How To Avoid Getting A Divorce: How To Avoid Divorce In Marriage

Divorce - Poison

After 25 years of married life, and observing of many marriages, partings, and divorces, I have decided to share some of my findings of how to avoid a divorce. These proposals might aid you to reach the point where you want to save your marriage with your existing partner, or they will help you in your next marriage. A Marriage is a sacred thing, it is a blessing of God which saves human beings from a lot of sins, troubles, dangers, and diseases. Marriage is the correct and safe way to fulfill natural sexual desires. An unmarried life is an incomplete life. A house without kids is an empty house. Momentary sex with a person of opposite sex will give only a momentary satisfaction, which soon converts into depression and frustration, whereas married faithful couples enjoy safe and satisfying sex for years. A married couple lives more than an unmarried couple or individual. Unmarried couples who live together, don't trust each other fully, they feel unsecured, uncertain of their relationship, they leave each other more frequently and sooner than the married couples. The following are some points to ponder:

Sort time to attach adoringly to your spouse daily

A couple can meaningfully increase the probabilities of matrimonial success by dedicating a minimum of 20 minutes a day entirely to each other. For example, you could get up a little before, and use the spare time in bed hugging, kissing, and restating your love for each other. Spend time every day to have significant talks with each other, to listen with the same concentration as when you were dating, to be in contact with, cuddle, and show affection, to convey each other how you think about your marriage and to dialog about your aims for the marital lives. Praise your partner frequently-both in isolated and before others. Even if your mate appears nervous or signs it off at first, the radiance from genuine admiration persists a long time.

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Love your partner the way he/she wishes to be loved

We usually think that the effects that we like very much will touch our spouse equally. For example, you may consider Gold jewelry is the best gift, but to your partner, it may signify a waste of money. If you don't identify, learn what your spouse longs for, and then bring it with love-and no remarks about how "senseless" it is to want a mobile tool, a candle lunch in the living room or a chicken sandwich. Remember the finest gift is somewhat your partner wishes-not just something you desire him/her to take.

Pay attention to your look

Appear your finest for your partner. Don't wear the clothes your spouse dislikes so much, wear the dress which your partner likes very much. This also means to take care of your fitness-as well as eating correctly and working out frequently.

Stay loyal

A high percentage of divorces are the result of unfaithfulness. Marriage is a long-term obligation to a person. The couples who are faithful and truthful to each other an enormous 90 percent of them are happily married even after 50 years.

Sort out things composed

An additional important factor of longstanding happy marriages is that the spouses often see things together that they determine exciting and enjoyable. Whether that's dancing, jogging, playing video games, swimming, or driving, contribute in no less than one activity that you together like every week. If you have children, many of these activities are for you and your spouse only.

Pass yours time separately

You take a cooking course whereas your partner does running, you play cards and your partner watch movies. You don't have to like everything your partner likes, but you do have to permit your spouse the liberty to follow valued interests. An extra advantage is that separate comforts can create interest between you.

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Be friends with your spouse

The key to spousal pleasure and success is alliance. Some of the most vital features of this bond are knowing each other warmly, proving warmth and esteem for each other on a regular base, and frankly adoring each other's company.

The Footings of Compliment

Floras, chocolates, valentines, and gifts are all superb gestures of adoration, but you need to do certain marriage-saving steps. Couples should discuss the fundamentals of their affiliation in a yearly agreement-or at least to illuminate them. Majority quarrels that break up marriages are over sexual role and money, don't let disbeliefs result in distress. Marriage is like any other bond: its positions and circumstances must be revised and modernized.

Say "I love you" daily

This is particularly essential when you're not sensing the impression of love at these times, you have to keenly create it. Saying those magic words, and carrying out heartfelt signs, will warm both your and your partner's souls.

Think about your Kids

Kids play a major role in saving a marriage, the couples with kids are more responsible and compromising than the couples without kids. Raising Kids is a wonderful experience and it is a basic instinct in all the living things. When you have kids, feelings of love, patience, sacrificing, to do something for others develop in your heart. Parents think about the future of their kids, the separation or divorce create such a gap in the psychology of kids which can never be fulfilled. A kid needs both the love of a mother and the protection and guidance of a father. Kids with a single parent can never get the love, attention, and protection which is his/her right. When a dispute occurs, please think that a divorce will destroy the lives of your kids. The incidents of sexual harassment of kids by their stepfathers are not uncommon. Similarly, stepmothers can never treat kids with the same love and care with which they treat their own kids. Before giving divorce to your spouse be sure that you are doing badly to your kids by taking their mother or father away from them. The kids who have been raised by a single parent can never be good parents themselves. Because the emptiness of their life remains with them throughout their life.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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In order to help save marriage it is important to understand the power of unconditional love and the comfort and security it brings. What is unconditional love, when does it begin and how can you develop it with your spouse?

Relationships begin with excitement and openness that allows for two people to come together in romance and passion. Depending on how long the courtship goes on before marriage the couple may find themselves in a very different type of loving relationship.

While the initial excitement wears off the best marriages settle in to a more nurturing and understanding relationship. Early on in a relationship each partner can do no wrong in the eyes of the other. Mutual acceptance is granted through the cloudy vision of passion and excitement. Beyond those early days it will at some point require a decision to love not just an emotional response. It is this decision that will help save marriage.

Loving at this level will develop trust and understanding if handled properly. Truly sharing unconditional love with a partner does not require either one of you to condone bad behavior and it isn't a free ticket to do as you please. Unconditional love demonstrates itself through each others actions.

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Individuals experiencing this more mature love seek to understand each other and truly work towards solutions that are the best for each other and place the marriage in the highest regard. Mistakes will certainly be made along the way but when they occur, apologies are given and forgiveness is granted. Each individual recognizes that although a mistake has been made, their partner still seeks the best for the marriage. Forgiveness is a key element to help save marriage.

Communication is simplified in a marriage demonstrating the power of unconditional love. With unconditional love each individual feels free to express their needs and desires knowing they will not be judged. The partner will graciously listen to the request and seek to find a positive outcome for the marriage first and foremost and will do so respectfully.

Respectful communication allows the relationship to grow and evolve without the Resistance created in a relationship where individual needs come before the needs of the marriage. Harness the power of unconditional love and discover how to help save marriage.

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Marriage is not just taking some marriage vows and putting your signature on the marriage certificate. Marriage is a work in progress. You must work diligently and allow it to unfold and blossom. Constantly look out for signs of marriage breakdown and take preventive measures so that they never break your marriage apart.

1. Finances

It's easy to let finances get the best of you, especially when you are facing with financial crisis. One of the signs of marriage breakdown is when your partner earns more than you and yet not willing to help out financially but rather keep the money or spend lavishly on themselves. This is easy to let resentment creep in and destroy your relationship. Couples who are honest in all financial dealings, share the wealth and resolve financial crisis together are more likely to survive the financial crisis.

2. Communication

Have you heard the song,"If you could read my mind love" and indeed if you only could. Sadly, you can't. If you wish your spouse to know how you're feeling about something, you must tell them. Don't expect them to know or read your mind. It's just not possible. Talk to one another and avoid miscommunication by asking questions until you completely understand what it is you're discussing.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

3. Commitment

Many couples are not keeping to those wedding vows, "Till death do us part". The problem is that sometimes little things creep in and it's easy to lose sight of that commitment. A commitment is an agreement that you'll be there when the going gets tough. Hence, work it out and do not give up so easily. If you're not committed to the relationship, it's not going to work.

4. Negotiation

The art of negotiation has saved many relationships. Marriage is a negotiation and one must learn to give and take. Couples need to make sure that the give and take is fairly balance. If you are giving more than taking, then it's time to learn the art of negotiation e.g. "I'll take out the trash if you wash the dishes". After all, sharing is caring. Therefore always negotiate to a better marriage.

5. Emotional Connection

This is one of the crucial signs of marriage breakdown that most couples tend to take it too lightly. Emotional connection is as important as physical connection. This feeling will ebb for many couples over time. If you are not feeling emotionally connected, then it's time to find ways to reconnect with your partner emotionally to avoid marriage breakdown in the long run.

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If emotional intimacy is going to be a huge part of your intimate relationship then you have to honor yourself. In fact let us back up here a bit. If your relationship is lacking in emotional intimacy, then you are going to experience a lack that will just end up creating more problems.

Honoring yourself means just that. It means not taking yourself for granted, not allowing yourself to be taken for granted, doing the things that reaffirm who you are at your core and honoring your own truth.

In very practical terms, do only that which is in concert with how you want to perceive yourself. Of course that perception has to be a positive one an d has to be based on reality.

Emotional intimacy is not only about the relationship you share with another or your partner. It is probably first and foremost about that relationship that you have with yourself.

You cannot be hypocritical in your behavior in the relationship and hope to have a high degree of emotional intimacy.

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Hypocrisy means violating a part of you. Once that happens you can chose to do either of two things - not share that part with your partner, or attempt to, knowing fully well it is not wholesome. And since you know this, it is bound to affect how you experience that sharing, and hence the level of intimacy that ensues is also affected negatively.

Honoring yourself also means honoring the truth that is in you. That truth does not have to be perfect, but even if it is not, once fully accepted it becomes an ally instead of a threat.

For example, you may have a really bad habit that threatens another aspect of your relationship. In order for you to deal with it, you cannot pretend it is not there because your ego wants it that way. That is dishonoring yourself because now you compromise your capacity to accept the truth.

If you cannot accept the truth then guess what? Of course what you cannot accept you are going to have to wrestle with, not in a manner to resolve the issue but in a manner to constantly let it aggravate you.

Do you know why this is so? Because the fact that you have chosen to not accept it as a part of you, pretending otherwise means you think it has more power over you than you have over it.

This is why it is so important to your emotional state that you honor the truth about you which in essence is honoring yourself.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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