Sometimes you find yourself working with someone and no matter how kind and compassionate you try to be, you still think they are a jerk. Maybe they yell all the time or they are condescending or a back stabber. It might be tempting to yell at them more loudly than they yelled at you or to answer them with sarcasm or to plot your revenge.

Don’t do it! You don’t want to answer jerkiness with jerkiness. Sure, it feels great – at first. You sure got them right? You really showed them. You treated them exactly like they treated you. You took that golden rule and made sure your jerk really experienced the full effect of “do unto others”. But who are you now? Now you are the jerk too!

And remember, when you act like the jerk everyone talks about it, you know why? Because you aren’t usually the jerk and so it makes the office headlines. Nobody expected you to act like a jerk, this makes for some interesting office gossip.
You want people to remember you as the person who can handle the jerks. You are the person who gets along with the difficult people. Remember, you are the adult professional, they are the jerk. In fact sometimes actually using this as a mantra (to yourself, not out loud please) can be helpful. It calms you down, helps you keep your cool and delays your response. It is always good to put some time in-between the words or actions of a jerk and your response. That way you can avoid doing or saying something that you might regret later.

If later what you regret is that you were too nice, fine. You can send me a nasty email or call me up and vent. Better to regret being too kind than to regret being too harsh.

Yell, back stabber, working with jerks, difficult people

Author's Bio: 

Margaret developed a passionate belief that it takes courage and skill to be human at work and that all individuals have a responsibility to treat each other with dignity, respect and compassion.

Motivated by her beliefs and the desire to make a difference in the lives of others, Margaret acted on her vision by founding Meloni Coaching Solutions, Inc. Her vision is to create a group of successful individuals who are at peace with their authentic selves; a group of people who help and support others; a group who bring humanity to the office and thrive because of it. Margaret sees a world where achieving peace and achieving success go hand-in-hand.

Margaret’s students and clients often find that what she really brings them is freedom to bring their authentic selves to the office. As a former Information Technology Executive, Margaret always knew her preference was for the people behind the technology. Now Margaret brings those beliefs to individuals from many professional backgrounds. The common thread across her client base is the desire to experience peace at work and the recognition that peace is not absence of conflict, peace is the ability to cope with conflict. For these people, Margaret Meloni is truly ‘A Path to Peace’. ™