There are many situations & circumstances that give rise to pressure. You could face pressure from work (the zeal to succeed , meet targets, get that promotion, impress that boss), it could be within the family (wanting to be a good father/mother, be a provider, take care of your children, make sure they measure up with their peers etc), pressure from within ourselves( the die hard mentality, being successful *please note, nothing is wrong in aspiring to be successful, but success has it's measures and it comes in phases, wanting to impress our partners/spouses, fear of failing, fear of losing things that matter to us, experiencing change etc), whatever causes a shift in your mental stability & pushes you to a form of unrest /discomfort constitutes pressure.

So how do we deal with it?

My suggestions are as follows:

First of all LEARN TO PLAN. Never be taken aback by surprises. Change is constant in life & we must be prepared to deal with it, as it comes. It may set us back a bit but we have to make sure we move forward. Learn to have alternatives, make sure every area is covered & thought about to the best of your ability. It’s always good to have a back up plan just incase things go wrong. It’s not being pessimistic/ negative, it’s getting prepared & making sure you have a solution to whatever unplanned situation springs up.

We shouldn’t underestimate the effects of proper planning. It is very effective when your goals are combined with it. You might say, I see no sense in how planning affects my current situation, I just lost my job, the debt collection agencies are after me, my partner/spouse just left me, I don’t have friends etc what do I plan for ?

The answer is ‘A LOT’. You have alternative plans to make sure the reasons why you fell into debt, lost your job/spouse don’t happen again. You take the necessary steps or precautions to avoid that.

If you intend to start seeing someone after a breakup you need to plan to meet the right people, the right friends, wear the appropriate make up & dress up for dates.
With regards to jobs, keep searching and applying, get more training/education to develop your personal skills, plan to have a budget to deal with your spending habits etc. It centers all on our PLANS.

Apart from planning, one basic character needed in dealing with pressures, is remaining calm in the midst of pressure. Don’t be hard on yourself. Being calm is a state of mind. It is being patient through the storms & pressure. It’s handling the situation with confidence & assurance that a solution definitely exists to whatever circumstances arise.

Pressures throw us off balance & bring us to a point of confusion where we are not sure of what steps to take, what to do, how to live, what the next line of action is. Don’t drive yourself to the extreme. Stop complaining, being fussy or pushing yourself beyond limits to see things work out. They will, it’s only a function of time.

Pressures require clarity of thinking & this can’t be achieved with you being hard on yourself. Many times we seem caught up in work, circumstances, the economy, our personal achievements and failures, people and situations surrounding us that we don’t learn to APPRECIATE OURSELVES & REMAIN CALM.

We need to cultivate the habit seeing a lot of good in ourselves no matter the state we are in. There is usually a lot of good in us but it is often overshadowed by problems we face and being hard on ourselves. If you think deeply, you will see positive sides to life. You need to learn to take things one step at a time. Crawl before you walk, walk before you run and run before you fly. Don’t be in a rush, because frustration could set in and it leads to depression.

On a final note love yourself, take time to enjoy outings with friends and family, rest well, occasionally spoil yourself, and see a bright future ahead of you.

What makes you lose your sleep/calmness/composure? Write it down and work towards becoming a better person.

Are you drowning under pressure?

Your comments will be appreciated.

To be continued...

Author's Bio: 

Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive™ Life Coach and Counsellor. He is a member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council, an accredited professional counsellor with the Counselling Society and the author of Expanding Your Horizons. If you would like to enquire about personal and professional one-to-one coaching sessions,please visit or send an email to

Remember, it's about creating a purpose driven life through personal development.