone know you are not feeling great and can’t discuss something at that moment in time is authentic.

Living from your peaceful, loving heart is authentic. You can feel angry and still react from your loving heart. It takes practice though.

Start off by just being aware of when you don’t feel comfortable with a person or situation. When you have some quiet time alone examine those feelings and try to discern where they are originating – usually from a strong belief about yourself or the world around you. Ask yourself if this belief still holds value for you and if you are able to be more open to other beliefs to at least examine them for a better fit.

Doing this has so many benefits. You start to be more aware of how you behave and what you say to people. You begin to feel better about yourself when you drop beliefs that are no longer valid in your life. You let go of stress you may have been carrying around and you let go of the need to control. Not to mention respecting yourself and others more and having deeper relationships with the people in your life.

Next time someone asks you to do something for them, ask them if you can get back to them later with the answer. Then sit with it for a while as you examine how you feel about doing, do you have time for it, and if you do it will you feel resentful afterwards. Usually we feel resentment when we do something with the expectation of a “return” on our investment. When it doesn’t come, the resentment begins to build. So if you are doing it to get something out of it, maybe “no” is the answer to give. But if you are doing it because you genuinely want to help someone unconditionally, then give it a “yes!”

Begin with little steps in becoming more authentic in your life and you will reap the rewards of taking the time to listen to yourself first.

With love and kindness

Author's Bio: 

Bettina Goodwin is a Certified Life Coach, Reiki Master, speaker, facilitator, writer and because life can never be too sweet, a chocolate maker.

One of her greatest joys in life is to guide her clients to the truth of who they really are and soar to heights they never thought possible before. Helping them to become more self-aware so that every moment matters and each day is full of miracles waiting to happen.