Hearts Returning Home: Reconnecting With Your Husband When All Love Seems Lost

“Why should I even bother trying anymore,” you might ask. Your marriage may be so far gone in your eyes that there’s no sense in waking the dead. Regardless of how bad you think your marriage is right now, there are always things you can do to recapture his heart. You may have to perform marital CPR in the worst case, but you’ve still got a fighting chance to make it work. How? If you apply these simple techniques I’m covering in this article to your relationship, you’ve got a great chance of getting his attention once again.

Is it easier to criticize and condemn or encourage and uplift your spouse? Human beings tend to be critical by nature. That’s why it’s so easy for us to judge our spouse, and use harsh, negative words when we’re carrying on conversations, especially with our husband, who we’re supposed to love and respect. Though a critical, nagging wife may be little more than a TV stereotype, in some marriages, this image may be a painful reality.

No one likes to be nagged, or reminded of something (all the time). How do you best respond to your husband? When he’s encouraging, uplifting and positive with his words, or the opposite? That should go for you as well. Despite your inclination to ask him to take out the trash as he promised for the 7th time this week, find things you appreciate about your husband, then tell him about it. Encouragement can go a long in conveying the respect your spouse craves in your marriage.

Many spouses that have grown apart have no idea what really matters to the other. If you don’t know what’s on your husband’s mind, try finding out. This tactic can go far in winning his heart back in your marriage. Don’t be surprised if he’s a little shocked that you still cared.

Make a special effort to listen and communicate that you’re there for him and that you want to know what’s going on in his world. If he’s suspicious of your renewed interest in him and he snaps, “what’s it to you?” breath deeply, and respond that you’re trying something new. Try using phrases like, “tell me more about that,” “that makes sense,” “it sounds like you feel that…”, and so on to keep the conversation going.

Deciding to show an interest in your husband may take the absolute last ounce of energy you’ve got. Even letting him know you respect him by ceasing and desisting from your criticism – though more of a challenge – is still doable.

Don’t be shocked at this next tactic for reconnecting with your husband. I’m talking about sex. If you two are no longer that close in the intimacy department, this may be a challenge, however. Here’s a little bit of insight. Men often feel loved through sex, while women have sex to feel loved. When you say yes to the bedroom, you’re really saying yes to your relationship. You’re communicating that you love him in the simplest manner possible.

Why not stay the course in your marriage, even if you no longer feel like it? It’s certainly worth trying, in order to bring your hearts back together, and reconstruct that happy home you once had.

Try: saying yes to sex every once and a while; stop nagging and criticizing him and instead, encourage; and convey you’re interested in your husband and what he cares about. If you take the chance to make your marriage work, you could end up with a relationship that surpasses your expectations in more ways than one.