Just about everyone has gone through a breakup at some point in their life. A breakup is a strange process. For most things in life, the more you do them the easier it becomes to do. However, with breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become any easier.
Once a breakup happens, unless the relationship was completely horrible, most people want to know how to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get back together.
(You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence to hurt you. That is definitely not a healthy relationship….in fact it is dangerous. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky indeed.)
The Normal Relationship Patte
Most relationships follow a fairly predictable pattern. When you first meet someone, everything is new and wonderful. Your lover can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in your lover’s eyes. After a short while however – the novelty begins to wear off. You adjust to each other and the relationship changes. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before may start to bother you now.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” This is true of romantic relationships. After a couple gets comfortable and familiar with each other, there will start to be disagreements - guaranteed.
This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a loving and healthy relationship. This is where many people fail. They don’t realize this is a normal process of a long term partnership and will want out before they’ve even had a chance to settle in and get past these phases.
How to Get Your Ex Back in 4 Steps
Do you believe that your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear that it is over? Then you need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.
1) Apologize For Your Actions
Saying you are sorry is one of the best ways to get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say you’re sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm and keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2) Sit Down Together and Talk Things Out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk…make an appointment if you have to. Do NOT beg, plead, cry or force your ex into this. rnIf they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.
3) Give Your Ex Some Space
This may seem counter-intuitive to
how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they want to see you right now. It is crucial to allow your partner some space.
A brief time away from each other before you try to win them back will give you both some time to cool down. It will give them a chance to miss you. If you're in touch all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4) Show Your Ex That You Care About Yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate and clingy, you are simply telling your ex you have no backbone. Your goal is to prove your independence and your confidence which are attractive qualities that your ex will respect.
If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts or whatever. Just get out and live your life.
If you're out and your cell phone rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. Call back the next day and tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them and they’ll wonder what you were doing. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again!
Eventually, you can allow your ex back into your life – but take it slow, don’t rush things. It takes time to mend a breakup, but it can be done.