Control the Uncontrollable

For the most part, there are things that have happened in our life or will happen this week, of which we have little or no control. When stuff happens it has a way of draining our enthusiasm, optimism, belief, and faith. Certainly those who rely on the Gulf of Mexico for their livelihood have had these things challenged over the past couple of months. What if, every day, you go to work only to face a boss who you just can’t figure out? You may look at your business or your job and realize a recession that was not your fault is affecting your income or your ability to grow. You may have a health issue that suddenly developed, apparently beyond your control.

So what are you going to do this week to cultivate your belief despite the realities that swirl around that sometimes makes you feel as though you are circling the drain? And what do you believe in anyway? Of course the cliché is “just believe in yourself.” Well when it seems as though we are circling the drain, just trying to keep our head above water, it is hard to believe in anything, and certainly not our self since at that point we might actually be blaming our self!

This is when it is important to really understand my distinction between the Automatic Brain (AB) and the Mind. Our AB has evolved over hundreds of thousands of years simply to protect us from things that might blindside us. It keeps us in a state of perpetual readiness. The AB has its antennae raised 24/7 for evidence of danger from which we need to fight or flee. Since it is a primitive brain and has not changed for the past hundred thousand years or so, the fight or flight that it causes, usually leads us to further danger, from which we need to fight or flee, which leads us to further danger. You get the picture?

Anger and rage always represent an activated AB. These aggressive emotions are generated by the AB to fight a particular danger. What this fight does though, if we follow it, is to lead us to more vulnerability. Will our antipathy toward BP make us come up with solutions faster? If you “hate” your boss (the fight reflex to the vulnerability you feel from him), what does that cause you to do? Does it bring out your strengths, or does it make you judge her and try to figure out why she is the way she is? The depression you feel (the flight reflex) because of the economy, will that lead you to safety or further danger, threat, or vulnerability?

Therefore, I ask you to think about what you are going to do this week to make you really safe; to authentically protect you from any danger that might come your way. Your mind is constant, reflective, very powerful, and non-judgmental (as opposed to the AB which is erratic, reactive, fearful, and judgmental in order to scan the landscape for those who might threaten you). Your mind is where to find your strength.

Here are a few steps to start tapping into your most powerful resource:

1) Indentify two of your strengths (not things that you wish you were strong or good at or something that your mother wanted of you or something that someone else is strong at and you envy. These are all AB generated stuff. Also avoid judging your strengths (also AB stuff). They are yours so they are great for you). Very important to remember that this is not an exercise in identifying your weaknesses.

2) When you wake up every day, ask yourself 2 questions, “What am I going to do TODAY to believe in the power of my mind?” “What one thing am I going to do TODAY to utilize my strengths?” Don’t try to figure out an answer.

3) Whatever action step comes into your mind after asking yourself these questions, write it down and act on it.

4) Even if your work environment is difficult because of conflicting personalities, avoid trying to figure out why certain people do certain things or act in certain ways. Just assume they do because they are taking direction from their AB. You need not take such direction by judging them or thinking about them. Focus on doing your job to the best of your ability, consistent with your strengths.

5) If some unexpected “danger” occurs that seems to be out of your control, realize that your automatic reflex to fight or flee will take over first. Allow that to pass within a minute or two. Take slow deep breathes in through your nose and out through your mouth and affirm in your mind, “I will always find a way and a way will always find me.”

Not everything that appears to be out of our control is. For example, many of us blame certain health condition on our genetics. The fact is that only about 35% of our health and longevity comes from our genes. Therefore 75% has to do with our environment and lifestyle. The field of epigenetics is actually showing that even this 35% can be improved.

When you identify, act upon, and build on your strengths, you begin to expose the person who you really are and not just a puppet being played by your primitive AB. Taking action steps consistent with those strengths places you in a stronger and safer position to deal with the unexpected. When you commit yourself daily to doing this, your belief in yourself and your abilities intensifies. Something else also occurs—your faith deepens. This is a faith in your mind as the portal to your spirituality and indomitable personal power. Such faith is far from blind and will afford you the capacity to effectively confront the unknown, the unexpected, and that which is seemingly out of your control.