Helping A Spouse With Depression: Support For Partners Of Depression Sufferers

Depression causes a person to suffer a nightmare even when he is awake. Not only do they suffer tremendously but everyone around them also suffer and as a result of this a myriad marriage problems develop.

The good news is that it is controllable. With the proper therapy, and medicine - when needed, people who suffer from depressive disorders can life normal fulfilling lives.

The bad news, though, is that it takes time. It is a process. Even after the sufferer admits that he is depressed (which is a huge step towards recovery) and begins to think how to get overcome it there is still a long way to go.

The next stage, according to Dr. James Prochaska is called the "preparation stage". In this stage they, as the name implies, prepare to take steps to conquer their disorder. You, the spouse or loved one of the sufferer, have to be patient and understand that there is a long way between realizing and wanting to change and actually changing.

In this article I point out some of preliminary steps that must be taken care of and how you should help.

After a person decides to get help for his depression (and fix up his life and his marriage problems) there are three basic things that must be done.

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He has to find a therapist, support group or some self- help books (as a start). He WILL NOT overcome depression just because he wants to overcome it.

If he feels that he needs professional help then he has to find out if insurance will cover it or if he has the funds to pay for this help.

He has to find a way to fit it into his schedule (if he still has one) and he has to have a way to get there.

What is your job when your loved one is at this stage.

Firstly, make sure that it is feasible for him to get help. For instance, YOU have to make sure that there is some way to get the money for the therapist or to look for some other way to get help. You might not tell him that you did this research but you have to make sure that the finances are in place. It is a disaster if he did all of the work to get here to find out that there is no therapist in your area with expertise in depression or that you don't have the resources to get help.

Give subtle compliments and commend him on the fact that he got to where he got to even thought that it was so hard.

Talk about how good it will be after he gets the help that he needs and how things will go back to the way that they were before he started to suffer from this disorder. Be careful though that this won't make him scared to continue.

Be prepared for some obstacles that will be there (and there will be lots of them) and think of alternative plans to help your spouse. Remember, they are just preparing to take action to overcome their depression. They are, however, still depressed, which means not fully functional.

Don't push for big steps. Help them to take little steps but keep on prodding them on, with subtle compliments and reward systems (Do you know what, honey? Call the bank to see how much is in our saving's account and to celebrate we'll.....! How does that sound?)

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You need more than a marriage certificate and good intentions to have a successful marriage. Commercial television programming and advertising would have you believe that finding a husband or wife is the difficult part of marriage; but, with over half of all marriages ending in divorce, it seems much easier to get married than it is to stay married. But there are things you can learn that will help you make your marriage a success.

There's no reason the honeymoon has to end. Of course, there are several reasons honeymoons end; but they really don't have to. Imagine if you loved the rain, snow, sleet, sun, heat, and cold; you'd never be able to blame the weather for your bad moods or ruined days. Likewise, if you want a successful relationship, you must learn to appreciate all parts of your relationship; and that goes for both partners. You can't simply blame others for "bumps" in your experience - to be successful, you have to learn and grow from them. Relationships require skills that must be learned and practiced; and there are three essential ingredients that any relationship needs to succeed - or even survive.

Essentially, you need 3-things in order to build a successful marriage:

1. Incentive

2. A willing partner

3. A little L.U.C.K. (Love; Understanding; Compassion; & Kindness)

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

People need some incentive to take marriage seriously enough to make it work. We all need a reason to do anything we do - even if we don't know what the reason is. A reason is simply a thought - conscious or unconscious - that starts the chain-of-events that ultimately leads to action and experience. Our reasons usually include making something better or different than they currently are. To do something requiring great effort, we need an incentive. In other words, there's got to be "something in it for me" in order for me to put energy into "it." To make a marriage work requires incentive; and to put work into a marriage requires incentive, as well. A powerful incentive for working on your marriage is the realization that all marriages end in divorce or death; the quality of life between now and then depends on your input.

A willing partner is another absolute must-have if you want a successful marriage. Most people get married for the wrong reasons; and most people don't know what to do with a spouse once they catch one. They say, "The family that prays together stays together;" and, if you understand the nature of prayer - thinking - you understand that, if you don't have a common vision, goal, or destination, then you're moving in different directions and heading to two different places.

A little luck never hurt anyone; in fact, Love, Understanding, Compassion, and Kindness (LUCK), are absolutely essential to a successful marriage. Without understanding, people often go through life with no more awareness of other people's needs and desires than they had as a child. If you want a happy marriage, you need a happy partner; and the best way to make a partner happy is to be kind, considerate, and loving. Also, compassion goes a long way toward building trust and intimacy. Consider these ingredients carefully; and, with a little LUCK, maybe you'll create a relationship worth being in.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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If you think you are in an ending marriage and you want to save your marriage; today I have one good and one bad news for you. The good news is that the fate of your marriage is entirely in your hands - you can stop your divorce if you do the right things. The bad news is the same: The fate of your marriage is entirely in your hands, and if you do the wrong things, you won't be able to avoid a divorce.

Then, you need to know the right things and the wrong things to save your marriage. Enter Juliette Christian! I know the rights and the wrongs, because I have done both. And I would like to pass my experiences upon you, because I know how hard your situation feels.

The first thing you have to know is that the wrong thing is to look for a magic fix that will magically repair all the damages your marriage took and fix everything. It is an entirely normal psychological reaction, but it doesn't help you a bit. Your marriage's problems didn't appear overnight, and they won't disappear overnight.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

The right thing to do to save your marriage is to shed that knee-jerk reaction state of mind. Rest assured that you CAN save your marriage, as I did mine; but to do so, you have to get out of that reaction mindset, and enter a more calm and relaxed mindset that I like to call the "marriage saving mindset" for good reason.

What saves marriages is getting rid of that "I must do something at once to save my marriage!" mindset and calming down. It will allow you some very precious time and ability to process the issues of your marriage. It will make you able to look at your problems from a wider angle and will allow you to see much more.

So, to save your marriage; the first thing you have to do is to cease to look for a "quick fix" and calm down to look at things from a wider perspective. This will not only save your marriage, but will make you really understand the problems and will ensure that you won't have those issues again.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

For decades and decades marriage counseling has been viewed as an effective way for couples to resolve problems and have happier and more long lasting relationships. For many couples this has proven to be true. For millions of others though, marriage counseling has been a failure and most of these couples have gone on to divorce. If you have already tried marriage counseling and your marriage is still troubled, then this may be the most important article you ever read. You can save your marriage by using an approach that has proven to be more successful than traditional marriage counseling.

I know this works because it is the same plan I used to save my marriage and many other couples have used it as well. Here are the basics:

- Commit yourself 100% to saving your marriage regardless of what your spouse is doing

- Don't get caught up in blaming yourself or your spouse for whatever is wrong in the marriage

- Get out of any negative emotional state you are in and put yourself in a calm, confident and resourceful state.

- Avoid the common mistakes that most people make when facing a divorce. These mistakes will kill any chance you have of saving your marriage!

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

- Take the focus off of you and your spouse and put the focus directly on the marriage

- Be willing to follow a step by step plan even when it feels like the complete opposite of what you should be doing!

The fact of the matter is that there are certain things that you can do and say and certain ways that you can behave which will begin to change the dynamics in the relationship. Amazingly enough, this even works when you are the only one trying to save the marriage! It works when everything else has failed. It is nothing like the traditional marriage counseling model where the focus is always on each of you as individuals and developing better communication skills. While this model is fine for individuals, it is of little use in saving troubled marriages.

The most important point I want to make is that time is not on your side right now! The longer you wait...hoping things will get better, or even worse, making the common critical mistakes people make, the less you chances are of saving your marriage. That's what nearly happened to me in my own marriage. I kept hoping things would work themselves out. They didn't until I took action.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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