How To Decide If You Should Reconcile With Your Husband: Exercises For Marriage Reconciliation

Marriage is not easy; this is why a lot of them will fail. It takes work to have a successful marriage, and a lot of people are not willing to put in that work. If your marriage is not going the way that you hoped, you are going to have to decide if it is worth saving; this is not an easy decision to make.

The first thing that you are going to want to think about when you are deciding whether or not it is worth trying to save your marriage is the kids. Divorce is a much bigger deal if there are children involved, so you are going to have to think about how it will affect them. It is important to keep in mind that staying in a bad marriage will also have a negative impact on the children. You need to decide what is best for them and go from there.

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The next thing to consider is how stressful divorce would be and how it would affect you financially. While it may not be the most romantic thing in the world to stay married because it is easier than getting a divorce the reality is that in a lot of cases it is. If your needs are being met, both the financial one and the emotional ones it may well be better to just stick out. Clearly you will need to work on the marriage but that is often a better option then dealing with a divorce.

One of the most important things that you are going to have to think about when you are deciding if you should stay in your marriage is why you are unhappy. You are going to want to think about what it was that you were expecting when you got married and how your marriage has turned out differently. You also need to be honest with yourself about just how realistic your expectations were. If you went into the marriage with unrealistic expectations of what it would be like then it is no wonder you are not satisfied. You may have to temper your expectations with the reality of being married.

In many cases you will find that you can benefit from outside help when trying to decide if it is worth saving your marriage. Talking to a counselor can be a good way to do this. He will be able to help you take stock of your marriage so that you can decide how to proceed.

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Even under massive stress, there IS help for troubled marriage. Whether you are trying to deal with in-law problems, money issues, addictions, issues with your children, or any other problems, you CAN save your marriage.

Think back to when your marriage was good. Now think about what led up to the problem(s) you are facing now. Is there something that stands out, that maybe could've been avoided, if you just knew how?

When you can drill down a problem, and pinpoint a certain issue, you will be better able to get help for troubled marriage. Even if you can't find one certain problem, you can still save your marriage.

If you are dealing with an addiction, the first step MUST be for the person who has the addiction to seek help. Addictions aren't going to just go away. Don't blame the person with the addiction for anything - treat it more like a disease that needs a doctor to treat. When it comes down to it, that's what an addiction is - a TREATABLE condition.

If you or your spouse has cheated, either in person or online, it is still cheating. The sacred bond of trust has been broken. A lot of marriages go through this. In the end, these marriages become even stronger.

When couples are looking for help for troubled marriage, the first thought is usually marriage counseling. Marriage counseling may help some couples, but the majority of couples won't go. Both spouses have to be willing to go, and to open up completely and talk about everything. In a lot of cases, this just isn't going to happen.

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So, what other kind of help for troubled marriage is there?

There are tons of ways to help your marriage. When you know the problem that has to be fixed, it is much easier. If you don't know, please don't assume. Talk to your spouse about it.

Ask them what he or she thinks is wrong, and what they think the two of you can do to fix it. You may be surprised to find that what you think is different than what they think, and your ways of fixing things may be different, too.

All stable marriages have these things in common: a strong bond of trust, a true commitment to each other, and a way of communicating with each other that both spouses are comfortable with. This last one may sound weird, but it's not.

Some people just can't come out and say what they really feel. They find other ways of communicating. Some people have a hard time telling their spouse that they love them, even though they really do. A way for them to communicate this feeling to their spouse, without saying it, can be to surprise their spouse with a card, or doing something for them without being asked.

When you look for help for troubled marriage, take a step back and try to look at your marriage through someone else's eyes. A different point of view can make you see something that you haven't yet seen. you may think something is wrong, while your spouse thinks that nothing is wrong, and they can't figure out why you're acting differently.

Stay strong - the two of you love each other. You were made for each other. Just because your marriage isn't picture perfect right now doesn't mean it has to break apart. Even seriously damaged marriage CAN be helped. Sometimes couples just need a little push in the right direction.

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Recently my wife gave a lecture for a group of ladies in our church. Now this was the title of her talk- "How to Love Your Husband". Before she wrote up her notes she did something important. She did a little research. She asked some of her friends to ask their husbands this question. "What makes you feel loved?"

Each man gave his wife a little different list. But her research drove home the point. Every person is different. We may have different ideas about what it means to be loved. But this is the danger. Most married couples assume what makes us feel loved is exactly the same thing that will make our spouse feel loved. But this may not always be true.

The wise person stops and raises this question to their spouse. "What makes you feel loved?" Perhaps like my wife your wife likes surprises. It does not have to be expensive. In fact, my wife and I do not have a lot of money. But a surprise cup of coffee from Starbucks, a candy bar, or single rose can speak volumes of love to my wife.

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Now this is how my wife sometimes shows love to me. I love brass band music. Before I received my call to the ministry I was on my way to becoming a professional musician. Today I do not play much. But I still love to listen. Last summer my wife gladly traveled with me to Maine (an hour drive) to listen to the Salvation Army New York Staff Band.

My wife is an artist. She also knows that I am more than willing to go to art galleries with her. When we go to the beach in the summer we often stop to look in the galleries at Rockport, Ma. I enjoy watching her study each painting. And finally we both look together at the tag to discover the cost of the art work.

Let me give you this homework assignment. Find a quite place to talk to your spouse. (Not a noisy place with children) Then raise this question to your spouse. "What makes you feel loved?" The question might surprise your spouse. But the answer will give you valuable insight on how you can make a difference in your marriage.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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What men want in a woman is someone who is aware about what they are thinking about. Again, I am making generalizations, but in general, women do tend to get carried away thinking about things that either makes them paranoid, insecure, scared or unsure of themselves or their husbands. This can all eventuate from the slightest passing comment from the man or from nothing at all. If you think about what you're thinking about, you can avert a potential emotional meltdown, which your man will be thankful for. Here are three ways to get used to thinking about thinking.

1. Pretend to be a fly on the wall

Ever hear the saying, "to be a fly on the wall?" Well, you can be, right now. You're reading this article, right now. Pick a point in the room that you're sitting in right now and pretend that you're a fly standing on the wall looking at you reading this article.

Try to see everything. See your eyes moving left to right. See your head moving slightly to the side, see yourself looking around. By seeing all this, you get used being more self-aware.

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2. Your cravings/addictions

One of the easiest ways to practice thinking about thinking is to do it when you're not feeling emotional or upset. Do this when you're passing by a bakery and the beautiful smell of fresh bread wafts out.

You feel yourself being pulled inside, but if you can take that feeling "isolate" it from the rest of yourself, you actually begin to realize that it's something you can control.

3. The real thing

This is where it gets hard. If you can actually do what you do for a bakery but for a real life emotional situation instead, you know that you're getting good at thinking about what you're thinking about.

Feel the anger, but don't let it control you. Feel the sadness and appreciate that without it, you wouldn't be as happy. Feel the happiness and let it seep into every cell of your body. Every emotion has a purpose; it's not good enough to just be happy, or just sad. Feel every emotion and appreciate that it builds you to be stronger than ever before.

What men want in a woman is someone who understands that they have complete control of their emotions. Women who understand that being ruled by their emotions is an indulgence won't get as much love as women who see emotional control as a skill they could master.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here


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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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