Developing Self Esteem during Childhood
Written by Tony Dosanjh
Self-esteem building should ideally start from childhood. Parents have a responsibility not only for their child’s physical growth but also for the proper growth in personality. The child should have positive self-image which will work as the foundation for an enhanced self-esteem in the future. This, consequently, will influence their relationships, career and performance and even personal satisfaction when they grow up. According to various studies, happy people have shown a more positive self-image.
If you are a parent and are wondering how to find out if your child has a positive self-image or not then just read the following pointers which may be helpful for you if you are worried about your role in your child’s personality development:
Avoid comparison with other children
One of the biggest mistakes that parents make is comparing their children with others. This has a very negative impact on the child’s self-image and self-esteem. The single most devastating thing a parent can do to ruin his or her child's self-esteem. Sadly, this is an avoidable part of our educational and social culture. There is always a tremendous pressure from the parents, teachers, relatives and friends whether it is in case of studies, sports or any other vocation. This affects their natural growth in personality and they are continuously pressured from everyone to perform better or meet a certain standard irrespective of their talent, capability or choice.
There is also sometimes the social need to be in a certain stereotypical group in the school or their friend circle. This is where the terms like ‘cool’, ‘nerd’, ‘popular’, ‘geek’ come in. If a child fails to be in one of the popular groups in school their self-esteem hits a low. Most adults do not understand this and take it as something that childish that every kid has to go through in school. But if your child is upset because his natural personality did not match with the group he thought he should be in, you need to have a heart to heart talk with him and make him see that these things do not really matter in the long run and how it is important it is to believe in their own strengths rather than constantly seeking acceptance from friends.
Encouragement helps in self-esteem building
Remember that it important that you encourage your child for any positive activity or thought that he wishes to indulge in. The right words can have desirable effects on the kid. Praise you child if he has done something to deserve appreciation. This will not only encourage him to try harder for improvement but will also add to his self-esteem. Lack of appreciation can be very discouraging for a child and he not have the motivation to do try the next time. Praises not only help them achieve a healthy self-image but also boosts their confidence. Of course, this does not mean that you encourage and praise your child for anything and everything they do. If they do something undesirable feel free to make your disappointment clear in a firm and clear manner. This will help them see what is right from wrong. Blind appreciation can also be harmful since it can make the child spoilt and arrogant.
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