Five Ways You can Expand Your Influence

Ever wonder how some people seem to always get their own way? They seem to glide easily through life, gathering supporters and fans as they go.

Their secret?

Influence. Whether you want to make an impact on your family or on your organisation, influence is critical.

Here are five strategies you can use to increase your influence and achieve your goals more easily:

1. Be clear about your outcome. Being very specific about your ultimate outcome gives you more freedom to be open about the 'how' of getting there. You don't get stuck in process-oriented issues. Say for example your four year old is a very messy child. You would like him to be tidy. But what do you really want? Ask, do you want him to be tidy for you or for him? That's a big trap! If you want him to be tidy to keep you happy, you need to relax because there is no way he is going to respond to that kind of pressure! The more you want him to do something because it will please you, the less he will want to do it. What we resist or need, persists. irritating, I know!

What you need to focus on is your ultimate outcome. What do you really want for your child? Your ultimate outcome may be that he becomes self-reliant and responsible. Getting stuck on 'tidy' impairs the progress - notice instead where he is demonstrating independence, and celebrate that. When you're clear on what you ultimately want, it makes it easier to relax and be open to different pathways to achieve your goal. Tidiness is but one.

2. Create a culture of success of and appreciation. If you focus only on the end goal you'll miss the joy of the journey -it's a cliche, but it's true. Plus if your goal is fairly sizeable, and too far in the future, it will be difficult to maintain momentum and enthusiasm. At the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation I do a little woop woop and celebration dance with each enrolment on the TRAILblazers program. The course doesn't start for another month or so, but it has been six months of preparation. By celebrating the milestones, it keeps the energy peaking and positive. If you teach your team the same habit, you'll grow an extremely positive and dynamic team.

3. Rehearse success. This is one of the key fundamentals of deliberate creation. If you're not rehearsing success, you may be defaulting to failure, through things like worrying, wondering 'what if' and 'if only'. By deliberately talking about, writing about, and picturing your ultimate outcome you are preparing for success. You've got to feel as if it is already complete - a given. It's got to feel not 'if' it will happen, but that it is only a question of 'when'. It's a delicious and powerful feeling and practice. If you do this with your team, and with your family, your confidence will sway them away from doubt and into positive expectation. You can try this with your team or family by asking them to share what it would look like and feel like when you achieve your goal. It's as simple as that!

4. Ask better questions. The direction of your focus and energy is determined entirely by the questions you ask yourself. Unfortunately we tend to default to not so helpful questions like, 'why me?', or 'how did I get myself into this mess?' or 'why is he out to get to me?' These types of negative questions tend to bring out negative answers. Yucko!

Try some positive questions like these delicious ones:

• What would we do with a million dollars?
• What would we do with 50% more customers?
• How do we need to behave to attract more ideal clients?
• How can we give outstanding service that will surprise and delight our customers?
• What would make this place a brilliant place to work?
• What would we do if we knew we could not fail?
• How will we know we've been successful?

These kinds of questions elicit completely different responses than questions like, 'what's the risk here?', 'where did we go wrong?', 'what are we missing?' and so on. Keep your questions focused on your outcome and you will generate new energy and positive influence.

5. Be a crucible. A crucible is a container that is heat resistant that retains its shape while its contents are subject to extreme heat and are thus transformed into a new state - for example, sold metal into liquid.As a leader, you can act as a crucible for your team members. Your state of mind, attitude, and presence creates a safe place where people can undergo pressure and be transformed into something new and better. as a crucible, you guide, mentor, coach, and direct your team members through challenges, allowing their own transformation.

To be an effective crucible you need to take extremely good care of yourself so you have the patience, space, time, and energy to dedicate to your people's transformation. This is probably the most important and crucial of the roles as a leader. When you act as a catalyst and a safe place for them to grow, then your influence is sublime - your encouragement and support generates respect, gratitude, and loyalty. Together you'll accomplish much more as deep trust is forged through a crucible experience.