Last week I had a strange phone encounter.

I was talking to a customer service representative for a company I shan’t name, due to a saga I somehow manifested involving long waits, being ported from person to person to person (none of whom was empowered to do anything about my situation) and weeks—nay, months now—without resolution.

Finally in a conversation with this one particular customer service representative I heard myself saying, “I just feel like crying right now, I am so angry!” And then, I did start crying.

It was embarrassed, because my ego really likes its persona of being in control. I pride myself on handling conflict with aplomb.

And really, while the situation was frustrating, and perhaps even worthy of a good cry, I realized, when I had some time to reflect, that I wasn’t crying over this situation.

Instead, I had to ask myself: when else have I felt out of control, disempowered and helpless?

Oooooh, OK. Now I was getting somewhere.

I recognized unprocessed emotions from something that was really important in my life (a recent decision involving one of our children). And that brought up older unprocessed emotion involving other situations in my life when I felt out of control, disempowered and helpless.

When I was able to name those feelings and hold a compassionate place for them to just be what they were, they began to dissipate.

And now, when I think about the situation that brought me to tears last week (still unresolved, by the way), I can smile and offer thanks for the healing it is bringing into my life.

Sometimes, you just have to lie down and cry.

A few months ago, I wrote this poem about making space for the difficult feelings inside of myself.

Terrible Beauty

A sky like that
ought to be enough
even for the most intransigent

Just look at it:
light-laden coral clouds
cascading across a cornflower
canvas, coaxing me to thaw
my frozen feelings
in the face of their phenomenal

And yet, I stand unmoved.

What use have I
for heartbreaking beauty?
I’m holding a heart already
a hundred times broken.
So surround me with sunsets,
beleaguer me with beauty.
Tonight the only tender
thing that I can do
is make space for one
who cannot even weep for

will be time enough
for dénouements and
healing tears.

Tonight, let the beauty be
that while the fading light
leaves me feeling lost
and lonely,
I can sit
heart to heart
with my own longing
and have no need to make it
other than it is.
copyright 2010, Kimberly V. Schneider

The most healing thing you can do when faced with challenging emotions is to stop. Notice how you’re feeling. Breathe. Find your center. Connect with your Essential Self. Know that help is yours. Let love fill you. Be peace.

When you remember who you are, you don't need to change anything outside your self. Everything you need is right here.

And here’s the really beautiful part: when you let yourself feel your feelings, when you create a compassionate space inside yourself for all of who you are, you no longer need to dump your dense energy into the Collective Unconscious, where it might result in someone uttering an angry word, or hitting a child, or picking up a gun, or dropping a bomb.

Never underestimate the power of a little self-compassion.

May the peace of self-compassion be yours, today and always,

kimberly P.S. yesterday I talked to my friend Dr. Samantha St. Julian and about Self Compassion and the 5 Spiritual Power Tools You Need for 2012 (and Beyond!) We’re planning a super cool TeleSeminar series next month to support you through times of transformational change. If you want to get the details as soon as we announce them, be sure to “like” my Manifestation page on Facebook:

Author's Bio: 

What do you get when you take a woman with the heart of a healer, the mind of a scholar, and the soul of a poet—and turn her into a trial lawyer? Existential crisis and more graduate school. Throw in a counseling degree, a marriage and two extraordinary kids, and you end up with Kimberly Schneider, The Manifestation Maven.

Kimberly has empowered thousands of people all over the planet to live more fully and consciously through her Cornucopia Method of Manifestation. She is a regular expert guest on Great Day St. Louis television show and the host of the Conscious Manifesting show on Kimberly’s column, Ask the Manifestation Maven, has appeared in The Healthy Planet and The Rising magazine, and she is a regular contributor to Wealth Magazine’s newsletter. Go to to request Kimberly's Conscious Manifestation eCourse and discover the 4 biggest obstacles to manifesting what you want.