Emotional Abandonment By Husband: How To Deal With Emotional Abandonment In Marriage

Respect is very important in every home. And for any marriage to succeed, the head (the husband) must be respected. Men love respect. They are not happy when people, especially women, disrespect them.

Complementing a man's role in the home is the duty of the woman who doubles as a wife and mother. Nowadays, most women contend with the issue of authority at home, even though the men are entrusted with the power to lead. God honoured them with that, and so they can do anything within their power to protect it. As great fighters, men don't give up until their aims are achieved. They are success-oriented as against the emotional and relational nature of women. Bearing in mind that abandoning their duties at the home-front can be regarded as an act of irresponsibility, so men eagerly pursue the course of maintaining their leadership positions in the home, no matter whose ox is gored.

The authority that was given to man by God as the head of the family, is what inspires him to perform his duty without looking back. At the time getting married, he always tries to get himself a woman that will respect him for who he is. The point here is that men hate women who will compete with them rather than complementing their work in the home. They are easily turned off in homes where nagging or disrespectful wives abound. As much as men love honour and respect, they don't mind putting their trust on any woman who values, respects and honours them for who they are. This is why House-helps take over the work of most wives at home. Just as we know them, house-helps are naturally trained to honour and respect those that employ them.

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House-helps are those employed in the homes for the purpose of carrying out some domestic duties. They are engaged in certain jobs like baby-sitting, house cleaning, cooking, running errands, etc. They are naturally trained to serve different people who may not be related to them. They are either paid in cash (salaries), or in kind, depending on the agreement. The ability to respect, greet people properly (sometimes bowing before them), and serving without reservation, puts them in high demand. These qualities help them to win the love and admiration of their employers. As a result of over doing things, they tend to win the hearts of their employers who, in turn, appreciate then in some other ways.

In homes where housewives chose the paths of disrespect and competition, house-helps normally take over the work of balancing issues with their husbands. This is why most husbands prefer them more than their wives. Women who leave sensitive areas in the home in the hands of house-helps are the worst hit. Assigning house-helps the duty of cooking and serving meals to their husbands can lead to unholy affairs. In homes where house-helps are allowed to hold briefs for the wives, problems always develop because husbands will be comparing them to their wives. When these husbands get accostomed to the services of house-helps at home, they tend to prefer them more than their wives.

However, in the course of discharging their duties in the home, house-helps often become more preferred because they are always down-to-earth in whatsoever they do. It should be remembered that house-helps are known to overdo things positively, even when they are not convenient. Men who quickly develop interest in women of easy virtues, always keep dates with them, no matter their level or class. When a woman truly shows love and respect to such a man, he normally reciprocates in some ways. Being relational in nature, women see every move of appreciation made by men as an opportunity to build and cement a relationship. Also being success-oriented is what makes men to see any work that has not yielded any fruit as being incomplete. Hence, they tend to stick their neck to such works in search of a positive result - the point where one thing leads to another, and whose end-result may either be good or bad.

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Every human being is created complete but he/she hardly achieves a hundred percent success in life. Both men and women have weak points which when properly understood can lead to a successful home, giving no chance to the second person, who may be low in class as the house-help. Today's women are struggling to find time in their days to swap hats among the numerous ones they already wear. The blames will always go to the women because they tend to have abandoned their glorious positions in the home, to compete with the men at the gate. This is not without negative results. These results may range from conflicting messages that attempt to define the role of women in the home as against the will of God for them. As a result, they look for where they can fit in by the world's standard, as well as their relationships with their husbands, their spirituality and the very identity that they carry as women.

It is true that there are bad men who parade themselves today as husbands the same way there are women. Most homes today are without the roles of the "husband" and the "father". As a result, the children are left to make and enforce laws, all by themselves. The Bible contains the timeless truths for every home to move beyond the present ugly situations that beset it. When we begin today to embrace and live according to God's truths, and refuse to fall for the lies of satan, we will be transformed from an unsafe, unhealthy, and unempowered people, to a safe, healthy and empowered people, where intruders like house-helps, rule no more!

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There are many aspects to take into account when considering how to improve a marriage. Sometimes it's about being open and honest about how you feel so that he's fully aware. Sometimes it's about being much more subtle, and using gestures to get your point across. Sometimes, it's even about not saying anything at all. These three simple tips will show you how you can put plans in place to start to improve your marriage:

1. Tell him openly that you care deeply about him. Say it when you mean it. Mean it when you say it. Avoid it sounding hollow because he'll pick up on it. Words are precious. When you think about something it is private. However, as soon as you voice it, it becomes public property and you can't take it back.

So be mindful of this when you're telling him you care. If you don't mean it don't say it. When you do have the urge to say it, say it with feeling, passion and gusto so that he knows that it's coming from the heart.

2. A further tip on how to improve a marriage is to not reply when he says 'I love you'. This may sound counterintuitive, but when he tells you he loves you don't necessarily say the same thing straight back to him. Again, this is about treasuring the words, and treasuring him. If you reply as soon as he tells you he loves you, it may seem as if you don't mean it, as he may feel as if you're only saying it because he has said it.

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This takes away from the depth of the words, so don't necessarily feel that you have to respond at all in that moment. Instead, smile lovingly and give him a warm, loving hug. Show you feel the same way through your body language and your eyes. Body language is a powerful way to communicate in a relationship, particularly when you're at your most intimate. We become highly sensitive in a relationship to our partner's subtle body language movements, and it becomes almost like a second language.

So don't underestimate the power of the smile and the hug when you want to communicate to him that you love him.

3. Tell him you love him when he least expects it. Sometimes we like to think that we know our partner so well we know what they're going to say and when they're going to say it. So surprise him now and again by telling him you love him at a time he doesn't expect it.

This is especially poignant when you're both under stress as these are the times we can become most distant from our partner. A soft 'I love you' can completely change the atmosphere between you. Again, show through your body language that you mean it. He'll pick up on this and appreciate you for it.

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The basis for a strong foundation in marriage is commitment. First of all, commitment is responsibility to the relationship as a whole. Commitment includes loyalty, devotion, and dedication. Many counselors and other advice givers will throw the word commitment out there and just let it dangle on its own. The fact is, it does matter what you are committed to. Did you commit to love? To that particular person? Or did you commit to the marriage itself?

Committing to love or to a person, as a foundation for your marriage, is a dangerous and shaky pursuit. Feelings change as we grow older. Feelings toward one another shift over the course of time. It is also a fact that people change. If you are committed to the 'love' part of the relationship, that is not a bad thing, however it does not need to be the only thing. If you are committed to your spouse, well, that is not a bad thing either. There has to be loyalty to the person you are married to. Just keep in mind that anything that can change on its own, people and emotions, is not a firm foundation. Sometimes, the younger you were when you married, the more difficult it will be to stay committed.

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That foundation is what you need in order to make your marriage strong and indestructible. Commitment must be made to the marriage. You stated in your vows to stick around for the duration, through anything, poverty or wealth, sickness or health. Make staying married your goal. You may not feel the same way you used to about your spouse. Those gushy love feelings have faded. The things you once thought endearing now drives you nuts. If you have committed to the whole relationship, the total life partnership, then your marriage can remain steady and strong.

You may not have thought of this or made that commitment when you first uttered those love filled vows. Maybe your marriage is in a somewhat uncertain stage. It is not too late to commit. The marriage vows are an agreement between two people, dedication to those vows first and foremost will strengthen the foundation of your marriage. When the love fades and the person you married changes into someone you may think you do not recognize, the loyalty to the vows will keep you together. (If you are in an abusive relationship, of course, you may not need to 'stay married'. Seek help immediately.)

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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What do you do when you see your marriage ending? How do you save your marriage? If you're in a marriage that is ending (or at least severely problematic) these questions are not easy to answer. The reason I am saying "it's not easy if you're in a troubled marriage" is that, if you are IN this situation, the way out (solving your problem) is never clear. You make mistake after mistake and pretty much throw your marriage out of the window, even if you wanted to save your marriage in the first place.

I know this because I was in this very situation - my marriage was ending and I had no idea of how to save a marriage. I could see that my marriage was very troubled and it was ending - and I was desperate to save it. However, in the desperation of the moment, I made a string of mistakes that pushed my husband farther away from me. When I look back today, I am thinking, "How The Hell Could I Have Done That?"

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I think you realized that I am talking as if I am not in that situation any more. That's right - I have stopped my divorce, and I have saved my marriage! But it wasn't through my own thinking. The answer to the question of how to save a marriage, as I have found - never lies within your own head. In such a situation nobody is EVER able to think and act correctly - as to fix his or her marriage and stop his or her divorce. So, hearing an outside voice tell you something RIGHT, makes wonders and I believe it is the only way to save a marriage.

My marriage was saved by the words of someone I didn't even know - an outside voice. Now that you are reading this I can tell you are on the right track because you are looking for ways to stop your divorce from an outside source - the Internet. That is exactly what I did, and that is exactly how to save a marriage!

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com