This is the third article in the series. We have decided that we are coping with a loss this holiday season and decided if we wanted to talk about it or not. Now, we are getting into the preparation of the holiday. To prepare, we can use visualization to help us get ready for the actual holiday and gatherings. Visualization is picturing in your mind what you want. You picture what you are wearing, where you are, who you are with, how you want to act at a particular gathering, etc. You can actually picture everything just the way you want it; not how you are afraid it is going to be, but how you want it to be. You can do this not only with the holiday season, but with everything. If you want to improve your position in your job, just visualize the position you want, as if you already have that position. Before I have a speaking engagement, I always visualize just how I want it to turn out. I picture what I am wearing, the audience, speaking clearly and slowly, and capturing my audience's atttention, and it going perfectly. If you do this several times daily and really believe and act as if you already have this, you can have it in reality. So, here we go...

1. Sit in a comfortable chair, or you can be laying down in bed. You want to be comfortable. Close your eyes and relax, breathing in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Feel relaxed. If you have any tension or thoughts, acknowledge them and let them go.

2. Picture where you are to be this holiday. Picture what you are wearing, who is there. Is there talking in the background? Children running around and playing? Do you smell food cooking? Any holiday candles or cookies? A fire burning. Picture everything and smell the aromas. Feel the warmth in the room.

3. Now, picture how you want the day to go. Visualize yourself how you want to be. Relaxed. Possible sad, but able to enjoy yourself. Able to talk about your loss and cry if you need or want, but also able to laugh. Whatever the situation and however you want to be, just picture it. You can change the picture anytime you want if you don't like it. This is your visualization.

4. Do this several times daily until you really feel you have it down and can do it. Especially do your visualization before and during the actual holiday, as needed. It is up to you. You can make it what you want.

This can be done for anything. Visualize what you want as if you already have it. This is a very powerful tool that can help you enjoy the holiday season, and any day. So, enjoy. You are now one step closer to dealing with the holidays. The next article will go into breathing exercises to help you relax during this holiday season.

Author's Bio: 

My name is Roberta Stack-Costantino is from Life Guidance And Solutions. I am a Life Coach, author, speaker and grief counselor. I have had many losses in my life and am an expert in coping with losses. These techniques are ones that I have used and they do work. Visit my website at My book, 'Coping With The Loss of a Sibling: I Miss You, Gary,' will be coming out in January 2011. Also, my CD, 'Coping With A Loss During The Holidays,' is now available. Call 440-759-9178 for your free consultation to help you cope this holiday season.