Going Through A Divorce? How To Stop Negative Thinking In It's Tracks

Often you lose two things in a divorce: your marriage and what feels like a piece of your identity. Marriage has a funny way of making two people seem inextricable, two sides of the same coin to use a cliché. But then somewhere in the marriage, its sanctity fell apart and you’re left wondering what happened and possibly harboring negative thoughts about your marriage, your spouse, and/or yourself. Just know this—what you’re going through is common, and you’re not alone. Whether you believe these negative thoughts have reached their apex and bear too much a burden, or they’re only now surfacing, there are actionable steps you can take. Acknowledge the Negative Thoughts and Win Half the Battle In Psychology there’s a word called rumination that means obsessively focusing your attention on experiences. With rumination it’s as though your mind is rehearsing the worst parts of your marriage, now filtered through new feelings, attitudes, and your looming divorce. What does this mean? It means you might be reinterpreting memories you once thought positive or neutral and negatively coloring them with your own inner turmoil. One effective strategy to combat rumination is just being aware that such a thing exists and to acknowledge and observe it understandingly when it occurs. Like shinning a flashlight on a menacing shadow, it disappears. In time so will the negative thoughts. Find Solace in People Who Are Also Going Through a Divorce Seek kinship through new platonic relationships. It’s true that we quickly ignore advice given to us by people we feel unqualified or lacking empathy. The solution? Find people, like yourself, who are going through a divorce. The Internet is your friend and a wonderful resource, not to be mistaken for an end in itself. Forums and message boards are great for finding a solution to a technical problem or discovering a new recipe but for something like divorce, seek out real human interaction. Let new experiences and friendships eclipse your old, negative experiences of marriage. Websites like Meetup.com provide great opportunities to meet people with similar interests and problems, in places specific to your location…Yes, Meetup.com has carved out a niche for even divorcees who wish to convene and share their stories. Find Qualified Professionals Who Can Help Navigate the Legalities of Divorce Concerning the legalities of divorce, delegate responsibility to caring professionals who’ll assert your best interests. The weight of a divorce can certainly instill apathy and torpor, and make you feel as if moving forward is painstaking. Don’t bear the brunt of this weight. Be smart and allow someone with expertise and experience to facilitate the proceedings and share the burden with you according to Valerie M Little Law Corp, Langley lawyers. Laid out for you here is a three-pronged approach: awareness, camaraderie, and professional help. These are your best opportunities to assuage the hardships that haunt you during this difficult time, thus hopefully creating some sense of calm amid calamity.